True, our hearts are not in our hands. But our minds are: We can think about whatever we decide to think about. And therein lies our power.
The mind rules over the heart—not just as a rider rules over his horse, but in a much more intimate sense. For the mind is the father and the mother, the seed and the womb from which the attitudes of a person are born and then nurtured. The heart does no more than reflect the state of the mind—its turmoil, its resolution, its shallowness or its depth, its coarseness or its maturity.
This then must be the focus of the person who wishes to leave this world with more than he arrived: To engage his mind with all its intensity in thoughts that elevate and inspire, and push away with equal force any thought that drags down and holds back.
And to allow all that labor to pass through the channel from the mind to the heart and give birth to actual deeds.
I love the fragments that keep you growing intellectualy: Indeed, the mind is the source of free will , and we can wreck the life we were given by wiillingly misbehaving. It is up to us to find the path to go on derech, and try to elevate our thinking and thus our behavior. Surely, there will be a lot of happening that, sadly, is not in our control and lead to unwanted outcomes. Yet, despite it if you train your mind to say kadimah no matter what - that is what you do and actually go forward. This going forward is by no means easy but leaning on the Torah, Mitzvot, and emunah we achiive living in this world at a higher level without a doubt.