At the age of 22, I discovered a new emotion. My husband had recently begun teaching in the evenings, I was home alone with a sleeping baby, and I no longer had a jam-packed schedule from the moment I woke up until the second I went to sleep. And I was feeling lonely! I felt so uncomfortable in my own skin. It was dark outside, it was silent inside, and I felt the loneliness closing in on me.

Time to get out of my own head!

A student once wrote to the Lubavitcher Rebbe that since he was away from home learning in yeshivah, he was struggling with feelings of loneliness. The Rebbe didn’t allow him to indulge in pity parties. Firstly, the Rebbe placed the responsibility to reach out to others on him—he should seek out friends to help alleviate the loneliness. Furthermore, the Rebbe suggested that he should busy himself with doing something good for others, and he would then feel that inner connection that all Jews have with each other.

It really worked. I called a friend, and instead of kvetching about feeling lonely, I asked her how she was doing. I thought of people who could use a phone call, or some food sent over, and tried to get out of my self-imposed bubble to see who might need my help. I even discovered a new hobby: writing.

I began to look forward to my long stretch of quiet evenings ...

Thoughtstream: Today, I will make it my business to reach out to a friend and be of help to someone else.

(Adapted from Igrot Kodesh, vol. 17, p. 9.)