How to Be Secure

English letter from In the Days of Repentance, 5719.

Ibid.
Reuven Yelen was born to a Polish Jewish family in 1915. He studied in cheder, and in his early teens assumed leadership roles in the burgeoning Zionist youth movement of the time. In 1934, he made his way to British-ruled Palestine and participated in underground activities to pressure the British to open the country’s closed borders to Jews escaping Europe. He was imprisoned by the British for a while, and, after fighting in the war of 1948, settled down as the director of a government healthcare program, while remaining involved in the educational arm of the Zionist movement.
Responding to a letter of his in 1962, the Rebbe wrote the following pointed lines (excerpted from a longer letter):
“If in all times and places there was an essential need to give meaning to everyday life, a meaning based on Torah and tradition, all the more so in this generation, where many movements and ideologies, from the far left to the far right, have brought about bitter disappointment. This is especially pronounced regarding the [Israeli] youth who [in contrast to their parents] have not seen a life enlightened by the values of the Jewish people, the eternal nation, and they feel they were left hanging in a void empty of all content. This leads to the most undesirable symptoms, [particularly] when life enters a normal trajectory, dubbed by the world as ‘gray’ life, in which there are no special [revolutionary] operations that give opportunity to uncover one’s internal strengths, powers of heroism, devotion, and so on.
“And, begging your pardon—a double responsibility rests upon the parents of these youths to fill what they have omitted in the education of their children until today. And ‘If not now, then when?’ (Avot 1:14). And what will they answer on the day of accounting when their children demand to know why they weren’t given foundational, eternal values that give meaning to life and provide encouragement through the hard and unglamorous fight for survival?
“As you certainly know, it is not the path of Chasidut to lecture. On the whole it attempts to focus on themes that encourage and elevate the soul…. Every man and woman has endless internal strengths–if one only wants to utilize them to create a life worthy of its name. And then nature, or, as the world calls it, ‘the laws of nature,’ not only don’t inhibit one from creating such a life, but, moreover, a person is able, obliged, and fortunate to elevate nature itself beyond nature” (Igrot Kodesh, Vol. 19, p. 307).
*
See also Igrot Kodesh, Vol. 27, p. 189, for a letter encouraging Rabbi Simchah Raz to publish a biography on the “tzadik of Jerusalem” (Rabbi Aryeh Levin, 1885-1969): “I haven’t met him in person, and my acquaintance with him was only through correspondence by mail and hearing reports of his most exalted activities. Thus, it is hard for me to give an opinion on the specifics of what to emphasize in his biography.
“However, it is of vital importance to publicize his way of life and accomplishments. Especially in our times, when the youth are wandering in tangled paths, and have only succeeded in ‘shattering the [false] idols’ [see Bereishit Rabbah 38:13] of the previous generation, but not as of yet in finding their own way in life; and because of their great yearning for true meaning, and because of their great fear of emptiness, they ‘grope around in the dark’ [see Deuteronomy 28:29] and hang on to all types of ideologies. Thus, it is of tremendous value to have a book from which they can learn about a man who has just lived among them, and, though educated in the past generation, had deep bonds with the most progressive of our times…. Though I cannot give an opinion on the details, when I read the draft you sent I have become even more convinced of the book’s vital necessity. May you be blessed for taking it on yourself.”
*
It was 1960, and a young Canadian woman wrote a letter to the Rebbe asking for his counsel on her conundrums surrounding dating and marriage. 
She laid out her practical dilemmas. Should she remain in Montreal, where she was already settled? Or should she move to New York, where there are more suitable young men? She divulged her reflections about what values she sought in a potential life partner, expressing her preference for a man who was “religious and modern.” And she added that while she wanted to know the Rebbe’s thoughts, she might not accept them, and she feared it would then be unbecoming of her to continue corresponding with him. 
