Question:
My wife claims that when I do the morning prayers along with the mitzvot of talit and tefillin, I seem to get lost in myself and become careless about her needs. Unfortunately, I am not aware of it or I would change it. One of my goals for this year was to become more observant, but if this is going to affect my marriage in a negative manner, maybe I should give the whole thing up.
Response:
You say that one of your goals this year is to be more observant. So, obviously, that doesn't only include talit, tefillin and prayers—it includes just as much your relationship with your fellow man. And woman. And that includes your wife and family. All you need to do is to keep a healthy balance within your observance and the ship sails just fine.
Which means that your wife needs to notice how much more attention you give her, how much more you watch out for her needs, physical and emotional, since this is what Torah demands of you—to treat your wife like a queen. When she sees that Torah observance is good for her, too, she'll encourage it even more.
I don't know whether you have kids, but the same goes for them as well.
Let me know if this helps,
I think this answer leaves the question there. In other words, it is not an answer in the practical sense. I understand it, but from a woman's point of view, I would need more help in the marriage. First, this man who asked, I have to wonder what he does the rest of the time when he's not dovening. I also have to wonder how he and his wife wake up in the morning, and what they talk about. I wonder if he SHARED his wishes for his religious goals with his wife, or if he just sprung it on her unawares. How much communication goes on in the marriage? What is his attitude? Is it, "Me, big man, will do what I want and you can just go barefoot and fix my food in the kitchen, Woman."? I would answer that he explain to her how many minutes it will take, and negotiate with her he will give her something in return. Just name it. Make an appointment with your wife to give special attention to ONLY her. Whatever she wants. Something like that, I would suggest. What do you think? Again, this is from the point of view of the woman.