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Channels Women’s Learning Women of the Bible Sarah's Courage

How to Be a Taker

Sarah’s Courage: Lesson 5

By Chana Weisberg

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How to Be a Taker: Sarah’s Courage: Lesson 5

It’s one thing to give altruistically, but is it possible to take altruistically? An interesting take on the story of Sarah’s handmaid, Hagar.

Handouts:	5) How to be a Taker
Audio:	Listen to Audio \| Download this MP3
Topics:	Lech-Lecha, Abraham, Sarah, Giver and Recipient

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Chana Weisberg is host of the Ordinary People, Extraordinary Stories podcast and curator of advanced learning experiences on Chabad.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of six books. Her latest book, Shabbat Delights, is a two-volume series on the weekly Torah portion.

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Miss Leah WEingarten london April 2, 2015

I thank you, Chana, for giving me the opportunity to unveil the rich inner qualities which is part of the gift of femininity.
I pray we should all access the blessings within, which comes from the actions of our ancestors.
Kind regards,
Leah
UK Reply

Lisa Long Beach, CA August 13, 2013

clarifying hagar's attitude Each time I watch this series, I learn so much more. Hagar's change of heart/attitude may be one of the reasons now why Israel (and the rest of the world) is having so much turmoil throughout the ages and unfortunately will continue to do so until the fullness of the Messianic Age. It takes great strength and focus to eliminate one's own thinking and place it with HaShem's divine thinking and purpose. HIS way's are always higher and greater than we all could ever imagine. I pray for HIS mighty grace to be in me to understand it all. Reply

Anonymous August 13, 2013

What about the fact that Sarah did not trust G-d that she will conceive? Reply

Anonymous USA June 4, 2013

How To Be A Taker/Or Giver? As I received this commentary today, I need to express my feelings further. As a woman I understand the feelings of both women here. Sarah, thought of the child she wanted for many reasons. On the other hand Hagar 'was given to Abraham' by her father. Do we really know this woman/Hagar inner feelings? As a human being, I doubt very much that she was happy with her circumstances. A woman haven't had much say since the beginning of time. I am also a mother. Never would I feel right to give my child to another human being to raise unless the reasons involved life/death. Women have been sacrificed through the ages, this they might take a surrender, but when it comes to give her child, her instincts, given by G-d of preserving this child, are too strong. I see this behavior in all animals. Also, the child resentments of being 'given' away. It is a very complicated subject to deal with. I only hope that this was truly G-d's will. For what I understand it was Sarah's mistake. Faith/trust lack. Reply

Lisa Long Beach, CA June 2, 2013

clarifying hagar Mrs Weisberg, thank you for clarifying Hagar's background. Indeed, what Sarah had done in giving Hagar to Abraham was a common practice among royal houses around the world. This is the first time I have heard the full story here. I am so delighted with this series and grateful for being enlighten by it. Reply

chana Jerusalem May 27, 2013

terrific series of classs well - constructed, dramatic, thoroughly researched and enlightening - what more could one want? Reply

Mrs. Chana Weisberg May 27, 2013

To Michelle Thank you for your questions and the opportunity to clarify.
Like most things, we need context to provide greater clarity.
Who was this Hagar and how did she become part of Sara's family?
Hagar was the daughter of Pharaoh, the same king who abducted Sara due to her great beauty and who was smitten by angels on Sara's bidding, every time he approached her inappropriately. It was then that Pharaoh recognized Sara and her husband, Abraham's greatness as holy people, representatives of G-d. He sends the couple away laden with riches and presents. One of the presents that he personally presented to Sara was his daughter, Hagar, whom he gave as a mistress.
Now, before we get all up in arms about this we need to understand that Hagar herself was elated with this decision. She herself was a woman who recognized Sara's greatness and according to the midrash she said, "It is better that I be a maidservant in this home than the greatest princess elsewhere."
So, Hagar, the previous princess of Egypt was happy to leave her homeland and her status as a princess in Egypt because she realized that Abraham and Sara were people of morals and integrity. She happily exchanged her position in the morally depraved Egyptian society to pursue the path of truth and morality, and was happy to become Sara's maidservant, to help her in any way to spread the message of truth.
This midrash clearly attests to Hagar's greatness and sincerity.
With this background information, we can now understand that Hagar would be thrilled to actually be a "wife" of Abraham, bearing a child which would be raised by this special G-dly couple to follow in their footsteps of truth and morality and bring their teachings to the rest of mankind. What an awesome opportunity!
Unfortunately, as the videos explain, Hagar had a complete change of heart and became arrogant once she was pregnant and convinced herself that she was the righteous one, far more righteous in fact than her holy mistress. This is where the problems began.... Reply

