The nature of a human being is to simply react, to throw back at others the medicine they mete out to you.
This is what Rava, the Babylonian Jewish sage, would advise: Ignore
the urge to return bad with bad, hurt with hurt, scorn with scorn
—and the heavenly court will ignore your scorning, your hurting, your acts that were less than good.
G‑d shadows man. Go beyond your nature with others and He will do the same with you.
unconscious joy thank you for that very important reminder - it will change my day because i'm going to change how i was going to act. and will try to continue!! Reply
I ordered the book as ebook on Amazon.com
I love your book & suggest others buy it too. You really bring Heaven Down To Earth in simple terms that are easy to understand.
I needed the book due to eye spasm problems. I just can't read on Shabbat & Yom Tov.
I just love the photos that you include in Daily Dose, & would be lovely to include some in a future 2nd book.
Thank you for helping me see the wisdom in the Rebbe's words that I wouldn't have been able to find on my own.
Also, I enjoyed reading your biography with your own spiritual quest & how you found that the Rebbe wasn't just like a cult leader as many tried to make him out to be, but he was a really amazing man full of such wisdom & compassion for all Jews. He lived what he spoke & wrote.
And, I've learned a lot about his wife the Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka from our rabbi's wife & during the gathering of the women shlichot. She epitomized what is often said about "behind every good man is a wonderful wife". She was the driving force behind him taking over as Rebbe.
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"Bringing Heaven Down to Earth" Thanks for the feedback... Amazon it is then. Reply
Re: "Bringing Heaven Down to Earth" - Not Availabl We're setting something up. For now, order from Amazon or ClearSpace. It's also available for Kindle and as an eBook. Reply
"Bringing Heaven Down to Earth" - Not Available Hey Rabbi Tzvi, I clicked on the link to order your book, "Bringing..." and the message said 'out of stock'. I guess I could check out Amazon.com, but would rather order through Chabad.org. Any suggestions? Reply
to anonymous on not reacting THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR COMMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it meant a lot to me that you responded to what i expressed, which was heartfelt. again, thank you for your kindness. i hope G-d blesses us all! Reply
valerie - june 24, 2012
I did not mean the glib remark against you. Your reaction is what i was hoping for. The remark was intended as something for others to think about because so many people are only happy at somebody else's circumstances/expense. I have read somewhere on how to be a better person : Don't blame . Don't complain. The author themselves were working at it trying hour by hour and then day by day to get better at it. I added to her message: Don't compare.
Don't blame. Don't complain. Don't compare. I think that you and Becky are probably far down that road. Mazel tov.
I am glad that you made your reply to my seemingly offensive comment. Your happiness and peace are pristine, You and Becky set excellent examples of thinking, speaking and doing mitzvot for the sake of the mitzot, no other reason. As you admitted it is hard to do, but to aspire to it is important. Just to have that mindset of working at it is so refreshing and noble.
Yasher koach !
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unreacting/ becky/ 'anonymous becky, you bet you and i are on the same page!!!!! and to anonymous -- without question, heartfelt peace could NEVER be at the expense of others - how did that ever come to mind???? never ever! probably if you could relate to what place becky and i were referring, (not that i know personally, BECKY),you would have known. it's a fantastic life-long learning experience, WITH a great faith in, and love for, G-d! Reply
This is Becky, Pittsburgh, PA
To Eugina, NY, your insights about not holding grudges is right on... Everyday I encourage myself by saying, "Today I'll keep my mouth shut. Today I will take it upon myself to live the mitzvah, "Love my fellow as myself," ". And then...
And Valerie, how refreshing to hear that someone else has to the courage and compassion to admit (with joy even?) that she has never fit in either... Can this be that you and I are two of many people who while they feel a sense of personal isolation at times, but are still determined to improve ourselves and relate to others with love? I, too, have felt and still feel that I don't 'fit in', yet that sacred loneliness has caused me to seek G-d's face and feel nourished in His care nonetheless.
And Anonymous, thank you for your observation of my unique micrososm of human behavior. It really is! Folks just let it all hang out there, and I'm their captive audience :-), as it were. On a positive note: what a learning opportunity!
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"Love my fellow as myself" OMG! Ain't that the truth! Reply
valerie
I take it that in your happiness, it is not at the expense of others.
