Tell him: If you had been there, you would never have been liberated. (The Haggadah)
How will this response teach a child anything about the Exodus?
How will it draw any child any closer?
Because you must say it like this:
“If you had been there, before the Torah was given, you would have been lost to us forever.”
“But not this time around. Once we were taken from Egypt, we became a single nation, an indivisible whole, through our covenant of Torah. Each and every one of us became a vital, indispensable part of that whole. Including you.”
“We can never give up on you. And you will never be able to truly rip yourself apart from us. It became literally impossible for any Jewish soul to do so, no matter what that soul may do or purport to believe.”
“This precious Torah has made us one. So that you, at your core, are us, and we are you.”
Indeed, the first child mentioned in the Torah is the wicked child. Because it is this child that requires the most explanation, the most attention and the most love.
It is for this second child that we pour a second cup and recite the story of the Exodus.
Because this time around, no one can be left behind.
Thanks for leading me here. The basic premise is still flawed.
The child asks: Ok, but what does this have to do with me?
The parent answers: you're part of this story and we won't ever let you define yourself outside of it.
The child says: Um...but I don't relate to this? I have the right to define myself.
Faith - and culture - must be chosen. It's no one's place to tell me that because my family sometimes ate bagels and was religiously Jewish, I can't decide for myself that I'm Pagan and don't fit in with a Jewish cultural community. It's not the same, but telling me I'm Jewish isn't any more right than telling a trans woman that she's a man.
What might help is an explanation of what being Jewish means to YOU. They are asking for your perspective, for why it matters. What does it mean to you that you are Jewish? Why does it matter to you who your ancestors were? How does that affect who you are today? These are real questions that deserve answers, not just brush-offs.