The Laws of Personality Developmentהִלְכוֹת דֵּעוֹת
Included in this text are eleven mitzvot: five positive commandments and six negative commandments: They comprise the following:יֵשׁ בִּכְלָלָן אַחַת עֶשְׂרֵה מִצְווֹת, חָמֵשׁ מִצְוֹת עֲשֵׂה, וְשֵׁשׁ מִצְוֹת לֹא תַעֲשֶׂה. וְזֶהוּ פְּרָטָן:
a) to imitate His ways;(א) לְהִדַּמּוֹת בִּדְרָכָיו.
b) to cling to those who know Him;(ב) לְהִדַּבֵּק בְּיוֹדְעָיו.
c) to love others;1(ג) לֶאֱהֹב אֶת רֵעִים.
d) to love converts;(ד) לֶאֱהֹב אֶת הַגֵּרִים.
e) not to hate one’s fellow Jews;(ה) שֶׁלֹּא לִשְׂנֹא אַחִים.
f) to admonish a wrongdoer;(ו) לְהוֹכִיחַ.
g) not to shame;(ז) שֶׁלֹּא לְהַלְבִּין פָּנִים.
h) not to oppress the unfortunate;(ח) שֶׁלֹּא לְעַנּוֹת אֻמְלָלִים.
i) not to gossip;(ט) שֶׁלֹּא לַהֲלֹךְ רָכִיל.
j) not to take revenge;(י) שֶׁלֹּא לִנְקֹם.
k) not to bear a grudge.(יא) שֶׁלֹּא לִנְטֹר.
These mitzvot are explained in the following chapters.וּבֵאוּר מִצְוֹת אֵלּוּ בִּפְרָקִים אֵלּוּ.
1Each and every man possesses many character traits. Each trait is very different and distant from the others.2אדֵּעוֹת הַרְבֵּה יֵשׁ לְכָל אֶחָד וְאֶחָד מִבְּנֵי אָדָם, וְזוֹ מְשֻׁנָּה מִזּוֹ וּרְחוֹקָה מִמֶּנָּה בְּיוֹתֵר.
One type of man is wrathful; he is constantly angry. In contrast, there is the calm individual who is never moved to anger,3 or, if at all, he will be slightly angry, perhaps once during a period of several years.יֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל חֵמָה, כּוֹעֵס תָּמִיד; וְיֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁדַּעְתּוֹ מְיֻשֶּׁבֶת עָלָיו וְאֵינוֹ כוֹעֵס כְּלָל, וְאִם יִכְעַס - יִכְעַס כַּעַס מְעַט בְּכַמָּה שָׁנִים.
There is the prideful man and the one who is exceptionally humble.4 There is the man ruled by his appetites — he will never be satisfied from pursuing his desires,5 and conversely, the very pure of heart, who does not desire even the little that the body needs.6וְיֵשׁ אָדָם שֶׁהוּא גְבַהּ לֵב בְּיוֹתֵר, וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא שְׁפַל רוּחַ בְּיוֹתֵר. וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל תַּאֲוָה, לֹא תִשְׂבַּע נַפְשׁוֹ מֵהֲלֹךְ בְּתַאֲוָה, וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא בַּעַל לֵב טָהוֹר מְאֹד, וְלֹא יִתְאַוֶּה אֲפִלּוּ לִדְבָרִים מְעַטִּים שֶׁהַגּוּף צָרִיךְ לָהֶן.
There is the greedy man, who cannot be satisfied7 with all the money in the world, as Ecclesiastes 5:9 states: “A lover of money never has his fill of money.”8 In contrast, there is the man who puts a check on himself;9 he is satisfied with even a little, which is not enough for his needs, and he does not bother to pursue and attain what he lacks.10וְיֵשׁ בַּעַל נֶפֶשׁ רְחָבָה שֶׁלֹּא תִשְׂבַּע נַפְשׁוֹ מִכָּל מָמוֹן הָעוֹלָם, כָּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "אֹהֵב כֶּסֶף לֹא יִשְׂבַּע כֶּסֶף"; וְיֵשׁ מְקַצֵּר נַפְשׁוֹ, שֶׁדַּיּוֹ אֲפִלּוּ דָּבָר מְעַט שֶׁלֹּא יַסְפִּיק לוֹ וְלֹא יִרְדֹּף לְהַשִּׂיג כָּל צָרְכּוֹ.
