Giving to others often comes with a fringe benefit—that warm, fuzzy feeling inside. When I send dinner over to a woman after she has a baby, or prepare soup for somebody who’s not feeling well, there is definitely a feeling of satisfaction that I have “done something.” But sometimes, it’s not convenient, or the recipient is not grateful, and a tiny bit of resentment can creep in.
At those times, I need to remember that it’s not about me. And I can’t think of a better example than an anecdote from the remarkable Rebbetzin Rivkah, wife of the fourth Chabad Rebbe.
Rebbetzin Rivkah used to prepare a tasty, healthful fruit concoction for sick children. On one occasion, a woman came with a sob story of an ill child, requesting some of the jam for her youngster. The Rebbetzin gave her a generous amount, but her assistant suspected that something was amiss. That evening, the assistant peeked into the woman’s home to verify if her child was indeed sick. Sure enough, the entire family was delightfully partaking of the Rebbetzin’s delicious fruit mixture, with no sign of any illness.
When the assistant reported her findings to the Rebbetzin, the Rebbetzin let out a deep breath and replied, “The child is healthy? Thank G‑d! I was getting so worried about him!”
No word about being taken advantage of, no word about personal inconvenience. Because she was so focused on the other person, and not on herself, she was happy to hear that the child was healthy and well.
Thoughtstream: Today, I will focus on giving—thinking about the recipient and not about myself.
(Adapted from Ateret Malchut, pg. 85.)
Join the Discussion