Every person needs a mentor. And that mentor needs a mentor. And that mentor as well—you can’t pull yourself up by tugging at your own hair.
Find yourself someone you can rely on for advice and counsel. Someone who understands you and whom you can trust and respect. If that person turns you down, insist and persist.
Don’t wait to be made a student. Be proactive and make someone your teacher.
Hello, Dr.Freeman
I looked up the cite address for biblical mentorship that you listed in your response comments, and I think that I will sign up. Thank you for the information.
Best regards,
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Mentorship is a very fascinating topic!
To find the right mentor is very similar to finding the right soulmate. There needs to be a compatibilty of mind, emotions and spirit. The end goal of any mentorship is the. Improvement of both members be it intellectually or spiritually.
There is no such thing as a perfect soulmate neither is there a perfect mentor but there should be mutual respect and appreciation for your mate.
Personally speaking I have been in such a relationship belonging to the Torah mate program from Oorah. My Torahmate and I have been learning for over 3 years now and it has been an extremely satisfying and enriching experience.
My recommendation to anyone reading this, please don't procrastinate take the plunge today!
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Chabad also provides a service to match anyone who wants to learn Torah with a mentor. It's called JNet and has been running with great success since 2005. JNet.org Reply
Hi Tzvi Fastag
Don't you think something is not quite right if a student or mentored person thinks of the mentor as a "mate?" Two not yet Torah scholars forming a study partnership is great but, I always thought that when I found a mentor/teacher it would be a person far more advanced than I in Torah knowledge, Yiddishkeit, and a host of other positive attributes. I hoped to feel the same kind of deep respect, trust, dedication, awe and love for my mentor/teacher as the students of old had for their Chassidic Masters. Just my three cents.
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Hello Tzvi. I am Ethan. I am 16 years old. We are most likely related. Everybody with the last name "Fastag", is related. For example we are related to Azriel-David Fastag (the composer of Ani Ma'Amin). We are also related to a woman named Eva Fastag (search up her name on Wikipedia)! If my suspicions are correct, since you live in New York. You probably know Marty and Danny Fastag? They live in New York. We have family in Mexico as well. Reply
Dear Dayan
I am sorry if I did not really answer your question. To really address your question I should point out that the Oorah organization will ask you what subject you would like to study.
They will ask you about your level of learning and/ or observance.
They will also ask you what you would like to accomplish.
They are extremely accommodating and will either match you up with the right teacher or student you are looking for. I hope I have answered your question.
Best wishes. Tzvi Fastag
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Hi Tzvi Fastag..
I had not posed a question. I was just responding to your interesting post which made me think.
But thanks for the further information.
And thank you, too, Rabbi Freeman for the information you provided as well. :-D
Have a great and peaceful Shabbos, everybody.
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Thank you for your reply.
I sometimes wonder if anyone is reading the posts or replies that I put up. I am glad that you read my post and that it made you think.
The brezlev hasidim I believe call their thinking or meditation process hitbodadut. Others call it pidyon hanefesh or soul searching. I am turning 69 years old this summer and just recently buried my 45 year old nephew due to covid-19. If he could leave the world at 45 who knows when it will be my turn..
I find myself analyzing my actions, words and deeds more carefully now, seeing if there is anything I need to correct or rectify.
Thank you for reading and have a wonderful shabbat!
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LoL, Tzvi Fastag! I think there are plenty of people who come and read these posts! I think a lot of people just do not post replies.
I agree with you about self-analysis. When I read first read Tanya about 6 or 7 years ago, I began nightly reviews of my days...my actions, words, deeds, intentions and not so good thoughts no one but G-d gets to see. I want to know where I utterly fail, what needs improvement and what approach to take to be better. Also, I look to see where I have done pretty well, too.
I was reading another thread and a person was said they can't sleep and beat themselves up about the day's failings until they correct them. I don't go so far. I sleep well, thank G-d. But I do criticize myself and determine to do better the next day (even though I never seem to succeed 100%).
Please accept my condolences about the death of your nephew. I hope you and your family find peace about it. It is a reminder that none of us is promised another moment of life.
Shalom
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Thank you for your reply.
Shalom uberacha!
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My four Jewish mothers are my mentors. And they are not even related biologically. I am truly blessed to have them. Reply
Good Morning!
Thank you.
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Mentors are sent from G d. My beloved mother always told me to always seek someone to help you get beyond the point you’re now at. I asked her what if there weren’t any people wanting to help me. She lovingly pointed out by saying to me, ‘my dear daughter wouldn’t your own mother or the Divine One help you, then why would you doubt that know one else would.’ It turned out to be true because throughout all my travels there has always been some special man or woman who always showed up to become my mentor. Reply
The Chabad site was, is and hope it will remain my mentor... until the coming of Moshiach. Perhaps it is wrong to speak, Rabbi Freeman, but my personal experience is that Chabad's writings have been the mentor who was in need. Reply
No mentors?!?!
I'm horrified at all the posts stating that there are no mentors out there! Where are all you guys from? Come to Israel, come to the right places!
If you would see the people I see! Real Chassidim! Who do nothing but give. Who are interested in the Rebbe and what he stands for! Who live for be sake of making the world a more G-dly place!! The endless lists of names I could give you!
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Mentors
That's nice! I live in Jerusalem and haven't been able to find a genuine mentor.
Send me a few names :)
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In Jerusalem, I'm not as familiar...David Stern...Avraham Hendel...Rabbi Vichnin (Wichnin?)
