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Why Do Rabbis Discourage Conversions?

Why Do Rabbis Discourage Conversions?



I am a bit confused. I have many Jewish friends, but they are mostly indifferent, and sometimes even hostile, towards their own religion. I myself am not Jewish, but I have studied Judaism and love it, and am very excited about converting.

My confusion is this: when I went to speak to a rabbi about conversion, he discouraged me from converting, saying that it is more serious than I think, and that I can live a fulfilled life without becoming Jewish. I told him how excited I am about Judaism, but he still pushed me away.

What is going on? I am thirsty for Judaism and I am pushed away, while so many Jews are not even open to learning more about their own religion!


There is a Jewish belief that Judaism is not just good for the Jewish soul, it’s natural for the Jewish soul. The soul feels at home when it says Hebrew prayers, experiences a Shabbat table, or puts up a mezuzah. These acts are what makes the Jewish soul comfortable. A Jew has an innate affinity towards Judaism.

So, why do so many Jews not seem interested in their religion? Because there is another Jewish belief that every energy has a counter-energy. If the Jewish soul is attracted to Judaism, there must be an equal and opposite force that drives the Jew away from Judaism. Materialism, cynicism, laziness, apathy—all these, and more, conspire to drive the Jew away from connecting to his or her Jewishness. In fact, the more powerful the Jewish soul, the more intense this resistance will be.

And it must be this way. Otherwise the spiritual life would be too easy—a Jewish soul would just naturally fall into Judaism. And G‑d wants us to be challenged. When Jews engage in Judaism, they are taking upon themselves the lifelong challenge to overcome these internal obstacles and find their deeper self.

When a non-Jew approaches Judaism, it is a whole different story. He or she has no “baggage,” and is open to what Judaism has to say. He may be attracted, he may not be—but he doesn’t have the emotional resistance that a Jew does. This is why many non-Jews come to respect Judaism when they actually study it. They are coming with an open heart, unlike the Jew, who has an automatic resistance to anything Jewish.

This is fine—until the non-Jew considers conversion. She may feel that Judaism has a depth and warmth that she seeks; she may feel good going to synagogue and celebrating festivals; and this may lead her to think that it would be so easy to just become Jewish and make it her spiritual home. But there is one factor that she’s not aware of.

Now it all seems so nice and comfortable, because you’re just visiting. It's not yours yet, so you can look at it objectively and just enjoy it for what it is, without any resistance. But the minute you become Jewish, everything changes. Conversion means that not only do you receive the Jewish soul, but you also receive the Jewish baggage that weighs you down and tries to hold you back from being an active Jew (again, in order to retain balance and give you a challenge).

This is one reason why we push away converts. We set obstacles in their way so they can taste what it’s really like to be Jewish. So that it should be clear from the outset that a Jewish life is not an easy one. There will always be obstacles. The only difference is, before conversion the obstacles are from without—stubborn rabbis who tell you, “Don’t bother with Judaism.” After converting, those same rabbis will welcome you with open arms, and there will still be a voice telling you not to bother—but then it will be a voice from within you.

If you can overcome the resistance set up by the rabbis, then you have a good chance of being able to overcome the inner resistance that is the struggle of every Jew.

Aron Moss is rabbi of the Nefesh Community in Sydney, Australia, and is a frequent contributor to
Artwork by Sarah Kranz.
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Discussion (308)
November 6, 2016
So, Guillermo, this man has suffered pogroms. That means that non-Jews have murdered his friends and relatives. And this has made him dubious about the motives of non-Jews, even about sincere people such as you.

And because of that, you think it is a good idea to murder Jews?

That is an amazing response. One insult from one Jew and you decide that all Jews should be murdered?

It sounds as if you do not like Jews.

It is not enough to love Torah. To be a Jew, you need to love Jews. You certainly cannot be a Jew if you dislike Jews, much less if you think Jews should be murdered in pogroms.

