As I play a game with my youngest daughter, I try to follow the rules of the game. I know that for her own benefit, I need to teach her how to graciously accept a setback. But with each roll of the dice, with each card that she uncovers, with each turn that she takes, I am inwardly holding my breath, secretly longing for her victory. Because it hurts me more than anything to see her sad, to feel the heaviness of her defeat.
Which is what makes me think about G‑d, and the “game” of life . . .
Playing games with G-d
The comments I've read before adding my own comment, seems to miss the point. We have a G-d who bends the rules for us occasionally to bring us closer to him, he cares for us that much! I can find no fault in that...how can anyone?
This story touched my soul because I have seen and felt his bending of the rules, and these private miracles he has sent me at times, has given me more closeness to him. Thank you Chana for sharing it with me!
Consider removing this before the daughter sees it
In this video, she says that she only lets her daughter win when her daughter will not notice.
Just one problem.
When you announce something on the Internet to the world, that includes not only strangers, but also your family.
The daughter may find this video online and learn from it that she has never really won and that her mother has been letting her win.
These unintended consequences should be considered before sharing personal anecdotes.
funny
My mother was like you when i was a child. She let me win even though i didn't know it. Perhaps i am a male and wrong, but i did not play hard , but i never wanted to be caught 'cheating' , losing on purpose. As my children grew, we continued playing games. And when they won, which became common, they were truly triumphant and knew what it took. They are such good sports in all areas of their life. They learned the number one lesson is how you play the game. It's no fun if nobody will play with you.
I just wanted to mention that you and i may differ in our means, but our children get as good a legacy either way. If your child is asking you to play, you must be doing something right.
charming and deep
one small complaint about an otherwise lovely production.
signing off by saying "Let's be in touch" makes the whole exercise so insincere because we never will be in touch with her and she knows it and we know it
good! very gooood!
A child who is loved learns to love... Infants are born with biological and emotional needs. Infants are NEVER required to fast, nor to follow rules. In fact, infants rule. With love and patience, we nurture and guide. It is a mistake to think a young child should learn what life is *really* like simply for the sake of experiencing failure, just as we do not deprive an infant of milk simply because as adults we must fast. There is always time and opportunity to fail. In stages we develop and mature. Coping skills are built on a foundation. This "education in reality" that some endorse is, in my experience, nearly always accompanied by bitter spite, becoming lessons in bitter failure & arrogant winning, leading away from the 1st Commandment. Often, the lessons are just as manufactured as when we allow very young kids to win. So then, what is this "reality"? It is less real than if a parent projects our Creator's perfect love onto a child through small moments of victory. Beautiful lesson, Ms. Weisberg!
the game you played with your young girl
Wrong to let her win.What do you teach her about life? Nothing. In life you need to learn how to lose, so you can win.
Smile on her face will be when she wins for real , with no help from you.That will make you happy for real.
Rules can be bent...
"Some rules can be bent, others can be broken".
The problem is: one has to reach a certain level of personal refinement before the true G-d's Will becomes apparent (and it becomes clear which rules should be bent, and which - should be left alone at the moment), and that involves LIVING with them (or IN them).
To illustrate a point - Eliyahu broke one rather important rule about sacrifices. How did he know which one to break, and when? A lot of people during that time were breaking other rules - somehow their breaking was not pleasing to HaShem, Eliyahu's breaking - was...
Thanks for the inspiration
Chana,
This is the first vidcast I've watched, and I'm so grateful for the 'touch' you offer. A beautiful message from a beautiful soul adds magic to my Elul efforts.
Thanks so much!
rules
Maybe rules should first be rightly understood, then willingly applied, and EXPECTINGLY waited on?
Some rules that I have managed to do well, at last, have had some surprising results. It is like pleasure, well-being, a sense of up-lifting and I get to then understand something either more fully or something I didn't know before.
Maybe they should be called Rewards instead of Rules.
Some people claim that the rules are sacred, and any thought of bending them is a sacrilege. Others would say that the first group idolized the rules - i.e. made an idol for themselves, thus violating one of the most fundamental Laws.
In any case, it seems clear that before considering whether or how to bend the rules, one should learn them well enough to master. Know what you're trying to bend before the bending! :-)
We shouldnt bend the rules, we should follow them even if its painful for us, because if not how can we make children lear to follow rules? If we dont teach children to follow rules in regular life, when it comes to religion they wont follow them.
Isn't that what we call miracles?
bh
When Hashem "bends the rules" so that we'll win, isn't that what we call a miracle?
And why shouldn't He "bend the rules"? After all, He made them!
May we all be the recipients of all the miracles we need in our lives. May we all witness the biggest miracle of them all, Moshiach, speedily and in our time.
Moshiach now!
To anonymous from Camarillo CA I am that "daughter". And I watched this and my mother's videos many times. I am 11 now and then I was just like 6. I know now that she did that sometimes when I was little and I know now that she doesn't do that anymore. Don't worry there's nothing to "hide".