The importance of renewing and strengthening the bond with the Rebbe Rayatz

With regard to the conclusion of the recitation of Kaddish after eleven months, there are authorities who maintain that one should count from the day of the deceased’s burial (Levush, as cited by Elya Rabbah, sec. 132; Noam Megadim, by the author of the text Pri Megadim; Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 26:17; and Nahari Afarsimon, Yoreh Deah 97). Other authorities maintain that one should count from the day of the deceased’s death (Siddur Yaavetz, Dinei Kaddish, sec. 39; Mateh Efraim, Shaar 4, sec. 1; Shomer Tziyon HaNe’eman, p. 303, where he writes that this custom is universally observed throughout the Jews’ Diaspora; and see Yalkut Daas VeDin, p. 119).

The Alter Rebbe rules (the Alter Rebbe’s Shulchan Aruch, sec. 71:1) that Kaddish should be recited on the day of [the deceased’s] death even before the burial. My revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ, ruled that a yahrzeit should be observed on the day of the death even on the first anniversary [of the person’s passing]. According to some authorities in these matters, the ruling when the eleven months arecompleted is also dependent on the day of [the deceased’s] death.

It is well known that the Rebbe [Rashab] נ"ע regretted having added an extra day when reciting Kaddish over the course of eleven months.

I am more or less certain that my revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ, stopped reciting Kaddish for his mother נ"ע (who died on 13 Shvat and was buried on 15 Shvat) on Shabbos, the 11th of Teves.

There are authorities who maintain that [reciting Kaddish] on even one day in the twelfth month — according to our custom that Kaddish is recited for only eleven months — constitutes a disgrace [for the memory] of the departed, for it causes him to be considered as wicked, Heaven forbid.

Therefore, it appears to me that even a son, upon whom there rests a powerful obligation, should count from the day of death. In particular, this applies to a son-in-law and a student. On the surface, it is desirable that he lead the communal prayers because this does not represent a disgrace [for the memory of the departed], because [the congregation] will see that he does not recite Kaddish. In this manner, he will also fulfill [his obligation according to the first opinion], based on the ruling of Rama, [Yoreh Deah,] 374:[4]: “He should lead the services and this is more effective than [reciting] Kaddish.”

There is still room to question, for [a suggestion for] such a compromise is not found in the works of the later scholars. It is possible to explain that the rationale is that until [the person leading the services] reaches the place where Kaddish is recited, the deceased will be disgraced in the eyes of the people at large. This is easily understood. Here is not the place for further discussion [of this issue].

[These letters are acronyms for the Hebrew phrases that mean “May the memory of a tzaddik be a blessing for the life of the World to Come”; “His soul is in the hidden realms on high”; “May his merit protect us”; and “May I serve as an atonement for his resting place.”]

[Letter No. 851 above.]

[Lit., “the Garden of Eden,” popularly, “heaven,” the reward of the souls in the afterlife.]

[Purgatory.]

See the introduction to Kuntres Purim, 5700, [Letter No. 561, translated in I Will Write It In Their Hearts, Vol. V, p. 60].

On the surface, in a leap year, [which was not the case in 5710,] there is another ascent [for the soul] in between [the conclusion of the recitation of Kaddish and the yahrzeit] at the conclusion of the twelfth month, as indicated by our Sages’ comment (Shabbos 152b). [There our Sages speak of the soul being connected to the body for twelve months after death.]

See [Tanya,] Iggeres HaKodesh, Epistle 27 and its explanation; Siddur [Im Dach], the conclusion of Shaar Lag BaOmer.

[Pri Etz Chayim, Shaar Hanhagas HaLimud.]

[Bereishis Rabbah 14:9.]

See Berachos 3b and the maamar entitled Lefichach Nikre’u Shmam Sofrim, 5699.

[I.e., in addition to the daily portion of Tehillim recited as part of Chitas.]

[See Tanya, Iggeres HaKodesh, Epistle 3; Sefer HaSichos 5704, p. 161.]

My revered father-in-law, the Rebbe, הכ"מ, gave this directive to a mourner to carry out throughout the 12 months [of mourning. See Sefer HaSichos 5704, op. cit. The mourner to whom the Rebbe was referring is in fact his own self. He received these instructions from the Rebbe Rayatz after the passing of his ownfather Reb Levi Yitzchak Schneerson].

See Kuntres Yud-Tes Kislev, [Sefer HaMaamarim] 5711, p. 149. [The sichah printed there highlights the importance of studying Torah subjects by heart and includes the Alter Rebbe’s maamar entitled VeHadarta Pnei Zakein that focuses on this concept.]

[See Taanis 31a and Rashi’s commentary there.]