1. The Line-Up

It was one of those ethereal scenes before time began and space was but a twinkle in G‑d's eye. Don't ask how we can tell stories about a time before time and a scene without place — this is a Midrash. Time and place are not the point.

G‑d is about to create a world. Nothing exists. (Yes, I see your point: How am I telling a story when nothing exists. But that's not the point, either.) News goes out that He will be creating this world using — not mud, not molecules, not even electromagnetism. Using words. Words of the Holy Tongue. Words containing Divine Creative Energy containing Ideas containing the Ten Divine Attributes. And words are made of letters. Consequently, all twenty-two letters of the Holy Tongue get in line to make their bid: Which letter gets to be the foundation stone? After all, everything that happens next is based on the foundation stone.

First in line was the letter tav. Yes, I know, tav is the last letter of the Hebrew Alphabet. You can be sure there was lots of discussion about that: who goes first in line, what kind of a line, where the line should be, who says there has to be a line in the first place. But apparently, whoever is in charge of lineups in the pre-space-time continuum domain made a decision that this line was to be backwards, with certain exceptions for reasons known to those who deal in such things. This is also not the point.

The point is that tav got its chance. And it was turned down. So was Shin — a letter with not one, not two, but three supernal crowns — just because of its association with Kuf and Resh, thereby spelling shekker (falsehood). Same with the next eighteen letters: In each case, the Omniscient Creator found some negative association that disqualified that letter. Even Yud — the quintessential letter containing all wisdom — and you can imagine the commotion when that happened. Until the letter Beit.

Beit, you must understand, is totally awesome. Every letter has a form and a sound that reflect the energy patterns it carries as it and its sister-letters combine in their endless alliances and formations that generate all the objects and events of all the worlds. Each begins with the spike of the letter yud — because each draws its energy from the unknowable, essential point of all being. Each has lines that draw energy downward and outward — because that is what letters are all about: They are packets of energy to bring the infinite light into contained, finite places. Each either contains semblances of other letters within it, or is found within other letters — because all the letters work in a magnificent symphony of harmony and interrelationships.

In all these things, Beit contains deep secrets and wonders. It has a yud spike above and up front, and another below and behind. It is found within the empty space of the letter Peh. It's base is firm and supportive. It contains light in its crevice, yet is open from one side. And many other secrets besides. In so many ways, it represents every perfection within Creation.

So the Almighty Master of All Things beheld the letter Beit in all her magnificence and splendor and pronounced it to be the beginning of all things, saying,

"Beit, you stand for Bracha (blessing)! There is no other letter that is so fit to be the foundation of My world!"

The band struck up, the supernal beings sang and all the holy letters re-aligned for the grand parade.

2. Aleph Demands Justice

This is where our story truly begins. With the saga of the Aleph.

You see, as all the letters and all beings above and below raised their voices in song, trumpets blared and the coronation of Beit began, the letter Aleph just stood there, her chin touching the floor in dumbfounded flabbergastation.

Then a silvery tear found its way down her cheek and splashed down upon the ceremonies.

"My dear little Aleph," the Awesome Unknowable Creator said with genuine concern, "you seem so hurt. Is it something we can talk about?"

That's when she burst into tears.

"Yes, I know," G‑d continued, once her sobs had begun to subside, "you're upset with me. And rightfully so."

Little Aleph pushed a few words out between her sobs. "I didn't even get a turn!" she cried.

"No, you didn't even get a turn," He chorused.

"And I had such a great presentation to make."

G‑d:
Of course you do.


Aleph:
Of course I do.


G‑d:
After all, Beit is only the second of all the letters.


Aleph:
And I'm the first.


G‑d:
And you are the first.


Aleph:
What's the point of being first, if you don't even get a turn?


Then her rage struck in all fury:

Aleph:
What's the whole big deal with Beit, anyway? Okay, so she has the cute little yud on her rooftop and all. Like, I don't have anything to talk about? I don't even get a chance to present?!


More sobs. Then:

G‑d:
Aleph, Beit has a lot of neat things going for it. But so do you. You are a very amazing little letter. The first of all the letters. You have one yud pointing up and another pointing down, because you transcend higher and lower. And you also contain a vav, to draw from above to below so that all things above will be reflected below and all things below will connect to above. Two yuds and a vav — that equals My most Holy Name by which all of existence is sustained!"


