Generally speaking, we are obligated to settle our differences in a beth din, Jewish rabbinical court. If, and only if, the other party refuses to go, or if there is immediate and ongoing, irreparable financial loss or harm, may the plaintiff circumvent the beth din. But even in this latter situation, a dispensation must be obtained from a qualified beth din.

With regards to grievances against a parent, the halachic authorities have differing opinions whether filing a civil lawsuit against a parent — whether in the secular or rabbinical court system — is in violation of the commandments to honor and revere a father and mother.

I would advise you to speak to your rabbi about this matter. Perhaps he can find a way for this issue to be arbitrated or mediated without judicial adjudication. If this is not the case, he will certainly advise you how to proceed.

Rabbi Eliezer Danzinger for Chabad.org