Despair is a cheap excuse for avoiding one’s purpose in life.
And a sense of purpose is the best way to avoid despair.
From the wisdom of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, of righteous memory; words and condensation by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. Subscribe and get your dose daily. To order Rabbi Freeman’s latest book, Wisdom to Heal the Earth, click here.
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ck
March 7, 2019
Perhaps, a bit too harsh in wording. Could be said a little bit differently. Reply
Eleanor Skibo
Pennsylvania, USA
March 6, 2019
Despair is despair any way you look or label it! This may sound harsh and hard hearted, but despair brings you down to the bottom of the well and you don’t float back up unless you get some guts to start finding a way back up. G d helps those who help themselves, yes there’re miracles that can’t be explained, but when push comes to shove either you move out of your easy chair and stop feeling sorry for yourself or stay there with your feet up and count all the excuses why you deserve to be seated with despair on your lap. Yes, there are mental and physical ailments that add to despair, but our options are still the same. Either we light some type of fire under our feet and start praying for G d’s help and guidance to show us the way to turn our situation around or we remain the same for an eternity. Then no matter what our plight or physical burden may be with some good positive thoughts our burdens will become much more easy to carry. Reply
El houcien
Taroudant
March 6, 2019
Hello Despair is a difficult adversary that we must fight with patience and calm and not thinking too much about things that have not been achieved
Reply
Brenda
Ontario, Canada
March 6, 2019
Hidden Purpose
We spend our lives chasing after empty purposes. The desire to fulfill ourselves with 'treasures' in this world. ….. until we discover despair of being satisfied after all our efforts to chase these elusive desires!
Then we are forced to confront the question: What am I living for??
This indicates that G_d has awakened that divine spark that was hidden within you.
This is a new desire that shifts you into a new direction: to leave that place you call your 'self' and move into His world.
This sounds ridiculously impossible!
until it will becomes evident that G_d has organized the world to open this new road for us.
He will enable computers and robots to perform many jobs.
Those desires that once fueled us will diminish.
He will arrange other crises to push us in a new direction.
Those who have the method to guide humanity to this higher purpose will be accountable to perform their task.
The works of the Ari, RASBI, and the inner meaning are revealed in our time for this new purpose.
Reply
Randie K
Stamford, CT
March 6, 2019
Yes, excellent advice. However, when someone becomes overcome with negative feelings, it's hard to think this - let alone believe it. There are times when it is very hard to have emunah. Reply
Wahwassuck Walkeen
July 19, 2018
You can't avoid despair but you don't have indulge in despair. Embrace it but don't live in despair. You move on. Reply
Adele
July 19, 2018
Perhaps everyone at one time or another feels despair for it is part of the human condition. When we experience that it feels awful....really awful. The point is that it does pass if we let it pass with time. I don’t see that analogous to purpose, however. Our purpose is permanent, despair is not. Reply
Bea
Western NY
July 19, 2018
Agreed but... Indeed, but we always must remember that some feel "despair" due to their body's health having been infiltrated with today's environmental toxins that they have ingested willingly through an unhealthy diet or without knowing in their water and food they purchase thinking it is safe to eat. Today, so many have a manufactured despair and today's despair/depression cannot always be cured with purpose only. My mom, who is a blessed memory, was a victim of chemical imbalance brought on by tainted, heavy metal well water from years of farming and pesticide use all around her home. She lost purpose through this illness and sadly never regained it. Even though she longed to get past it, her body would not let her free regardless of the therapy and the drugs. Yes, I agree with this post but some have been poisoned into despair there is still no cure for. Reply
Anonymous
Canada
July 19, 2018
Where can I find hope in despair in those dark nights of the Soul To read the Bible Is very liborating , Knowing that the greatest Leader Moses experienced despair.He said to G-d...if I have found favour in your eys kill me now Num. 11:11-15 .Its a good guideline not to get to that point. King David faced great darkness Psalm 22:2 My G-d my G-d why have you forsaken me. G-d send Moses help and gave him comfort himself. A prisoner can not release himself from prison. In times of great despair we need help, we can never be left alone. In reading Many great Jewish Leaders faced despair. Reply
Anonymous
W
March 5, 2013
money
Some Jews with money got out of Europe before the Holocaust.
Those Jews without money could not avoid the Holocaust.
Jewish families were ripped asunder.
Sometimes there is a time for hope. Sometimes there is no hope, only despair.
Picking an example from the Holocaust may be unfair. Many Rabbis perished in Russian Polish, Hungarian pogroms.
Despair does not only come from these death knells. We must recognize despair ans help those in despair. Not duck it like it is a fault. That only adds more despair. It doesn't matter who utters uninformed prescriptions, if they are wrong, call them out. Use your own seichel.
Reply
Chaya
March 5, 2013
But how do you find one's purpose? How do you go about that, finding your purpose? Reply
Anonymous
Western NY
July 19, 2018
in response to Chaya:
Purpose is as simple as being a child of the Word of G-d and His instruction. There is so much to learn: a 1000 years would not be enough to not only learn the instructions but to learn the reason for them would need many life times... or the Mashiach to come and show us the "why". Just you being you in study of the Word and writings of other thinkers is enough purpose and yet so many over look it or look past it for something more public and grand. Curling up with a good Jewish study book is the most glorious purpose of all. Reply
Orli Rachel
Harrison, GA
March 13, 2019
in response to Chaya:
How do you go about finding your purpose? By never quitting. By ever studying in Torah. By going deeper and deeper and understanding Hashem more and more. The closer you get to understanding Him, the closer you get to knowing the answer to your how to question. He directs our steps, right? Don't stop. Keep going. You will reach Him, you will understand and you will also reach the threshold of your purpose. When you do, serve that purpose. Once you find do, use the formula again and again. Never stop. He is boundless.
