This is part of an ongoing series focusing on women’s prayers throughout the ages, and what we can learn from women about the impact of prayer.


Abraham tried. So did Isaac. Jacob and Moses tried, too. Yet they all failed. Only our righteous matriarch Rachel was successful.

When was this? The Midrash explains:

When the Temple was destroyed, the Holy One, blessed be He, wept and said, “Woe is Me for My house! My children, where are you? My priests, where are you? My lovers, where are you? What shall I do with you, seeing that I warned you but you did not repent?”

The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Jeremiah ... “Go, summon Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and Moses.” They came before Him and each one pleaded on behalf of Israel ... then the matriarch Rachel broke forth into speech.1

Rachel prayed. And she poured her heart out to G‑d. She had a candid conversation with Him, along that sounded something like: G‑d, do you know what I, a human of flesh and blood, did? I suppressed my own desires and sacrificed for the sake of my sister. My husband, Jacob, worked for seven years for me, and when it came to the wedding night and my father substituted my sister, Leah, I did not want her to experience shame. And, so, I shared with her the secret signs that I had made up with my husband-to-be.

The Midrash goes on to quote Rachel:

“I did her a kindness, was not jealous of her and did not expose her to shame. And if I, a creature of flesh and blood, formed of dust and ashes, was not envious of my rival and did not expose her to shame and contempt, why should You, a King Who lives eternally and is merciful, be jealous of idolatry in which there is no reality, and exile my children and let them be slain by the sword, and their enemies have done with them as they wished!”

At once the mercy of the Holy One, blessed be He, was stirred, and He said, “For your sake, Rachel, I will restore Israel to their place.”

What was this quality that activated G‑d’s mercy? What was it that successfully made Him promise to return the Jews to their homeland?

It was Rachel’s ability to sacrifice. Sacrifice might get a bad rap in today’s culture, where so much emphasis is placed on self-care and the self in general, and yet it is the relinquishing of something precious rather than holding tightly onto it that is so valued by G‑d. Often sacrifice is something no one knows about, or if they do, it isn’t necessarily celebrated. It is hard. And yet for G‑d, it is a most precious key to open the door of His heart.

Rachel not only sacrificed during her lifetime but also in her death. While the remainder of the Matriarchs and Patriarchs were buried in the Cave of Machpelah, Rachel agreed to be buried on the side of the road. She knew that one day the Temple would be destroyed and the Jews would be sent to exile, and she could be a comforting presence to her children. They would pass her gravesite on the way to exile, and she would be able to pray for them, as unworthy as they may have seemed.

So says the L‑rd: A voice is heard in Ramah, lamentation and bitter weeping, Rachel weeping for her children; she refuses to be comforted for her children, because they are not. So says the L‑rd: Withhold your voice from weeping, and your eyes from tears; for your work shall be rewarded ... and there is hope for thy future, says the L‑rd; and your children shall return to their own border.2

She sacrificed the merit of being buried near her husband Jacob for the sake of her future children. And it was this quality that ensured that her prayer would be accepted.

Thanks to Rachel’s sacrifice, G‑d responded with mercy, and we await the day when His promise will be fulfilled.

Soul Note: Overcoming jealousy, or avoiding another’s shame, can be the missing ingredient of prayer we didn’t think of.