From a letter:
Even if all your complaints about your spouse are well-founded and valid—show her your love, nevertheless. Show her unconditional love.
The sages taught that all our exile is due to the sin of senseless, unwarranted hatred.
When each one of us will start with unwarranted, unconditional love in our own domain, from there it will spread to all else that we do, and from there to the entire world, speedily in our days, amen.
I think it would be preferable not to attach oursrkves to the secular conceot of unconditional love. Instead limitless love.
Is unconditional love somehow a "superior" love rather than the word "love" as has been said for millenia?
I am a stickler for words. I say what I mean which somehow confuses people who use words to say them. We study the intricacies of the words in G-d's Torah with seeking to "know" as much about G-d as possible and His intentions. Can we not be disingenuous to the truth of love by masking it so?
Do we gain or have any added clarification that was somehow missing in our understanding of love by adding "unconditional"?
In my interactions with people who think saying "I believe in G-d" is somehow a superior declaration, so I find this statement of "unconditional love" to be pseudo superior. Believing in G-d whule not have an intimate, personal, one-on-one relationship with Him is as hollow as having "unconditional love" while mindlessly hurting others.
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"Superior" and "limiltless" love further enhance the enigma of unconditional love.
Unconditional love is superior to secular love which is ego driven. Love based on the fulfillment of pleasure from another is conditional. Remove the pleasure, remove the love.
Unconditional love is when you rise above the ego, the negative judgements and differences between you and others, your need to profit from others. We overcome the repulsion that separates us. It is love beyond the ego, a superior love, a divine love.
We effort to go beyond our narure for the purpose of coming closer to G_dliness.
Unconditional love knows no bounds. It is "limitless". It is "superior" to egoistic love.
Wise choice of words, JF!
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During the time of the first and second Temple, the people reached great spiritual heights.
The Temples were a physical reflection of the unconditional love that bonded each person to another. They built a unity where G_d's light could dwell within their holy structure of mutual guarantee of unconditional love between them.
When that bond between us is broken and replaced by unfoundered hatred, the holy structure within our hearts collapses and G_d claims, "He and I cannot dwell in the same abode". We are in exile.
Now we must return to our roots. Rebuild that holy network of unconditional love. The light that can dwell between us will radiate to all humanity. This divine unity must be accomplished again. This will create the Third Temple within the hearts for all humanity.
We must rebuild this unity now. These tough times demand us to accomplish our mission.
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Shabbat Shalom 🌹
"Even if all your complaints about your spouse is valid. Show [her/him] your unconditional love. The Torah says if you search for wisdom with all your heart, you will find her [understanding]. I'd like to use poetic license to replace the word "her" with the word "chokmah." Show your spouse "chokmah," unconditional love. The Rebbe [bless his righteous memory] is a wise man.
"Love straight from the heart pulls us together, and not apart."
Shabbat Shalom, 🌹
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I am wondering if it is only the men who need to do the unconditional love due to the use of the pronoun her.
Also if one needs to love themself before one can love another would that be where to start? There is the masculine and feminine aspects in each of us.. for example does my feminine side qualities dislike my masculine side qualities?
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Both male and females should show each other unconditional love.
The ideology of loving oneself before loving another should start from the heart. Look inwardly, love yourself and your flaws because that's you.
You're masculine and feminine side qualities will always work in alignment, hand in hand. Completing each other in their differences. If it's not so for you, look inward and find love for them both because they are a pair yet different in context and situations.
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How many conditions does unconditional love actually behold? When you keep loving and loving with the hope each day will bring a conditional piece of love your way, instead of always going the opposite way. Live each day to love somewhat more and love each day that you made it through to live so as to love again tomorrow. But when do the conditions stop and you eventually say, I’ve had enough? My glass is almost empty and yours is just about full. Do you think you can pour a few conditions in my glass so tomorrow won’t seem so unpredictable as all the other yesterdays have. Or maybe my conditions haven’t been good enough and you just didn’t want to complain. Maybe you began to take me for granted and always had known that I would be the giver and you’d be the taker. I ask myself, did I actually see my conditions not giving any type of return. I know in the deepest part of my heart for all my years of unconditional love, I’ll be rewarded maybe not here on earth but somewhere. Reply
Spark Of Unconditional Love
It is said that love covers all transgressions. Rising above our ego which separates us from others according to our different qualities, allows us to feel that inner connection between us that exists at the root of our soul. This is what the Kabbalists laboured to achieve. Then they were rewarded with the revelation of G_dliness - that sublime sensation of unconditional love that He has for all.
This is the manner in which Abraham, Moses and other sages guided those who desired to awaken their divine spark within.
