Question:
I am in my thirties, a single male who has hopes of having a wife, a loving relationship and children. As I get older though, I hear more and more grumbling from men about how miserable and burdensome marriage is. When I ask men about marriage, a sigh of resignation comes over them, their eyes glaze, and they say, "It's hard work!" Half of the shul kiddush jokes are from male congregants about the burden of being married.
On the other hand, women always seem much more upbeat about marriage. Do they really know what their husbands are experiencing. Is it really such a grind?
Answer:
Here's my advice: Google marriage and longevity. You'll find many fascinating studies. It turns out that, for a man, being married is a more significant factor in health and longevity than income—so significant, that it outweighs the negative factor of smoking.
Yes, everyone loves to kvetch. It's the nature of man to never be satisfied. And even the best of marriages is not heaven. But take a look at the confusion and dullness that strikes any of those men when their wife leaves town for a few days.
Trust the Torah: "It is not good that a man be alone." The game of life is full of risks. If you don't want to take the risks, why bother with the game?
Marriage can be a nightmare. In my case, my wife nags me everyday, calls me a loser, and has nothing to do with my family. The only reason I stay with her is our son. I came from a broken home and I don't want him to grow up in a broken home. So I completely sympathize with men who complain about bad marriages.
Trust me my parents got a divorce and it was by far the best thing for the family. Somtimes the best thing to do is not stay together for the kids. My mother finally found her true love a nice jewish man and my father did as well. Wouldn't have happend if they stayed together for the kids.