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How and When to Judge Another: A Taste of Text—Shoftim
There is always some explanation, some justification, some perspective for another’s behavior. If you cannot see it, you are not fit to be a judge.
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Shoftim |
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Chana Weisberg is host of the Ordinary People, Extraordinary Stories podcast and curator of advanced learning experiences on Chabad.org. She lectures internationally on issues relating to women, relationships, meaning, self-esteem and the Jewish soul. She is the author of six books. Her latest book, Shabbat Delights, is a two-volume series on the weekly Torah portion.
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Hi Chana, thank you so much for the amazing class, it flew by! I hope you can answer my question, what if, your judgement of everyone and everything around falls to favour, meaning that while you can see the negative, you seem to lean towards or feel that their positives or reasons for being what they are, weigh greater, than the negative traits that they have, in a way that it actually might distort your vision..? I know that Torah always strives for truth and balance, yet, I can’t help but see all the good said person possesses or has done, and judge them that way. Since I am usually one of the few in doing so, they appreciate me, and befriend me, and then I feel an even greater positive pull towards them, in a way that, people who know me describe, creates a distorted circle; you judge others favour, because you really do see the goodness in them, and because of this, they befriend you, and are very nice to you, which pulls you even closer to them. My mother and sister say that this is very wrong, is that true? And if it is so, they say, that the only way to get out of this circle is, to judge them favourably only in your head, but, to mediate that with the rationale that anyone can change, and so long as their actions, the ways they live and conduct themselves, are not fixed properly, that judging them favourably visibly, should not occur. And neither should befriending them. But I’m confused....is it not so that only through befriending a person you see with potential, can you have an opportunity to bring it out of them? And if you see potential in everyone, is it really a danger to judge them all in favour?