Now that the ego has exhausted itself, all those that desire to rekindle that spark, must initiate this process among themselves as one caring family. Then this flame will be a light unto all humanity.
Hopefully we will transition from hatred to love in this pleasant way and manage to avoid all the challenges and troubles that will only force us to acknowledge the mission.
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Thank you, Rabbi Freeman.
It is important towards a spouse, of course, however the importance is relevant how we see the world and other people. There are times, perhaps of dissapointment, of hurt, and then we have to deal with certain realities, how we chose to act. I think that s good sincere prayer life helps. Prayer gives us the perspective we need to understand our own selfishness and those of others. Gentleness toward ourselves and toward others helps. These are hard lessons to learn, I know from experience.
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Unconditional love...
I do everything I can for my wife, children,grandchildren, my rabbi and his family.
And I feel the mitzvah of love and it comes back to me.
I look for nothing, request nothing and still love comes back to me.
Shalom shalom
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How does one can love if he don't? Our L-rd does not bless everyone with the same talents. Some of us know how to love and some of us know how to sing. Your one sentence post hits me right in the gut! The words and the way you put them together swing and sway. They fit together and yet they do not. The construction is crazy cool and exciting! I have never heard anything quite like it before; except, i think it should be the name of a love poem put to music. Then that song should be played on an old, not quite tuned guitar, while sitting on a slider on a front porch down south somewhere. Maybe the way you love is with words, because I am still feeling the warmth of your sentence and I read it more than a half hour ago. Reply
how does one can love if he don't? Reply
Thank you for this reminder of this basic truth and the effects of its practice (or the opposite). It is so easy to slip off and away into distraction. Reply
What it is and how to do it I hope to post more on this topic in the near future. Keep watching. Reply
Free Will Our Creator gave us the freedom and ability to choose which paths to follow. That is an incredible gift and huge responsibility. We also have, most importantly, guidelines we can follow, as Jews. No matter what the situation; no matter how terrible; we can turn it to good through praying for the wisdom and understanding to follow our guidelines; our Torah. Reply
That's really a nice sentiment. I love this. Thank you. Reply
No one can give what they do not have. I believe that mistreatment of a wife by a husband or of a husband by a wife is due to each not loving themselves. If I do not love myself, I have no love to give to anyone else. FIRST, take care of yourself and pray for self love. Spend energy and effort being a person you, yourself can love with all your heart. Once you have self-love, you will want to give it to others, especially your spouse. Self-love grows bigger the more it is given to others. Reply
Thank you for your beautiful words of wisdom so true. I have experienced the physical and spiritual truth of your statement. Maybe people are so saturated with the mundane of the world they are drawn away from the spiritual which gives us our true beauty.
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Marital strife andd unconditional love
I believe in unconditional love in a marriage....until one partner commits an act that is so painful that "uncoditional love" has then to be put on hold.
My husband says that you cannot have unconditional love in a marriage.
I disagree. Can you explain why unconditional love is so important in a marriage.
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Unconditional Love Conditions imply boundries. In the Jewish faith these lines are drawn.If you show unbounded love for G-D and each other, Then their are really no obstacles at all. Reply
men too or show "him" your unconditional love. Reply
Showing Love
The Rebbe might have had superhuman traits, but what he seems to be saying here is - at least for this Jewish human being - utterly unrealistic and even potentially detrimental to her relationship with her Creator.
As a Jew I am first and foremost married to my G-d and then by extension to the piece of G-dliness invested in my designated spouse. If that G-dliness in my spouse becomes clouded, then I shall do everything within my power to help clear it, but if the clouds threaten to intrude into my piece of G-dliness, I shall have to defend my G-d AND his G-d. Within this operational context, at times during a marriage one might not be able to show Love (which is always there yearning and aching to be expressed). Yet on a very deep level, exactly this 'not being able to show Love' is the expression of Love itself.
In hard times, the Pain of not being able to show Love becomes Love.
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Emotions don't have the logic of mathematical problems. The child learns from his parents how to deal with them, from that pattern the individual will go through life. If there are other members that have interest in that child, he/she can modify those emotions, and learn a better way to relate. The growth is therefore, not uniform! The word " unconditional" is by itself unique because in reality, most of human interactions are transactional. Is the love of a mother always unconditional? The answer should be yes ,but not in all cases, and that is , sadly, how some people enter therapy -to fix what is missing. If, in some cases the love of a mother is conditional, It is difficult to understand what real " unconditional" love is. since the baby didn't learn it! Love for H'. is unconditional, but " Vehavta le reiachah kamocha" shows us that it is also difficult to achieve since we have to be reminded to do it. Unconditional is an aspiration to achieve!