These are some English speakers that come to mind in Jerusalem, there are plenty more!
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Are you sure??
What if the person who I thought I'd the right mentor began to help me, and then began to turn me down, and in turning me down repeatedly (though not outwardly, merely avoiding me) I get offended? Should I continue to persist?
I know he's quite a Chassidus, he is my friend's mentor, and yet I'm not sure if I should persist or go the difficult route of finding someone else (after years of searching)
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You can not force things. We need to be open to the signs that Hashem sends us.
Do not ask Hashem to force things either. Just say, "Hashem, if this is the right person for me, then let it be and if not please lead me to the right person."
Sometimes 2 people do not click at a certain time and then meet again years later and when they re-meet
It does click.
It means that they are destined to be together but at a later time.
Hashem works in mysterious ways.
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so true! the Rebbe said that mashpios/im are so important, everyone must have one! Reply
None else besides the One Mentor (RE: 'Good Luck', John Smith)
In this time the ego has erupted to it's fullest. 99.99...% are immersed in self-interest at the expense of others. Locked within ourselves we are unable to connect above ourselves to another.
This is the "Last Generation" that Rabbi Ashlag (Baal HaSulam) mentions in the latter essay. Thus was his purpose in unlocking the Zohar for us - to help us climb in the darkness through 125 leve ls of purifying this selfish motive. Baal Hasulam tells us, once we are able to cross the barrier past the self, the Mentor works with you to bring us all to unity 'in one mind and one heart' and the revelation of G_dliness.
In this sublime, final state, everybody will care for everbody else and nobody needs to worry for himself.
Until then, 'Good Luck'! with your search at this level of our self-love!
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The true meaning of a mentor: An influential senior sponsor or supporter. Wise and trusted counselor and teacher. How ironic. Most wise and influential do not belief in G-d. They belief in themselves. Their influential ground have turn them confident in their schemes to convince majority of their so call "power" to manipulate others. Their wealth, they belief, is a proof to that. The not so wealthy teachers, their god is themselves, and what they can attain to maintain their status, as "good" teachers, but hate the minority for being ignorants, not their behavior. We are living in a world today in which very few have morals. The advance in science has been a great thing for the world. Its purpose is for the world to see what is coming, the Greatness of G-d! But the majority think that is their effort and wisdom that have brought this miracle to the world. How can one trust such a person? No G-d, no Wisdom. That is my belief. Hashem is in control. Blessed be He. The All Mighty. Reply
Good Luck
Good Luck with that one......if you find one please let me know....ASAP
PS it can't be someone who lives in a rain forest or in solitude at the top of a mountain. It needs to be someone who lives in a day to day reality of the true existence of earth, with people and money.
Keep me posted.
Thanks
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Light swircher
Like the previous " DD " expressed we all need help from light switchers/mentors we can get. There are many stories/levels/steps to climb, each level in darkness.
Other than that, not much has changed since November 25, 2010.
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Mentors When I was a little girl-I played with both hands for the very first time on the piano and right before my eyes I knew nothing could surpass a friend. And I don't mean a Towering Inferno-not someone to feed you either or change your diapers or bathe you which IS what life turned out to be for me-just alot of AIDS and nurses around me doin' stuff....but a friend...you see-that's real important in life and that's not what I got-just diaper changers-OK they don't literally change my diapers but you get what I mean.-but I do thank G-d for the responses I am getting from Chabad.org-and Thank you R Tzvi Freeman Reply
Mentor. Today with so ugly world is very hard find a good mentor. All of them which I known, they not try taking discussion regarding truth, but force you to take their's point of views with out any condition. Reply
It is so difficult to find a good mentor that I find it is better to rely on one's own instints and this is confirmed when I find that my judgement of certain situations agrees with what was previously discussed in the mishna/gemara. We should be flexible enough to accept that with changing times different answers are needed. Reply
Mentors That is true about mentors-they have mentors, and sometimes when their mentors die they lose confidence in their ability to help-also because they feel destroyed they start destroying their students-which is what happened to me with a mentor in Music-Did I ever reach out for a mentor in music again? No-but in other ways-of course-there is hope-I feel there is hope.-This is a beautiful thing to say about human nature-love and G-Dliness. Reply
yipes
With all respect,I don't buy this one. Insist and persist is most often met by desist. Know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. There are not all that many magnanimous talented mentors available out there. Naturally, they are already taken and thus constrained by time. There are a lot of yeshiva students available out there, but not too knowledgeable, or at least not as knowledgeable as they think. I am often asked by weak rabbis where i get my stuff. I tell them from the internet. They go quiet. The internet is not the be all and end all, but it certainly forces weak mentors to come to terms with their limitations. The internet cannot substitute for the better mentors, but it is a wise substitute for lesser lights. Thanks to the internet we have access to you. I have a couple live ones too on an informal basis. If there is one thing i know is true, when it comes to Judaism, i need all the help i can get. But it has to meet certain minimums.
Good Shabbos !
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IMO a good mentor is someone who can show you what IS in a way that you can see for yourself what is True and what is False, what is actual and what is imaginary.
Not someone who shows you reasonings and rules to believe if you want to be “saved”, metaphorically said. If you believe that the word ‘house’ is an actual house, or if words can spread ‘truth’ which you can “learn”, you haven’t even started with the most basic realizations. Everyone must "see for themselves". Don't believe that someone else's insight is right, find it for yourself.