Jewish Divorce Ethics

We or Me... Different Perceptions... Remorse and Appreciation... Tears, Not Rage...

Focus On Your Marriage... The Thriving Ideal... Demand of Yourself... Continual Nurturing... Sexual Discipline... Attentiveness to the Other... Focus Beyond Self... Inattentiveness... Neglect a Serious Matter... Agreeable Disagreement... Religious Disparity... Conjugal Difficulties... Alert to Dangers...

Avoid Procrastination... The Right and Wrong Question... Commitment to Try... Exciting or Stable... When Did It Start... Take Feelings Seriously... Communal Stake... Seeking Help... Making Help Work... Talking To Others... Projecting the Future... The Financial Crunch... Impact on Children... Shifting Focus...

Basic Principles... Divorce Model... Afflicting Forbidden... No Winners... Downward Spiral... The Kindness Alternative... Shallow Grounds... Can They Be Friends... Realizing the Change... Making a Good Break... Taking the Lead... Encouraging Disrespect... Encouraging Respect...

Potential for Divorce Healthy... Both Have Right to Sue... Against Her Will... Economic Marriage... No Exit, No Entry... Enter Rabbenu Gershom... Moving Toward Equality... Limits to Equality... Community Intervention... Message of the Edicts...

No Fault... Fault... Denial of Basics... Adultery... Not One-Sided... Adultery Different... Impediments... Spoiling the Meal... Divorce Not Instantaneous...

Woman Can Initiate... Equity in the Law... Irresponsibility... Abuse... Unbearable Conditions... Childlessness... Israel and Jerusalem... A Unique Title... General Rules... Conjugal Games... Limitations... Can, but Not Obliged...

Divorce among Religious Bitter Pill... The Exception... Procreation Obligation... Pain, Yom Kippur, and Circumcision... Pain and Childbirth... Pain of Childlessness... Ten Functional Years... Modern Medicine... Future Focus...

Unfair Disparity... Divorce as Havdalah... The Israel Reality... Critical Difference... Straightforward Procedure... The Get Procedure Precise Requisites... A Mitzvah... With Full Wits... Proof of Divorce... The Get Procedure... Always Traumatic... Continuing Responsibility... Jewish Divorce Ethics Court Sensitivity... The Get Procedure Helpful Gestures... Proxy... Post-Divorce Restrictions... Removing Doubt... No Intrusion... Do Not Delay...

Mutual Disadvantage... Marital Rape... Double Loss... Blaming Futile... Successful Divorce... The Wrong Court... Mediation... Rabbinic Malpractice... Serious Repercussions... The Right Rabbinical Court... The Upright Way...

The Ketubah... Post-Divorce Financial Pinch... Today's Reality... Settlement in Israel... Matrimonial Home... Other Considerations... To Agree or Not to Agree... Primary Obligation... Sustenance as Charity... Reasonableness... An Unused Option... Rabbinical Court's Power... Losing By Winning... Expanded Responsibilities... Inexcusable Conduct... To Be Resolute... Making the Ketubah Potent... Facing Reality...

Solomonic Wisdom... The Decision... Remove Ego... Beyond Rights... The Primary Concern... Impact on Children... Joint Custody... Jewish Perspective... Crucial Matter... General Rule... Psychological Considerations... Different Circumstances... The Child's Welfare... Parental Agreements... Child's Preference... Visitation Responsibilities... Keeping the Peace... The Real Winners... Child Support... Withholding Support... The Child's Right... No Fault Maintenance... Later Changes... Making Best of New Reality... Moving Away... Moving To Israel... The Real Implementers

Talmudic Divorce... Beyond The Legal... Always Linked... Continual Compassion... The Fundamental Principle... Cooperation... Guaranteed Delivery... Relaying the Good... Anger Self-Destructive... The Biblical Base... To Demand of One's Self... Children Remember... The Grandparents... Taking the Lead... Family Involvement... The Divorce Will Work Out... The Friendship Network... Projecting Ahead... The Obvious Choice...

Flames of Wrath... Deep Hurt... Extended Unhappiness... Self-Blame... Healthy Contemplation... Praying For The Ex... Integrating... Effective Blending...

Unfilled Expectations... Why It Failed... Building for the Future... Learning from Experience... Why Not... Reconciling On Yom Kippur... Model for Divorced Couples...

"Ethics of the Elders" contains timeless ethical instruction for all contingencies of life. Some guidelines for a Jewish Divorce Ethic, consistent with the ideas presented in this volume, and which are suggested in the Ethics.

Scary Prediction... Hopeful Trend... Crazy Question... Personality Factor... True Dialogue... Transcendence in Marriage... The Right Focus... Maturity... Sharing... No Contentedness... Enter G-d...