There is the miser,11 who torments himself with hunger, gathering his possessions close to himself.12 Whenever he spends a penny of his own, he does so with great pain. Conversely, there is the spendthrift, who consciously wastes his entire fortune.13וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא מְסַגֵּף עַצְמוֹ בְּרָעָב וְקוֹבֵץ עַל יָדוֹ וְאֵינוֹ אוֹכֵל פְּרוּטָה מִשֶּׁלּוֹ אֶלָּא בְצַעַר גָּדוֹל; וְיֵשׁ שֶׁהוּא מְאַבֵּד כָּל מָמוֹנוֹ בְּיָדוֹ לְדַעְתּוֹ.
All other traits follow the same pattern of contrast. For example: the overly elated and the depressed;14 the stingy and the freehanded;15 the cruel and the softhearted; the coward and the rash and the like.16וְעַל דְּרָכִים אֵלּוּ שְׁאָר כָּל הַדֵּעוֹת כְּגוֹן: מֵהוֹלֵל וְאוֹנֵן, וְכִילַי וְשׁוֹעַ, וְאַכְזָרִי וְרַחֲמָן, וְרַךְ לֵבָב וְאַמִּיץ לֵב וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָהֶן.
2Between each trait and the contrasting trait at the other extreme, there are intermediate points, each distant from the other.17בוְיֵשׁ בֵּין כָּל דֵּעָה וְדֵעָה הָרְחוֹקָה מִמֶּנָּה בְּקָצֶה הָאַחֵר דֵּעוֹת בֵּינוֹנִיּוֹת, זוֹ רְחוֹקָה מִזּוֹ.
With regard to all the traits: a man has some from the beginning of his conception,18 in accordance with his bodily nature.19 Some are appropriate to a person’s nature and will therefore be acquired more easily than other traits.20 Some traits he does not have from birth. He may have learned them from others,21 or turned to them on his own.22 This may have come as a result of his own thoughts,23 or because he heard that this was a proper trait for him, which he ought to attain.24 Therefore, he accustomed himself to it until it became a part of himself.25וְכָל הַדֵּעוֹת - יֵשׁ מֵהֶן דֵּעוֹת שֶׁהֵן לָאָדָם מִתְּחִלַּת בְּרִיָּתוֹ לְפִי טֶבַע גּוּפוֹ, וְיֵשׁ מֵהֶן דֵּעוֹת שֶׁטִּבְעוֹ שֶׁל אָדָם זֶה מְכֻוָּן וְעָתִיד לְקַבֵּל אוֹתָן בִּמְהֵרָה יוֹתֵר מִשְּׁאָר הַדֵּעוֹת; וְיֵשׁ מֵהֶן שֶׁאֵינָן לָאָדָם מִתְּחִלַּת בְּרִיָּתוֹ, אֶלָּא לָמַד אוֹתָם מֵאֲחֵרִים, אוֹ שֶׁנִּפְנָה לָהֶן מֵעַצְמוֹ לְפִי מַחֲשָׁבָה שֶׁעָלְתָה בְלִבּוֹ, אוֹ שֶׁשָּׁמַע שֶׁזּוֹ הַדֵּעָה טוֹבָה לוֹ וּבָהּ רָאוּי לֵילֵךְ וְהִנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ בָּהּ עַד שֶׁנִּקְבְּעָה בְלִבּוֹ.
3The two extremes of each trait, which are at a distance from one another, do not reflect a proper path.26 It is not fitting27 that a man should behave in accordance with these extremes28 or teach them to himself.29גשְׁתֵּי קְצָווֹת הָרְחוֹקוֹת זוֹ מִזּוֹ שֶׁבְּכָל דֵּעָה וְדֵעָה - אֵינָן דֶּרֶךְ טוֹבָה וְאֵין רָאוּי לוֹ לָאָדָם לָלֶכֶת בָּהֶן וְלֹא לְלַמְּדָן לְעַצְמוֹ.
