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Transforming Anger

How to Turn Hurt into Happiness

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Transforming Anger: How to Turn Hurt into Happiness

We may be entitled to our anger, but do we really want it? Practical advice for getting out of the resentment rut.

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Topics:	Tevet, Resentment; Revenge, Forgiveness, Anger

Frumma Rosenberg-Gottlieb is an educator, spiritual mentor and Torah life coach. She is the co-author of Awesome Aging: Happier, Healthier, Smarter and Younger than Yesterday. To learn more, visit her website.

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Justin January 8, 2024

This was great! Thank you! Reply

Zuzana Belgium July 3, 2021

Thank you for amazing teaching, Mrs.Rosenberg-Gottlieb! May I ask you: What does Torah or the sages say about situation when we ask sincerely person to forgive and that person rejects our request and instead curses even more? What are we supposed to do then? Reply

Anonymous August 22, 2016

Yosef did not forgive his brothers. He said what he said but he did not forgive them. Reply

Anonymous USA February 12, 2014

Transforming Anger Do you mean that Hashem, blessed be He, designed abusers to hurt children, sexually, physically, verbally, etc., etc.? I cannot believe that. Where is that written in Torah? King David used to pray for his enemies to be eliminated in many of the psalms. He used to ask for those who hurt him get their pay back. He would not retaliate, except when going to war with his enemies. I understand that you want to be a kind person, and hatred towards other is not good for one's health anyway, because it brings depression and pain. But I do not believe that our G-d designed evil for us. There is a spiritual evil who wants to hurt us and deviate us from the path of life. Although all spiritual beings were created by G-d I believe that there are those who hate our Creator, and those who love G-d. It is a good thing to get rid of anger, live life free of hatred, and grudges, for our own interest and Heavens sake. Reply

Jackie Arkansas February 5, 2014

Thank you. Mrs. Rosenberg-Gottlieb,
Thank you for such a well said lesson. You have lightened my load. Is it okay to copy prayer you sent to Ramona?
Sincerely,
Jackie Reply

Ari Yitzchak Pennsylvania February 8, 2013

Seeking Reconciliation My sister and I have not spoken in years. For some reason, She is quite angry with me. This unfortunately not new, It has been an on and off thing for decades. If I call her , she does not want to talk to me. I would like to bring about a reconciliation, but I have no idea where to start. The majority of our relations have been acrimonius. What can I do? where do i start? Reply

Anonymous USA January 25, 2013

Transforming Anger Mrs. Rosenberg-Gotlieb, your words have touched my heart so deeply today. I think I know today what Hashem, blessed be He, wants me to do concerning these specific people in my life that I need to let them know how much I love them. I finally realize that transforming anger to understanding and compassion is more important than material riches. I am taking responsibiity today since I am the older generation, the mother, who needs to try the outmost to nurture with true love of the heart her children. Thank you so much for these wonderful words of wisdom, love and compassion. May Hashem keep on blessing you with the most riches of s piritual wisdom. Reply

Frumma Rosenberg-Gottlieb Miami January 23, 2013

Good for you Ari Yitzhak! When we offer an apology, we offer those we love a chance to go "Back to the Future!" we actually become time travelers, able to elevate what was. And most people will eagerly accept the opportunity to live in peace. ,Hashem says ‘open for Me a hole the size of a needle, and I will open for you a breach big enough for wagons to go through.’ By humbling yourself for peace you receive full support from the Heavenly influences. Good work! Reply

Frumma Rosenberg-Gottlieb Miami January 23, 2013

To Ramona in Arkansas - Prayer Before Retiring at Night Here is the prayer you requested ; "Master of the Universe, I hereby forgive anyone who annoyed me or mocked me, or who sinned against me whether physically, financially, or hurt my honor or anything else of mine. Whether accidentally, willingly, unintentionally or intentionally; whether in speech or in action, in this life or any other. And no person should be punished because of what they did to me.
May it be Your Will, my God and the God of my ancestors, that I should not err again and should not repeat my mistakes, and that I shouldn't anger You any more or do bad in Your eyes. In Your great mercy may You erase the mistakes I have made, but not
through suffering or terrible disease. May the words of my mouth and the feelings of my heart be acceptable to You, my Rock and Redeemer.."
Please note that first we forgive others and then ask for forgiveness and guidance for ourselves. Reply

Ari Yitzchak Pennsylvania January 22, 2013

Forgiveness I asked my new lady friend for forgiveness(see previous entry) and she forgave me right away!! Reply

Anonymous USA January 21, 2013

Transforming Anger I have listened to your lecture today again Mrs. Rosenberg-Gottlieb. It is such a wonderful teaching. I am amazed. You are so right. I feel that I have forgiven my abusers, but they seem to be so angry...I do not know what else to do but to pray, and pray. Thank you so much for the enlightening. Reply

Ari Yitzchak Pennsylvania January 19, 2013

Transforming anger I had a fight with my new lady friend and I forgave her soon after. It really helped!!!! After hearing your lecture, I realized that I must ask her to forgive me for losing my temper! I was very surprised that I did. Reply

Rachel Israel January 9, 2013

Great!
Thank you for this excellent lesson! Reply

Ramona Jolly Arkansas January 9, 2013

Can you send me the evening and morning prayers you mentioned in your teaching on anger? Can you send me the evening and morning prayers you mentioned in your teaching on anger?
Thank you, Shalom Reply

Anonymous January 9, 2013

Practical Action I very much enjoyed your lecture - practically speaking - how do you forgive people who you are enraged with? forexample your parents Reply

Irene Glen Burnie, MD USA January 9, 2013

Transforming Anger Shalom: Really enjoyed what you said.

May Hashem abundantly bless you and your family. Reply

Anonymous USA January 8, 2013

Transforming Anger Mrs Rosenberg, what can one do when one find forgiveness in the heart and pray about but the others do not change their behavior? I pray, and pray, and Hashem has given me many symbols in which that other person is so angry and hateful, for I do not understand why that I have actually have seen an Angel fighting on my behalf, because they have come to hurt me with such a force that Hashem, blessed be He, intervenes and delivers me. But these are people I love so much and it hurts so much. They are totally ignorant of the teaching of Torah. Some of them in my family are not even believers. What else can one do? I do not want to go back in that path of life that is part of them still. I am trying to serve Hashem. I have given them Torah to study and given them information of what I learn from the Sages. But they do not want or choose to seek Hashem to give them the understanding, because that is what they usually tell me, that they do not understand Torah, or some of them do not belief. Reply

Transforming Anger: How to Turn Hurt into Happiness

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