Talk is powerful. Speak bad about someone and you expose all the ugliness in him, in yourself and in whoever happens to be paying attention. Once exposed, the wound begins to fester and all are hurt.
Speak good about the same person, even from afar, and the inner good within him, within you and within all who participate begins to shine.
Some People who commit Loshen Hora do so, due to a distorted and paranoid view of their victim. They see their actions as righteous, when in fact the opposite is true. It seems like most people have been the victim of Loshen Hora at one time or another. I know I have. The answer to this terrible avera --of course-- is to view a person in light of their actions more than their words, and in light of proven accounts rather than merely trusting the opinions of others as third party reporters. Loshen Hora hurts everyone. And finally, if you look carefully at the letters of the words Loshen Hora is literally the opposite of Shalom: first we see the Lamed followed by the Shin and Nun (Loshen) in contrast to the Shin followed by the Lamed and Mem. (Sha-Lom). Reply
What if that person was your boss, and what if that boss sexually harassed and bullied you relentlessly for three months until you finally quit the job, threatened to disrupt your marriage, spread false rumors, and was heard saying she would kill you if you ever left her company? And what if that boss revealed certain activities that were in violation of the law and the ethical standards of your profession? Reply
This is so awful. I sincerely feel your pain and trouble. It seems as though no matter what you do, the person is set on destruction. I have a similar experience. I definitely would like to read the Rabbi's advice on this. Reply
There are very, very few absolutes in this world. To almost every rule there are many important exceptions.
But that doesn’t weaken the truth in the slightest. Even the heroic whistleblower, who is so valuable to the health of our society, must know where the whistle stops and where normal life begins once again.
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Intriguing response. Can you please expound on that last sentence? I don’t understand it. Reply
Thank you for this post. It is so true. However, what if we simply choose to not speak of or associate with someone who has done very bad to us, is this acceptable? I have one that I can find very little good in and when a discussion of this person arises, I simply sit quietly. Trying in the past to repair only brought more opportunity to hurt me. Some people are simply mean, and seemingly driven by hurting others. Avoidance helps me. Am I wrong in doing so? Reply
My favorite! It's true. Reply
power talk (to anonymous) per your comment, guess i understood this daily dose to be simply a choice between gossiping or saying something good. surely, i hope if it came down to reporting a wrongdoing that could cause harm or hurt someone, hopefully, i would report it right away! Reply
Don't think I agree with all the recent postings
Dear Rabbi,
Feel much blessed by the majority of past postings. The last four or five about say good things about not reporting bad peoples' bad actions, sounds like a way of letting perpetrators get away with abuse (verbal, sexual, emotional, psychological), breaking laws and/or harming others.
Speaking out against wrongs is a responsibility - the attitude of allowing perpetrators to break laws and hurt you or others is not okay.
Thank you for listening/reading.
kol tuv
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'talk' why NOT say something good? Reply
Reflections I can only see forms/characteristics in others that are present in a similar or same form of characteristic in me. What I see in others is a reflection of what is in me. Reply
Power Talk There are many ways I can approach dealing with a first comment for Power Talk. I definitely don't want to write something where I am perpetuating instead of transfixing and retelling a time where ugliness and deathly hate was left to grow inside me and a few others due to powerful talk. Due to words that were said. But I have grown to breathe easier these years. I have decided to try and help those that became of the walking dead due to hearing heavy gossip about me-The fact that there is still something I can do for them-helps me with my pain. Reply
so true... i tried it and it works! Reply
It seems to me that people in positions of authority over others are too often interested in condemning speech that would expose their sinful ways.
It is true that the wise talk about issues, and the foolish talk about people.
But, it is the devious that confuse this and try and remove the truth that when speaking about important issues that must be discussed, we must at times discuss the poor character of specific people.
Good Morning, Brett [2024]
You make a good point. Many times, people do not listen to wise counsel. They perceive wise counselors such as gdly leaders, rabbis, and ministers as haters, jealous, and envious of potential good fortune. Unfortunately, in these cases, "bought sense is better than told." Have you ever heard of the saying, "Birds of a feather flock together, but eagles fly alone?" People tend to not want to deal with their iniquities, so they support people who have the same issues as they do - "no one is perfect." Their imperfections is a means of societal acceptance rather repentance, forgiveness, and GDLY acceptance according to the Torah/Bible. Ann Coulter, a political activist and renown author, suggest that American liberalism is in direct opposition to the Judeo-Christian (Torah/Bible) principles. Moreover, we are to keep shining our light, pray, bless, and speak GD's Truth. Someone may be listening. Thank you.
Best wishes,