Helping

Thanks for the words of wisdom about actively looking for the good seed instead of focusing on what is wrong and what may be different, when just possibly what seems wrong, what blemishes, and what is different is Gd's creation too. This is a difficult concept to acknowledge. Reply

The SPARK of Connection to HELP Everyone has that tiny spark that connects him to the Creator. Sometimes that spark is buried under layers of self absorption.

I need to connect my spark to that spark within the friend - then I and the friend find the Creator between us. Then I am given the opportunity to help the friend through the Creator that dwells in the space between us. Reply

Don't wait My take on this: don't wait for when you start seeing goodness in him or for your love for him ... start helping now as best you can ... and see what happens Reply

Predjudice? Greetings!

Rabbi, I might be over thinking this, but the way that I read this is that until one can get past a persons prejudice's, fear of, loathing, or mistrust, et. al. of a person and see the person in need as an equal, with goodness, and creation of G*d, then anything that you do for that person will not truly help the one in need, or spiritually benefit the one who is helping. Reply

heping I think it could also be interpreted that, if you are being judgmental and have a pre-conceived negative image of a person, you may not be motivated to help that person. Therefore, we must remove our assumptions and see the good in the person, in order to help/heal the person. Also, seeing the good in a person could also allow the person to reveal who they are, rather than you jumping in and making assumptions about the person. That is my two cents worth! Reply

question Shall I help him if he hurts me? How can I be sure that he hurts me? Reply

helping I love this site! As long as G-d keeps me on the giving end, it's a great opportunity and i'm forever grateful; yet have learned it sometimes takes a little discernment. I can tend to just rush right in when it seems someone needs help. this may not be welcomed; they may not want it. Or, after a while it's apparent they become dependent and weak. Then it's someone else's turn to help them! THANK G-D other opportunities continually show up!!! to me, it's a responsibility; and it amazes me, even though it rarely is appreciated and practically never is returned. The great reward (to me) is from G-d keeping me on the giving side! It's fantastic Reply

I feel that I understand it better if I turn it around.
When we help someone the true goodness is in that person for giving us the opportunity of us being healed ourselves.
Giving help bounces back to my own growth and I'm grateful for G-d giving me this gift of helping. I am being healed hundred times back. Then it can, when it is genuine, resonate physically in my body as truth. Reply

Helping - author clarification of 3-1-11 As much as I appreciate Rabbi Freeman's clarification, "help" or "heal" does not provide clarification on the necessity of seeing "good."

It seems to me that "seeing good" before offering help is not the key thought. The important thing is to take the action.

Would it not be a "stronger mitzvah" (for lack of better words) to help the one who was in most need of help/healing without judgment as to good or bad in that individual?

It doesn't matter if the help is rejected in the moment; a seed has been planted ... selfishly, I am the one who has benefited most from the action. Reply

Whether "helping" or "healing," this message implies that once a person's good is acknowledged, the help will heal. That has not been the case for me. All the healing I tried to provide that "targeted" what I thought was positive about this person, was not sufficient to heal him. My belief in his goodness, his assets was not shared my him. Sometimes the wound, the disruption in the self, lies beyond the good we try to do. Reply

Helping I agree 100% with this article! Thank you for posting this article, it is right on time, and just what I needed! You can't help someone until they want to be HELP!!! Reply

Can't help without seeing good. Why would you be trying to help someone unless you had seen good in them??? You can't help until they want to be helped. Reply

simple but amazing this is so simple but yet so true!! Reply

...must always see or find goodness in an individual and then strive to assist them in any manner. Reply

Helping I understand the words, but am not sure that "seeing good" is criteria for helping him or her.

If I help another person with joy in my heart and in honor of G-d, would not I still be able to help the person?

I'm thinking of the words of Shimon Ha-Tzaddik: "The world rests on three things ... on Torah, on service of G-d, on deeds of love." Reply

Can't help? I love the Daily Dose. Every little tidbit that comes into my inbox every morning is a treasure. However, I was surprised to read today's dose. Perhaps it's not said very well but I have many times done something to help someone only for the sake of helping. My ability to help is always there first. I may see the good later. If I wait to see good I may grieve the soul. In fact, my helping often brings out the good in someone.
My rule: help first, look for the good later. Reply

Helping a person, when you see the good in him Dear Rabbi Freeman,
You are totally right. I learned it by experience.
(Not because I am so holy, but I am walking around here on earth already for such a long time. 76 years.)
Thank you for writing this.
- I am getting to know the Rebbe more and more, because you tell us regularly, what he said and thought. Reply

helping I love the daily doise from chabad.org.
but this e-mail I did not understand. I'm not an english native.
Can someone help please? Reply

Until you can find the good in a person you are incapable of FORGIVING him....
would be far bettter...

OR: Until you can find the best in a person you are incapable of enjoying him. Reply