When you can give in, give in. And on those matters that you cannot concede—avoid making a major issue out of them. Be pliant in the wind like a reed, and not hard and brittle like a cedar.

When your spouse will see you are not interested in making battle, but return bullets with flowers, cannon fire with sweetness, slowly, slowly the warfare will let up and you’ll be able to sit and amicably work out the real issues.