"But whyyyyyyyy did Mommy go in without us?" I was three years old, and I had been very excited when, in their inability to secure a babysitter, my parents had let me come along in the car for their drive to the West Side. I was excited for all the fun, grown-up activities that I was going to be included in that night. We stopped in front of a rather nondescript building and my mother left the car to go in, leaving my father and I behind. Suddenly, this outing was not so fun anymore. As I whined out my question, my quick-thinking father replied, "Mommy has to go to the ladies' club. She will only be there a little bit. We have to wait here because we are not ladies." Even at three, I shared his trait of quick-thinking and responded, "You are not a lady, but I am! You call me your 'little lady' all the time!" He smiled and laughed at both my wit and my innocence and replied, "You are my little lady, but the ladies' club in not for little three-year-old ladies; it is for grown-up married ladies. Please G‑d, when you are a grown-up married lady, you will join the club." By the time the conversation was over, my mother had returned to the car. I had no more questions that evening, and it would be a decade or so before I would know about the physical cycle that necessitates the use of the ladies' club, as well what happens in there.
I was all ready to jump into the warm, inviting water, but the mikvah attendant wanted to go over some final details first, like how to fully immerse, not to squeeze my eyes tight, or clench my fists, and to make sure my feet leave the bottom for a split second. Then, she took a few minutes to explain to me that my time in the water would be a particularly auspicious time for prayer, and that I should enter with the proper kavanah, concentration. She also explained some of the deeper meanings behind the journey I was about to embark on. My mother beamed proudly the entire time, so happy to be initiating her eldest into this finest, most special of clubs. The water felt magical; it took all of thirty seconds to be finished dunking, but it was the most special and intimate thirty seconds I have experienced in my entire life until now. As recommended by the mikvah attendant, I spent a few more minutes alone in the water, praying to G‑d, and feeling closer than I ever had before, and I felt like I suddenly knew so much more about life and about my Creator, than I ever could have had the chance to before. I felt like my soul had been cleansed, even more deeply than my body.
I still have more ahead of me; I am sure the chupah will bring on similar emotions. But tonight, I have begun a mission and been imbued with a new sense of purpose and destiny. I will bring these with me to the wedding, and G‑d willing, into everything my husband and I will do for the rest of our lives. With new beginnings come new chances, opportunities, optimism. I pray that G‑d allows us to make the most it. But now, I must sleep; there will be lots to do tomorrow. Mazal Tov, and goodnight!
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