What did you say to him that revealed your true feelings about Jews?
October 30, 2016
Guillermo, that is pretty harsh. I can understand your feeling perturbed at the Rabbi's response but his response is not a justification for progroms. It is the opposite, in fact: progroms, and centuries of persecution are WHY the rabbi chose such discouraging words. It is not easy to be a Jew.
Myrna Solganick
October 27, 2016
Rabbis arrogance
I am of spanish roots and all my life in study if judaism my son and me when he became 19 years old we finally decide to join Judaism and hebrew people... We always supported economically Israeli organizations ; in the day we were ready the rabby asked my son question after question , everything about Judaism , history , hebrew, Torah we pass all the questions he was amased, but said " how is that a goyim wants to become Jew and immigrate to Israel , economical interest?, why at this age better go back with your people," of course his words were more degrading then the short phrase I wrote here, in me being upset , I told him I love torah I love HaShem and israeli people, but I couldn't stand in front of a man that said to represent Him that way... That's no Judaism that's no Torah .. If that was his attitude and the lack of respect for non jewish people who love them and that was the same attitude they had in Germany and Spain and France and other countries, now I understand progroms
July 20, 2016
Barbara, Craig and Phillip - re: Pilate
we also don't really know how much of that passage in the christian bible was written after Constantine's decree. I've always felt the so called "trial" and the events leading up to is it written in a very theatrical fashion but it is dogma and so we were not supposed to question it.
April 6, 2016
Barbara and Craig
It seems to me, Craig, that Barbara is saying that crucifixion is a Roman (not a Jewish) method of execution.

Permit me to add that Pilate, in particular, had hundreds of Jews crucified. He loved looking out his window at them hanging on crosses. He was cruel and sadistic and was eventually recalled by the Romans because he exceeded even the cruel standards of the Romans.

Pilate is depicted in one or more gospels as being reluctant to crucify Jesus. This scene fails to accord with what is known as Pilate's typical behavior. He would have been glad for an excuse to crucify yet another Jew. Crucifixion was even more typical for Pilate than for Rome in general.

Thus, contrary to the literal sense of at least one gospel, Pilate is the one to be blamed for the crucifixion of Jesus.
April 5, 2016
Re: Barbara - Commonality of “Brutal Execution” in Rome
At the time Jesus possibly lived, there were so many crucifixions that Rome’s Government complained about it. Rome was crucifying so many taxpayers to death that they were losing tax revenue!
Why make Jesus’ death by capital punishment seem special by the Roman standard?
Craig Hamilton
Sandwich, MA
April 3, 2016
AAron, thank you. Anonymous Chabad convert - Why do you say that without your Chabad sponsors you would not have managed to convert?

Over the last few weeks after these discussions, one question in the forefront of my mind was "Can I become Jewish, and still be Scottish?" It seemed that I felt desperate to retain at least some thread of my previous identity.

And that question was answered this week, when the first Jewish tartan was minted in Scotland. What are the chances of this even happening, let alone happening just at the time I'm wondering if this is possible? There have been so many signs, and this one feels almost decisive.

I think if and perhaps even when I go through with this, I will really feel like it's coming home.
March 29, 2016
I used to be approached by Xians trying to
them that there are many paths to the truth.
But I saw that they thought I was trying to wiggle out of their "real" truth. I told the next one that I really think that Jewish truth is the truest truth.

He did not like it, even though I said "Gd loves you." He never spoke to me or even looked at me, ever again, though we worked in the same office.

Nobody, ever again, tried to "save" me into becoming a Christian. When "Jews for Jesus" knocked on every door with a mezuzah, I answered the door & they backed away from me. I told them a reason to disbelieve in their message. When they "explained" it, I refuted their explanation. Now they walked away. I walked down the driveway after them. They ran away.

A Jew needs to know One thing: Gd came down to us as we stood at Sinai. Gd gave us the Torah. We promised to be faithful to One Gd without any intermediary. Gd never said to change the covenant so we remain faithful.

Anyone who really wants to, can join that Covenant. Welcome Home!
March 29, 2016
At Annonymous Ottowa
I converted and consideer myself Chabad. I follow their minchagim etc. The rabbi that sponsored my conversion was a Chabad rabbi. Without him agreeing to be my sponsor/guardian per say, I wouldn't have been able to convert. However there are many who do not believe in conversion. I could have picked any orthodox rabbi, I just happened to go to chabad and like this rabbi and his wife. They are an amazing family. Chabad usually doesn't get involved in conversions. I wish you much luck and srength in your journey.
March 29, 2016
To Chuck in Florida
When you read the Bible you see that it was actually the Romans who killed the Messiah. Worse yet, Pilot knew he was innocent but ordered a brutal execution for political expediency. Further reading tells us that Jesus said he laid down his life and that no man took it from him. Thus "no man" is who is guilty there. So few people actually read what they claim to believe.