There are times when the entire world denies the truth you know within.
There are times you must be a lion. Times to be an eagle. But now you must be a rock.
Now you must not flinch, not in any way even acknowledge the existence of the mighty waves that come crashing down upon you, conspiring to grind you to sand, to sweep you away to join them in the vast ocean.
You must be the hard, unmoving rock that lies at the essence of your soul, the voice from beyond all this ephemeral reality, from beyond all time and space, that says, “They are nothing. There is none else but He.”
It begins with you. And then it happens in your world: The outer crust of facade begins to crack, the essential reality is revealed, the storm dissipates as though it never were, and all things begin to say, “I am not a thing. In truth, there is none else but He.”
I've had so many, many heart rendering, tear jerking, non-speakable bad, bad events that have recently attacked my life. I'm trying to be a rock like I had to do in the past, but I'm just not able to become a rock this time. I pray and pray everyday, I call out to G D, both night and day, but I feel like a sponge instead of a rock.
I'll try to keep on believing G D, will soon relieve some of my pain.
Eleanor Skibo: I am permitting myself to respond your post because obviously you are sharing your pain with us. I have no idea of your circumstances ,and it is OK to keep them private. However, I can share with you my own personal issue that still causes me pain today, and obviously, it was in H's hands, and yes, try to be like a rock.
40 years ago, when suddenly before sukkot ,I feel I can't hear anymore - literally nothing. It was my nephew Bar Mitzvah, and I went to it despite this issue. Being in shul, nobody knew what was going on, since I know to pray so standing and sitting correctly. After the simcha, we called the doctor, and no it was not a tumor in the brain so what is it? It took a long time to resolve the question, but apparently a Lyme tick bit me and its poison stayed in me for a month doing the damage it did. I am functioning now, but not the same way it took time but I accepted this verdict, My humble advice is acceptance and trust in H'- but Kadima anyway !
Good Morning, Eleanor
This is not and easy time for you as you face many challenges. Whether you realize it or not, GD is holding you in His embrace, and helping you to get through these difficult times. Many of us empathize with you because we're either going through challenges, coming out of challenges, or resting from challenges.
I have a riddle for you. What is full of holes, but still holds water? A "sponge!" Its holes can retain a lot of liquid! The more liquid it holds, the bigger it GROWS until you have to squeeze it out! How is that possible!? Sponge's HOLES are its STRENGTH, and not a WEAKNESS. So, KNOW that at this moment you are GROWING! Someday, you will look back and be amazed at how you made it through. Trust and Rest on the Immoveable Rock - HaShem's Grace, and read your Psalms everyday for encouragement. 🙏
"Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning" [Psalm 30:5].