Marriage is a microcosm of the soul’s descent into this world:
If you are here looking for what you can get out of this world, then the world and all its trappings will only drag you down.
But if you are looking for what you can give, then you, your part of the world, and your soul, all are uplifted and filled with light.
So too, when you enter a marriage:
Look for what you can give, and reap harmony and love.
To m, m Wonderful!! Thank you for sharing your faith in your marriage life. Reply
For Donna
Donna, every time I write or post one of these, I cringe a little thinking of what people such as yourself are going to feel. Keep in mind, however, that this thought, as well as all the thoughts in the Daily Dose, are based on talks and letters of the Rebbe, who himself never had children.
The Arizal, the great Kabbalist, spoke about souls that need to return to the world to fill in something left out in a previous life. Sometimes, their other half stays behind, not needed for this particular mission--at least, not needed here below.
Aside from this, at different times in a person's life, different things are required of her. At one time in life, the soul is fulfilled through nurturing children, at another, by providing wisdom, at another time by simply filling in the wisdom missed out at other stages in life.
Donna, may your soul find its purpose and meaning in every moment of your life here on earth.
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Marriage as microcosm I second the comment from Bill Krys, Edmonton, Canada. Well said, Bill. Thank you, Rabbi Freeman. Reply
Finding the one to marry If I could only find my bershert, Then maybe I would relate to and understand today's "Daily Dose." Reply
259 Marriage Rabbi: one of the issues I have with Orthodoxy is the assumption that unless one is in a marriage and able to bear children, one is non-existent. Elderly widows who live far from their children and grandchildren - where do they fit into your image of the perfect Jewish family? Reply
love It is far more easy to get along with Hashem then it is with another person. He is a warm loving G-D with the most beautiful light. Longing for that helps me in my marriage.After finding the delight of Hashem particularly in nature or in food I have the energy to work on a tough marriage for love. We both started out at odds with our family's of origin 35 years ago so have come a long way to turn this around. We had recreated a sibling codependeent relationship in love. Now we have three wonderful boys and are working to improve our understanding of life for the sake of the next generation. We recreate love from our dilemna, and for honor of our parents Life is work.Love is work. Hashem wanted me to love this man and help him through his life with his beginnings, a childhood of abuse from Religious Dad. Hashem wanted me to learn about Religion as I was raised by a man who lost his Religion in WW2. Restoring Faith has been my mission. Faith can create miracles with working and waiting. Reply
Marriage The last couple of days the devotion is about marriage and I just do not have much to say except the L-rd does talk about His relationship to us with that concept (or reality). So He just has to help me to have anything to say at all! Reply
Marriage as a Microcosm Thank you, once again, Rabbi. Then "your part of the world, and your soul, all are uplifted and filled with light" as you have given to me the realization that I can improve my relationship with my wife (and as a consequence, our family life) without putting the onus on her (my wife) to change. That is a very powerful, and empowering, message. Reply
There are different kinds of relationships Thank you deeply dear Mayim, for having real-ized your inborn Freedom, which for me is another word for Love. Reply
very very good comments also How do we make the difference though between ourselves and the one we love. Sharing is infinite, and can be refine. What is complete and whole. Do we need to learn about love before mariage. And what about experiencing before mariage. If we are honest with ourselves. Reply
Re: Julie. Quote on Love Yes, "You come to love by thinking about those things that awaken love. Love means to feel another as you feel yourself" is a quote from Rabbi Tzvi Freeman, though I don't know where he got it from. That is the answer he gave me when I asked him "And how does one come to love a person they do not love? And more to the point, to start with, what is "love?" " I like saving quotes too, and I also saved that one from Rabbi Freeman on love, and continue to ponder his statement. Maybe it is in one of his books of ideas from the Rebbe, Bringing Heaven Down to Earth, or Be Within, Stay Above. I read, but I forget. Reply
Great quote, Mayim. Thanks.
I love the quote about Love. Thanks for sharing, Mayim. Is that Rabbi Tzvi Freeman you attribute that to?
That is really great. i will write it down. Good quotes are good friends--always good to have on hand.
Best to you!
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There are different kinds of relationships Some relationship r productive, some destructive, some premature. 2 people may be psychologically & spiritually prepared at 30 while marrying before 30 would destroy both them & their children. Things need to be done at the right time, in the right way, with the right motivation. I wish my parents had never married, or not had children. Based my perception of marriage on their painful relationship for years. But then I began to meet different kinds of people & realize that some marriages really are OK, some people really are suited to marriage & probably there are men who do not hit for the fun of it. I'm pretty sure I know my soul mate. I've known him from the moment I laid eyes on him, but I'm not ready for marriage, and maybe I never will be & that is fine. Love does not require marriage, but a good marriage does require love. Love (according to R. Freeman) is "You come to love by thinking about those things that awaken love. Love means to feel another as you feel yourself." Reply
marriage harmony and love? after 23 years I was abandoned. Reply
259 Marriage
Very Beautiful!!!
Very well stated.
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Re:259.
I don't agree with your view people can be single and be happy as well, sometimes its better to be single then to be in a unhappy marriage. Like playing music the sheer joy form a perfect harmony, the chill at the back f the brain that goes down the spine.
For it seems that the article implies that marriage is the only way a person can be happy. This couple visited synagogue from Brooklyn N.Y., a couple of years ago and all husband was concerned about was how much he paid a matchmaker for her, I pity her she's a nice person. I always thouht that marriage was a equal partnership with equal love and repect.
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Look, what you can give...
Dear Rabbi Freeman,
it is really true, what you write.
The last sentence I have experienced for 38 wonderful years.Thank G-d!
But of course it would be true also without me experiencing it
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Marriage as Microcosm
Thank you...
I will think on this today.
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expanse of marriage
so in essence, marriage can be a link to another---or even a commitment between one and his/her world.
that is what i take from this.
it is beautiful.
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Marraiage as Microsom Rabbi Freeman,
I know your comment on 8-16-11 was written to Donna; however it fit my life so perfectly that I had to say thank you for the reminder that we are here for various purposes - thank you also for the lovely blessing "May your soul find its purpose and meaning in every moment of your life here on earth." (Yes, I removed her name so it would apply to me.)
In this case, I may have found more meaning in your words than those in the Daily Dose!