You rule.
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human being and becky pa eugina, what you wrote is so targeted to what is very difficult and also something to aspire to (personally)!!! and becky, i've never fit in, never ever. it was not easy growing up, BUT....after all this time, have found that NOT fitting in is my personal bliss!!!!!!!!!!!!! following your heart and beliefs is definitely bliss! it's a personal thing of course. Reply
Human Being To treat one accordingly is not to treat one with medicine, Not to ever hurt your neighbor, but love thy neighbor and never to use your neighbor or put one another against another human being. This is a lesson for all to know and remember not to ever hold a grudge. In other words, let it go what a human being past has been and not to dig it up to throw back at them with dirt. Always be in the present with one G-d in all our relationships. Reply
Becky PA June 18, 2011
Your job gives you an amazing microcosm of human behaviour. What you see daily is how demented and insensitive so many people are. I don't know any other occupation where you would get to see this real deal.
You know how there are thousands of authors and theories and professors peddling assorted sure fire equations for positive thinking ? That shows you how endemic the problem is, and how intractable it is. On the other hand, there are military manuals on how to interrogate and break people down. It is a narrow range. They work almost 100 % of the time. Some examples : water boarding, sleep deprivation, starvation etc.
You know who reads books on positive thinking ? People who are more prone to it. Being prone does not mean they can change from how negative they are. You want to be happy ? Fit in. Whether corporate or religion, or other, your best chance for happiness is fitting in. Buy stuff. Think about it. Is fitting in real happiness, or an acceptable illusion.
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unreacting you said it, Yoni --- IT'S VERY difficult to follow, BUT...something to aspire to every day!! Reply
Not to return in kind...
Thank you, Rabbi Tzvi, for the timely daily comment. Recently lessons of this kind have been falling into my lap, as it were. I work with the public driving a city bus, and am daily, repeatedly, fending off verbal abuse, attacks and complaints. Hostility seems to ride along with me even off the job in the form of road ragers, odd neighbors misc. encounters, and also the constant negative dialogue within my own mind.
Reading and re-reading a chapter of Proverbs every day teaches me to SHUT MY MOUTH and not respond in kind in order to retain my dignity and learn a lesson.
Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed by feelings that maybe somehow I'm being divinely targetted for hostility, and does G-d know that it's too much for me? Your Daily Dose was like a direct answer to that question. So thanks, again.
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COOL
Sorry to be a bummer, but it doesn't explain the Holocaust. Of course, nothing does.
Sorry Rabbi- i just don't see any reality in this ideal, other than it fits you, but you are exceptional. This is not a gratuitous compliment. The message does not even apply to you. I have not seen you go beyond your nature. Many people have no need to. They are exceptions as well.
What do you expect of 99 % of the population that trusts and depends on authorities ? What i read into this Daily Dose is a call to arms. In this respect i do see where if people were to go beyond their norm, great things can be achieved. In interpersonal relationships and otherwise.
That commandment to do unto others is so elusive.
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Unreacting
I fail so often in this area ... assuming the worst about people and making judgements. I pray that I can assume only the good and not wish to react. Please help me Ha Shem!
Thank you for this post Tzvi!
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Unreacting
My dad always said to me, "consider the source and don't lower yourself to their standard" Worked all the time. I never reacted to their cruel way or cruel words. Try it for yourself, and see how G-d's presence confirms how pleased he is with our not attacking back with words or other actions. Bless HaShem!!
Oh, yes sometimes I am very tempted to lower myself to their standards, but bless G-d, he brings back my dad's words most, yes I said most, of the time. Isn't He wonderful to remind us to be like Him.
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Action and reaction For every bad action there is an equal and positive reaction.We should search for this reaction everyday.In the Torah there are 99 curses but 100 blessings.If 99 negates 99 there is nothing left but to find the one blessing everyday,thus making everyday a blessing. Reply
When forgiveness can encourage more evit; ie insincere "deeply sorries" Though for the most part, not to be reactive is the best way, still in cases of pathological bullying, and making a situation that is hard to function in, calls for another reaction.
One must often, just forgive the action at the time of the event, but wait till full forgiveness till a total change of attitude.
"Feel good" ignoring and forgiveness when there is destructive behavior, can in itself be far worse than the original behavior.