My wife claims that when I do the morning prayers along with the mitzvot of talit and tefillin, I seem to get lost in myself and become careless about her needs. Unfortunately, I am not aware of it or I would change it. One of my goals for this year was to become more observant, but if this is going to affect my marriage in a negative manner, maybe I should give the whole thing up.


You say that one of your goals this year is to be more observant. So, obviously, that doesn't only include talit, tefillin and prayers—it includes just as much your relationship with your fellow man. And woman. And that includes your wife and family. All you need to do is to keep a healthy balance within your observance and the ship sails just fine.

Which means that your wife needs to notice how much more attention you give her, how much more you watch out for her needs, physical and emotional, since this is what Torah demands of you—to treat your wife like a queen. When she sees that Torah observance is good for her, too, she'll encourage it even more.

I don't know whether you have kids, but the same goes for them as well.

Let me know if this helps,