By the Grace of G‑d
3rd or Cheshvan, 5721
Brooklyn, N. Y.

Blessing and Greeting

I received your letter of October 18th, with the enclosure.

In reply, I want to say at once that the situation seems to me much better than your brother-in-law described it, for the reasons for your younger daughter's condition are not at all. Complicated. The causes seem to lie in the fact that your daughter is subconsciously jealous of her older sister, and such a feeling manifests itself by a desire not to be interested in those activities where the person is unable to compete successfully. Therefore, your younger daughter shows little inclination to engage in the activities in which her older sister is more successful than she. However, since such is the attitude of jealousy, creating a subconscious feeling of guilt, one is prone to compensate for it by an outward show of attachment. That is why she flies to the defense of her sister if anyone should say anything disparaging against her. All this confirms my general view of her conduct. I trust that her therapist fully agrees with this diagnosis, for he knows her better than I.

At the same time this diagnosis suggests also the method of therapy, namely, that every effort should be made to restore her confidence by offering her opportunities to engage in such activities where she can take a leading part an excel herself. Needless to say this should be done in a gradual way, for, in her present state of mind she would be reluctant to undertake responsibilities all at once. But surely, both at school and in other cultural circles, there are opportunities for her to develop her artistic and other talents, It would be psychologically beneficial to her if these activities would be of a kind in which her sister does not participate. The choice or such activities is fairly wide, and they could be cultural, charitable, or youth work among Jewish youth, and the like.

You do not mention anything about her physical health, especially in regard to puberty. It often happens that where these aspects can be regulated and normalized, there is an immediate improvement in the state of mind, for the emotional life is closely linked with the physical.

Finally, and this is just as essential, the physical and mental life of the Jew is directly linked also with their spiritual life. I trust, therefore, that your daughter will make every effort to live up to the Jewish way of life, in accordance with the Torah, which 1s called the Law of Life, and the Mitzvoth whereby Jews live, since these are the channels and vessels to receive G‑d’s blessings. Needless to say, the parents themselves have to show a living example.

I would suggest that you have the Mezuzoth of your home checked, to make sure that they are Kosher, no doubt you also know of the good custom of Jewish women to put aside a small coin for Tzedoko before lighting the candles.

Hoping to hear good news from you,

With blessing