Aleph:
And I also stand for your other most Holy Name, Elokim, the singular force behind all forces! And three other Divine Names besides.


G‑d:
But you have to see that Beit is also special. Do you know what Beit is all about?
Aleph:
Of course I do! Beit is all about wisdom. Wisdom, order, rules, limitations, constriction. Regulations. Beit stands for Bureaucrat. Beit is a nice little house with a roof and walls to hold out the Infinite Light and a little door on one side to let a trickle in. And You chose that constipated, square-headed Beit over me!


G‑d:
Beit also stands for blessing.


Aleph:
And what do I stand for?


G‑d:
Very many wonderful things. As Beit carries My Immanence, the light that pervades all things and reaches to the most distant confines, the energy of life that penetrates and becomes an infinite multitude of beings and events, even the energy of cognizance to discern between life and death, good and evil,


...so you carry My Power of Transcendence that reaches higher and higher without limits. No thought is able to grasp the end of the light you contain.


Look! Let Me change the letters of your name around and you will see. Now they are Aleph Lamed Phe. I just turn them backwards, and you are Peh Lamed Aleph — Peleh! Meaning, "Wonder." Wonder is something that pulls you further every time you look, something you can never pin down and say, "This is it," something always breaking out of definition and boundaries.


Aleph hadn't heard a word. Her back was turned, her little hand planted firmly under her little chin, a look of ire and indignation clouding her little face. Definitely not impressed. In fact, her teeth were audibly grinding as she spoke the next words.

"I know the truth," she muttered.

And then, with fury:

Aleph:
Look, let's cut the sugar-coated empathy-counseling, okay? What do you think I was doing all these 2,000 years of virtual time that the Torah has existed before Creation? Playing jump rope? I know what You have in Your Holy Zohar about me!


G‑d:
Aleph, give Me a chance to explain…


Aleph:
CURSED! It says Aleph stands for aror — "cursed"! That's all you can think of me! And that's how you disqualified me before I even had a chance.


G‑d:
You're taking it out of context…


Aleph:
So You can't create a world with the first letter of Your Holy Alphabet, the letter that contains Your Most Holy Name and begins Your Second Most Holy Name, a letter of Ultimate Transcendence and Amazingness, because it would be cursed! And my little sister Beit, she's just great 'cause she's blessed!


G‑d:
That's not what it says. It doesn't say you are cursed. It says that you would allow place for the cursed. There would always be place for the wicked and they would never perish. Things would just never work out.


Aleph:
Uh-huh. Things would never work out. Well, I have a question for you then. You see, I was doing a little more reading of that same Torah of Yours, and I happened to notice that You're planning to inject the world with this Torah that transcends all time and space —real, virtual and otherwise — and is the sustaining wisdom behind all that exists. And when you do, You're planning to have Yours Truly involved. In fact, involved at the very beginning.


G‑d:
That's right! I was planning to tell you about that! When I initiate transmission of My Torah, I'm going to start like this: "Anochi" — meaning I — "am the Transcendent Being, your Immanent Force Who took you out of the Land of Egypt…" And Anochi starts with Aleph! See? So there's really nothing to fuss about!


Aleph:
That's right, nothing to fuss about.


G‑d:
Good. I'm glad we have that settled.


Aleph:
Right, so now, since it's okay to start the transmission of Your Torah with me, it's certainly okay to start Your world with me, right?


G‑d:
Aleph! Can't you share anything? Can't your little sister have some glory as well? I thought you would be so delighted about the position I saved for you! But, no, you just want to have it all!


Aleph:
Talk about sharing. That's just the problem. There's something You're not sharing with me. Look, You can choose who You want to start Your world, but You have to give a fair chance to everyone else. And You did, to everyone except me. I don't even get to make a presentation. All I get is a brush-off with some cheap excuse about one of those four-letter words I take no responsibility for. Like, Beit doesn't have any nasty words growing off of it? I bet I could make a whole lexicon of them!


G‑d:
Don't talk bad about Beit. Beit is a good little letter.


Aleph:
You're avoiding the issue.


Pause.

G‑d:
Okay, I'll tell you the secret.


Aleph:
I'm waiting.


Violins.

3. Aleph's Dark Little Secret

G‑d:
Aleph, you're just too great for making a world.


Aleph:
Oh yeah. Nice try. If I'm too great for making a world, then the Torah is too great to put inside it.


G‑d:
That's not what I meant. I mean that a world founded upon you just won't work. Because you are so great.