If he finds that his nature leans towards one of the extremes30 or adapts itself easily to it,31 or, if he has learned one of the extremes32 and acts accordingly, he should bring himself back to what is proper33 and walk in the path of the good men.34 This is the straight path.35וְאִם מָצָא טִבְעוֹ נוֹטֶה לְאַחַת מֵהֶן אוֹ מוּכָן לְאַחַת מֵהֶן, אוֹ שֶׁכְּבָר לָמַד אַחַת מֵהֶן וְנִהֵג בָּהּ - יַחְזִיר עַצְמוֹ לְמוּטָב וְיֵלֵךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ הַטּוֹבִים, וְהִיא הַדֶּרֶךְ הַיְּשָׁרָה.
4The straight path:36 This involves discovering the midpoint temperament of each and every trait that man possesses within his personality.37 This refers to the trait which is equidistant from either of the extremes, without being close to either of them.38דהַדֶּרֶךְ הַיְּשָׁרָה - הִיא מִדָּה בֵינוֹנִית שֶׁבְּכָל דֵּעָה וְדֵעָה מִכָּל הַדֵּעוֹת שֶׁיֵּשׁ לוֹ לָאָדָם, וְהִיא הַדֵּעָה שֶׁהִיא רְחוֹקָה מִשְּׁנֵי הַקְּצָווֹת רִחוּק שָׁוֶה וְאֵינָהּ קְרוֹבָה לֹא לְזוֹ וְלֹא לְזוֹ.
Therefore, the early Sages instructed a man to evaluate his traits,39 to calculate them and to direct them along the middle path,40 so that he will be sound {of body}.41 For example: he should not be wrathful, easily angered; nor be like the dead, without feeling, rather he should adopt an intermediate course; i.e., he should display anger42 only when the matter is serious enough to warrant it,43 in order to prevent the matter from recurring. Similarly, he should not desire44 anything other than that which the body needs and cannot exist without, as Proverbs 13:25 states:45 “The righteous man eats to satisfy his soul.”46לְפִיכָךְ צִוּוּ חֲכָמִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים שֶׁיְּהֵא אָדָם שָׁם דֵּעוֹתָיו תָּמִיד, וּמְשַׁעֵר אוֹתָם וּמְכַוֵּן אוֹתָם בַּדֶּרֶךְ הָאֶמְצָעִית, כְּדֵי שֶׁיְּהֵא שָׁלֵם בְּגוּפוֹ. כֵּיצַד? לֹא יְהֵא בַּעַל חֵמָה נוֹחַ לִכְעֹס, וְלֹא כְמֵת שֶׁאֵינוֹ מַרְגִּישׁ, אֶלָּא - בֵינוֹנִי: לֹא יִכְעֹס אֶלָּא עַל דָּבָר גָּדוֹל שֶׁרָאוּי לִכְעֹס עָלָיו, כְּדֵי שֶׁלֹּא יֵעָשֶׂה כַּיּוֹצֵא בוֹ פַּעַם אַחֶרֶת. וְכֵן לֹא יִתְאַוֶּה אֶלָּא לִדְבָרִים שֶׁהַגּוּף צָרִיךְ לָהֶן וְאִי אֶפְשָׁר בְּזוּלָתָן, כָּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "צַדִּיק אֹכֵל לְשֹבַע נַפְשׁוֹ".