I believe you will find your "first" purpose because you have asked. May Hashem bless you, Chaya, for asking and may He grant you new light in understanding.
Reply
Brenda
Toronto, Canada
March 4, 2013
The Goal
Depending on the root of one's soul, each will be destined to experience trials and tribulations in this world. Therefore one has to look at the whole picture - what is the ultimate goal - achievements in this fleeting time of our focus in this material world or our ultimate goal to develop our soul for eternity?
Despair means that we are at the end of the line - nowhere to aim for. For those who search the true meaning of Life, the Books have been opened now to guide us to the real goal. It is not meant to be an easy road but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. In the words of the Kabbalist Baal HaSulam "I have laboured and found"
Reply
valerie
usa
March 4, 2013
despair as an excuse
love this forum!!!! not only is the topic intriguing, the comments add a whole new dimension!!!
personally, i can relate to the Rebbe's comment; but then again, total despair is an individual thing.? it's a known fact that having a "purpose" in life (possibly related to helping others), only helps our own healing. but....as someone said, if despair is continual and overwhelming, maybe professional help is in order to even get to the place of being able to focus on a purpose or others?
it's a horrible place to be - despair. praying helps unbelievably. even 'journaling' - writing deepest thoughts over time helps to ease despair and eventually focus on a greater purpose in life.
i believe G-d sends angels, too. and i pray we all see them!
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Mary-Allison
NC
March 4, 2013
Good morning, Rabbi Freeman:
What I love most about reading your posts every morning is that you do not tend to wax philosophical about life and religion. You give us the blessing of good, sound simple advice based on your thoughts in relation to G-d. I put it in my pocket and think about it all day. I love that I usually walk away with, "You know, I never thought about it like that and just makes good sense." Thank-you, Rabbi Freeman, you are a great teacher.
Have a joyful day!
Reply
Thomas Karp
New Haven, Ct.
November 5, 2010
The Rebbe's letters?
Did the Rebbe really respond to people in his letters this way, Rabbi Freeman?
Did he actually use the phrase 'cheap excuse' to those who wrote him in despair?
Somehow that doesn't quite sound like any of you Chabadniks, let alone the Rebbe.
It sounds more like a response from someone who has lost their patience with others to the point of being fed up.
As for a sense of purpose being the best way to avoid despair:
A sense of purpose very well maybe the best way to overcome despair; to find something constructive withiin yourself despite life's circumstances.
To say though that a sense of purpose is the best way to avoid despair strikes me as sort of like trying to say that acts of tzedekah are the best way to avoid the needy.
?
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Anonymous
W
November 3, 2010
yes but
there is are adages that should be pointed out. 1. Don't judge others until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
2. It's easier to talk the talk than walk the talk.
Reply
Anonymous
Arizona
March 7, 2019
in response to Anonymous:
Rabbi, depression and despair are symptoms of mental illness . Even
Religious Jews suffer in great numbers and the incidence of suicides are epidemic in Jewish communities as well as all people and all over the world. How could the Rebbe speak so poorly of people who need help? . They will see purpose with time and treatment and those around them to support them and not disparage them. Not “ cheap despair “. Very hurtful and nonproductive .
Reply
Judith L Witten
Brockton, MA/USA
November 3, 2010
Despair on Purpose What you write here is strongly evident in my behavior at least...I have a lot of Despair in my life and it shows on my face and in my posture. So to make up for it I have watercolor paintings half done and embroidery projects half done and all kinds of readings that I just want to do but as long as I am piling up the projects so that I don't face the grief I feel I won't get anything done! Reply
albert ross
hewlett, ny
November 3, 2010
despair on purpose You're right, having a purpose in life does not bring despair, and I feel like giving charity in life is my purpose. Reply
Verna Malka Black
Jerusalem, Israel
November 3, 2010
Despair
The statement made on this problem is extremely valuable to all humans. Especially in this cold and uncaring world these days.
Seniors are ignored and not respected, parents do not apologize to their children when they are at fault, babies are dropped off to day care at a very young age. That leaves you and me, I am a senior, busy volunteering daily, getting married again soon to a busy senior, enjoying life's pleasures, Go for it folks, do not stay behind and miss the chances of contributing something to this world.
Reply
In response to ck, ES and others: It’s not like I’m a stranger to despair and depression. If depression would come to me embodied, I would murder it on the spot. “If someone is coming to kill you, rise early from your bed and kill him first.”
There is no compassion in coddling a terrorist, no wisdom in patting disease on its head, and so, too, no kindness in shielding your depression from all insult and injury. If you feel helpless, if you believe you have no power other than the little capsules your doctor has prescribed, then you are its willing captive. You have joined ISIS in a war against your soul.
Take your medication, take whatever help anyone or anything will give you. But rely on nothing and nobody but yourself. Take charge of your life while you are still able. You are your only savior.
No doubt there are those so damaged that free will is taken from them, may the All-merciful have compassion and heal them. That is no excuse for the rest of us. We who stand at the edge of an abyss, we still have hope. But only if we can stare truth in the eyes and throw off the blindfold of crippling excuses.
Who comes up with these excuses? Who tells you that you’re hopeless, that it’s an illness only some doctor yet to be born can heal? None other than the depression itself. Your inner Pharaoh.
As for me, I will not be carried off by the current wave of censorship-masquerading-as-compassion to lay down arms, to refrain from speaking out in the harshest terms against a blood-sworn foe that destroys lives, families and dreams. I will warn every victim not to become an accomplice to his or her own murder.
Wake up and recognize the truth: You have power. It is in your hands. No more cheap excuses. You are better than that. You have purpose, divine purpose. You are a divine soul.
wow