tovah D'Souza nehusha, Israel August 19, 2019

in response to Mrs. Chana Weisberg:

Thank you for your well-written presentation, Chana. Omitting Sara's equally prophetic declaration of Abraham's fault in the matter of Hagar's change of attitude unfortunately omits an entire set of additional truths that are critical to learning from this episode proper relationships. Sara's declaration, "May my injustice be upon you," and the previous statement that Sara had become "unimportant" in Hagar's life, tie directly to the later description of Ishmael's behavior toward Isaac and Sara's next prophetic words to Abraham to cast out both Hagar and Ishmael. The statement that Avraham was grieved by Sara's demand, then was told by HaShem to listen to Sara's voice in this matter, completes the narrative. Although these latter events are negative when compared to the selfless visionary actions described in this presentation, they are critical to seeing the whole picture, the whole of the truths, in a balanced manner. They must not be ignored. Keep up the good work, Chana. Reply

Ester Tarnogol Buenos Aires May 25, 2013

Just Wonderful!! Just Wonderful!! Reply

Michelle Andre CC May 24, 2013

Wow Hagar was given to Sarah, then Sarah gave her to her husband so that Sarah can raise Hagar's baby as her own? I can't think but that is selfish of Sarah, I think I would be a little upset if I was to lay with someone else's husband to have my child given to another women to raise! This is really bothering me! I am sorry but I can't see that Sarah is concerned with Hagar and I'm feeling Sarah is not G-d! what gives Sarah the right to give a human Hagar to sleep with Sarah's husband? So was Sarah selfless or Hagar? Give Hagar some credit here! Oh have my baby wash my feet your just my hand maiden you have no feelings? Who is the slave here? Hagar was the one to give of herself and not by her own choice from the start! Please help me to see this event with a clear mind. Reply

Anonymous USA May 24, 2013

Beautiful concept!! This is a difficult situation for a woman, therefore, it really shows Sarah's greatness. And, on the other hand, Abrahams immense devotion to Hashem's, blessed be He, instructions on living a righteous life. I have experienced altruistic giving. Although, today, as I get older, becomes so difficult to accept the turnout. But my constant prayer is to Hashem to help me continue on with a clean, and pure heart. Years pass and leave many wounds. They do not stop at a point, it seems to continue on. But I belief, that trusting in the Almighty is where success in conquering the world of iniquities is accomplished. Oh L-rd create in me a pure heart, and renew my spirit every day so that I can serve you with all my heart and soul. Open the eyes of those who want to take away the wonderful gifts you have given me. Do not leave me destitute in the hands of the oppressor, for without you I am lost like a sheep without a shepherd to be devoured by your enemies. Thank you Chana. Reply

tovah D'Souza nehusha August 19, 2019

in response to Anonymous:

to anonymous: if you read Tanach carefully you will find that you are to hold only HaShem as your King. As long as the 'gifts' of which you write are in keeping with Torah, no one has the right to 'take away' the gifts. if you have accidentally given others the impression that thay can do this, you can reverse this false message to them. Reply

Anonymous Tzfat May 23, 2013

It moved me to tears. No words can express my appreciation of this installment, this class. Thank you so much. I pray and bless us all to reach this lofty level. Please G-d. Reply

How to Be a Taker: Sarah’s Courage: Lesson 5

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