Also, he shall not labor in his business except to gain what he needs for immediate use, as Psalms 37:16 states:47 “A little is good for the righteous man.”48 He should not be overly stingy49 nor spread his money about, but he should give charity according to his capacity50 and lend to the needy as is fitting.51 He should not be overly elated and laugh excessively,52 nor be sad and depressed in spirit. Rather, he should be quietly happy at all times,53 with a friendly countenance.54 The same applies with regard to his other traits.55וְכֵן לֹא יִהְיֶה עָמֵל בְּעִסְקוֹ אֶלָּא לְהַשִּׂיג דָּבָר שֶׁצָּרִיךְ לוֹ לְחַיֵּי שָׁעָה, כָּעִנְיָן שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר "טוֹב מְעַט לַצַּדִּיק". וְלֹא יִקְפֹּץ יָדוֹ בְּיוֹתֵר, וְלֹא יְפַזֵּר מָמוֹנוֹ; אֶלָּא נוֹתֵן צְדָקָה כְּפִי מִסַּת יָדוֹ וּמַלְוֶה כָרָאוּי לְמִי שֶׁצָּרִיךְ. וְלֹא יְהֵא מְהוֹלֵל וְשׁוֹחֵק, וְלֹא עָצֵב וְאוֹנֵן אֶלָּא שָׂמֵחַ כָּל יָמָיו בְּנַחַת, בְּסֵבֶר פָּנִים יָפוֹת. וְכֵן שְׁאָר דֵּעוֹתָיו.
This path is the path of the wise.56 Every man whose traits are intermediate and equally balanced can be called a “wise man.”57וְדֶרֶךְ זוֹ - הִיא דֶּרֶךְ הַחֲכָמִים. כָּל אָדָם שֶׁדֵּעוֹתָיו דֵּעוֹת בֵּינוֹנִיּוֹת מְמֻצָּעוֹת - נִקְרָא חָכָם.
5A person who carefully examines his behavior,58 and therefore deviates slightly from the mean59 to either side is called pious.60הוּמִי שֶׁהוּא מְדַקְדֵּק עַל עַצְמוֹ בְּיוֹתֵר וְיִתְרַחֵק מִדֵּעָה בֵינוֹנִית מְעַט לְצַד זֶה אוֹ לְצַד זֶה - נִקְרָא חָסִיד.
What is implied?61 One who shuns pride62 and turns to the other extreme63 and carries himself lowly is called pious. This is the quality of piety.64 However, if he separates himself from pride only to the extent that he reaches the mean and displays humility, he is called wise. This is the quality of wisdom.65 The same applies with regard to other character traits.66כֵּיצַד? מִי שֶׁיִּתְרַחֵק מִגֹּבַהּ הַלֵּב עַד הַקָּצֶה הָאַחֲרוֹן וְיִהְיֶה שְׁפַל רוּחַ בְּיוֹתֵר, נִקְרָא חָסִיד - וְזוֹ הִיא מִדַּת חֲסִידוּת. וְאִם נִתְרַחֵק עַד הָאֶמְצַע בִּלְבַד וְיִהְיֶה עָנָו, נִקְרָא חָכָם - וְזוֹ הִיא מִדַּת חָכְמָה. וְעַל דֶּרֶךְ זוֹ שְׁאָר כָּל הַדֵּעוֹת.
The pious of the early generations67 would bend their temperaments from the intermediate path towards either of the two extremes. For some traits they would veer towards the final extreme,68 for others, towards the first extreme.69 This is referred to70 as behavior beyond the measure of the law.71וַחֲסִידִים הָרִאשׁוֹנִים הָיוּ מַטִּין דֵּעוֹת שֶׁלָּהֶן מִדֶּרֶךְ הָאֶמְצָעִית כְּנֶגֶד שְׁתֵּי הַקְּצָווֹת, יֵשׁ דֵּעָה שֶׁמַּטִּין אוֹתָהּ כְּנֶגֶד הַקָּצֶה הָאַחֲרוֹן, וְיֵשׁ דֵּעָה שֶׁמַּטִּין אוֹתָהּ כְּנֶגֶד הַקָּצֶה הָרִאשׁוֹן - וְזֶהוּ לִפְנִים מִשּׁוּרַת הַדִּין.
We are commanded72 to walk in these intermediate paths73 — and they are good and straight paths — as Deuteronomy 28:9 states: “And you shall walk in His ways.”74וּמְצֻוִּין אָנוּ לָלֶכֶת בַּדְּרָכִים הָאֵלּוּ הַבֵּינוֹנִים, וְהֵם הַדְּרָכִים הַטּוֹבִים וְהַיְּשָׁרִים, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "וְהָלַכְתָּ בִּדְרָכָיו".