The Rebbe began his response (English letter dated 25 Adar, 5720) by assuring her that while “I try my best to give the best possible advice as it seems to me,” it is by no means binding or intended to deprive anyone of their own free decision; thus, “you may continue to write to me in the future too, without obligation or apprehension.” He then addressed her practical dilemmas, telling her that since it’s hard to make consequential decisions while acclimating to a new location, it might be best to continue living in Montreal and traveling to New York on occasion to date.  He then proceeded to offer perspective on what to prioritize in her search for a religious and modern partner.
After noting that “in our confused times, ‘modern’ may mean different things, and it is indeed used to describe viewpoints and attitudes which are often quite contrary and extreme”—for example, one modern trend is to lead a more spiritually committed life of immersion in Torah study, and another modern trend is to reject the conventions of society, as personified by the beatniks—he then continued with the following:
“The real point I want to make is this. We live in very transient and changeable times; some may speak proudly of our Atomic Age, but the present age has not increased the sense of security and stability, especially for the younger generation; rather, on the contrary. 
“Young people are now more than ever groping for real meaning in life, instead of constant frustration. When one is about to enter married life and build a home, one surely wants it to be a binyan adei ad (an everlasting edifice), as the text reads [Sheva Brachot—Ketubot 8a]. [Marriage] involves a total commitment of two young people to each other for the rest of their lives, their lives being still ahead of them. 
“It is therefore necessary to find a partner for life who is secure, stable, and steadfast in his outlooks, whose integrity and reliability as far as the most essential things in life are concerned will not waver or be affected by the changes in outlook outside the home. In other words, a most “un-modern” type of person.
“But in the final analysis what is important is not to be modern but to be happy and to enjoy a happy and harmonious life together with one’s chosen partner in life. Experience has shown that the more religious a young man is, the more stable he is and the greater therefore the chance of lasting happiness with him. It is necessary to weigh really essential things and values against non-essential, external aspects, and if one has to make concessions, common sense should clearly indicate where the concessions should be made…”
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On April 11, 1956, two terrorists entered a school and killed five students and their teacher in the Israeli village of Kfar Chabad, founded only six years earlier. The attack was devastating and deeply disheartening to the village, the entire Chabad community, and Israel as a whole. In response, the Rebbe sent twelve yeshivah students to Israel as his personal shluchim (emissaries) to bring comfort, encouragement, and revival. Splitting up into pairs, they crisscrossed Israel for a month, talking to residents, especially the youth, and bringing a message of hope. Following their visit, the Rebbe wrote the following (Igrot Kodesh, Vol. 13, p. 476) to Mr. Zalman Shazar, a prolific writer and poet, who served at the time as a member of Israel’s parliament (and later as its president):
“I hesitated if I should write the following lines, but I will nevertheless do so, at least briefly.
“Based on the reports I received from the shluchim on their return from the Holy Land, the fear I expressed in our conversation on your last visit—that Israel’s younger generation feels bitterly disappointed in many areas, and, to a considerable measure, they feel without proper footing in life—has been confirmed, to my greatest anguish, and to an even worse extent than I thought. For it seems that this disappointment caused a substantial element of the youth to turn all their aspirations towards physical and mundane pleasures, such as a nice home with elegant furniture, a comfortable and quiet job, and so on. (Though, to my delight, at the present, it is mostly not prohibited pleasures, but rather what the Tanya [ch. 7] refers to as klipat nogah.) And their whole passion is invested in this to the point of withdrawal from all spiritual achievements. And if a considerable amount of the youth are in this state, it is understood that there is a minority that has fallen lower—below klipat nogah.
“As we discussed in the past, in a person’s life the exact state of the present is not so important. What’s most important is the direction they are going towards. Thus, what is most painful—and frightening—in the above is that for the last few years the path of Israel’s youth has all been moving in one direction: from the spiritual to the less spiritual, and from there to the physical, and from the physical to the materialistic.
“Of course my intention is not at all to pain you, which is why I wrote these lines as briefly as possible. I have come to you with these lines only in the hope that you will use your influence on those with the means to finally mend this situation, and certainly to refrain from anything that pushes the youth in this [negative] direction…”