6Our Sages taught the following explanation of this mitzvah:75 Just as He is called “Gracious,” you shall be gracious; Just as He is called “Merciful,” you shall be merciful; Just as He is called “Holy,” you shall be holy.76וכָּךְ לִמְּדוּ בְּפֵרוּשׁ מִצְוָה זוֹ: 'מַה הוּא נִקְרָא חַנּוּן - אַף אַתָּה הֱיֵה חַנּוּן; מַה הוּא נִקְרָא רַחוּם - אַף אַתָּה הֱיֵה רַחוּם.; מַה הוּא נִקְרָא קָדוֹשׁ - אַף אַתָּה הֱיֵה קָדוֹשׁ'.
In a similar manner, the prophets77 called God by other titles: “Slow to anger,” “Abundant in kindness,” “Righteous,” “Just,” “Perfect,” “Almighty,” “Powerful,” and the like.78 They did so to inform us that these are good and just paths.79 A person is obligated to accustom himself to these paths and to try to resemble Him80 to the extent of his ability.81וְעַל דֶּרֶךְ זוֹ קָרְאוּ הַנְּבִיאִים לָאֵל בְּכָל אוֹתָן הַכִּנּוּיִין אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם, וְרַב חֶסֶד, צַדִּיק וְיָשָׁר, תָּמִים גִּבּוֹר וְחָזָק וְכַיּוֹצֵא בָהֶן, לְהוֹדִיעַ שֶׁהֵן דְּרָכִים טוֹבִים וִישָׁרִים, וְחַיָּב אָדָם לְהַנְהִיג עַצְמוֹ בָהֶן וּלְהִדַּמּוֹת אֵלָיו כְּפִי כֹחוֹ.
7How can one train himself to follow these temperaments to the extent that they become a permanent fixture of his personality?82 He should perform — repeat — and perform a third time83 — the acts which conform to84 the standards of the middle road temperaments.85 He should do this constantly, until these acts are easy for him and do not present any difficulty.86 Then, these temperaments will become a fixed part of his personality.87זוְכֵיצַד יַרְגִּיל אָדָם עַצְמוֹ בְּדֵעוֹת אֵלּוּ עַד שֶׁיִּקָּבְעוּ בוֹ? יַעֲשֶׂה וְיִשְׁנֶה וִישַׁלֵּשׁ בַּמַּעֲשִׂים שֶׁעוֹשֶׂה עַל פִּי הַדֵּעוֹת הָאֶמְצָעִיּוֹת וְיַחְזֹר בָּהֶם תָּמִיד, עַד שֶׁיִּהְיוּ מַעֲשֵׂיהֶם קַלִּים עָלָיו וְלֹא יִהְיֶה בָהֶם טֹרַח עָלָיו, וְיִקָּבְעוּ הַדֵּעוֹת בְּנַפְשׁוֹ.
Since the Creator88 is called by these terms and they make up the middle path which we are obligated to follow, this path is called “the path of God.”89 This is the heritage which our Patriarch Abraham taught his descendants,90 as Genesis 18:19 states: “for I have known Him so that he will command his descendants... to keep the path of God.”91וּלְפִי שֶׁהַשֵּׁמוֹת הָאֵלּוּ נִקְרָא בָהֶן הַיּוֹצֵר הֵם הַדֶּרֶךְ הַבֵּינוֹנִית שֶׁאָנוּ חַיָּבִין לָלֶכֶת בָּהּ - נִקְרֵאת דֶּרֶךְ זוֹ דֶּרֶךְ ה'; וְהִיא שֶׁלִּמֵּד אַבְרָהָם אָבִינוּ לְבָנָיו, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה וְגוֹ'".
One who follows this path brings benefit and blessing to himself, as the above verse continues: “so that God will bring about for Abraham all that He promised.”92וְהַהוֹלֵךְ בְּדֶרֶךְ זוֹ מֵבִיא טוֹבָה וּבְרָכָה לְעַצְמוֹ, שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: "לְמַעַן הָבִיא יְיָ עַל אַבְרָהָם אֵת אֲשֶׁר דִּבֵּר עָלָיו".