Aleph:
Yeah, lay on the flattery. That always works with those silly little letters.


The Infinite and Eternal One hesitated (this is a Midrash, remember) for a virtual moment in deliberation over the choice before Him. And then…

G‑d:
Let me show you. Close your eyes.


Closing her tiny eyes, little Aleph became absorbed into the mysterious darkness of the Holy Crown, into a place beyond even the virtual time in which this story takes place, a place from which she could see all of the real time of human history in a single burst.

Within that darkness, she saw her transcendence reflected within the finite dimensions of a created world. She descended and saw fiery beings consumed in the passion of the Infinite Light. She descended again and saw angelic beings rising higher and higher in song and joy, in love and in fear. She descended again and saw human creatures standing in awe and wonderment, in bliss and enlightenment, in ecstasy, their souls expiring to be absorbed within the effulgence of the light she carried...

"Wonderful," she said. "Looks like an okay world to me."

The Almighty Creator looked at her again, closely and with compassion, measuring her strength to show her what He would show her next. Apparently, He decided it was worth the pain.

"Close your little eyes and look again," G‑d replied.

She did, and entered once again the darkness of the Crown and the shell that contained that place called world. Within that darkness, Horror came forth in all its brutal might. Lives perished meaninglessly, wisdom was burned in fire, forests became deserts, cities became desolate ruins, Starvation and Ugliness oozed outward as Pain and Cruelty conquered all.

In terror and shock, Aleph flew out from the world.

"Who is doing that to Your world?" she asked, trembling.

"The wicked." He replied

"And how do You let them?" she asked.

"It is all in the name of Aleph." He replied.

"ME?!"

G‑d held His little letter close and looked deep into her frightened tiny eyes.

G‑d:
Aleph, you are good. The light you carry is very good. But as you transport this light below, its power can become distorted. The holy fire of the Seraphim above can become desolation and destruction below.


You saw those "holy men" who abandon My world, didn't you? They say that it is not a place for them, because it is so dark. They wish to transcend, which in itself is not bad, but in their path they leave a vacuum, and then the forces of darkness come to fill that void. They drain all the light from my Creation.


Aleph:
And they don't care?


G‑d:
They are far too high and lofty to care. They see all the world as a dark dream without purpose. What does it matter, they say, if in this dream children starve and the wicked get their way? Who cares about a silly dream in the dark of night?


That's what I meant when I said you are too great to build a world upon. You are so great that up and down, dark and light, good and evil — they are all the same. You are so great that the wicked, too, will thrive in your light.


Aleph:
But I saw much worse than that.


G‑d:
Yes, much worse.


Aleph:
I saw explosions and heard awful cries. Savage screams and pain that seemed to have no reason or meaning. And they were screaming — I, I don't understand — that You are great.


G‑d:
They are those who take the Oneness of Aleph and wantonly destroy My world with it.


Aleph:
Destroy with Oneness?!


G‑d:
The Oneness that is meant to heal, they use to destroy. They see no point in My world or the lives I have made within it, so they use my Oneness to obliterate it. They are beings who have descended to the depths of self-worship and scream that they stand for the One G‑d. No life has value for them, other than to be sacrificed on the altars of their own egos — and so they delight in seeing human beings that I have made with love and care obliterate themselves and annihilate crowds of innocents in a fire of insane devastation.


And how can they be stopped? They hold truth ransom, hijacked! They scream there is only One! And they are right. But look what they have done with this Oneness.


4. Aleph Cops Out

Aleph's tiny eyes stared into the distance, the scene of horror locked into her mind.

Aleph:
Um, I think I just changed my mind. I don't really want anything to do with this world thing You're making. I'll just climb back up there into my place on the Crown and…


G‑d:
But, Aleph, I need you for My world! Just because you don't get to go first doesn't mean…


Aleph:
Oh, that's okay. I don't need to be first. I don't need to be anywhere at all in this whole thing. It was real silly of me to begin with, wasn't it? I mean, Beit will do just a great job.


G‑d:
But, Aleph, you'll be needed down there! How will I get the angels to sing without you?


Aleph:
Without me there won't be those horrors you showed me.


G‑d:
But look, there will be those that will need you! Like Abraham, whose name begins with you, because he will be the one to discover my Oneness.


Aleph:
And how's he going to feel about the way those descendants of his use it?


G‑d:
There will be so much good from it as well!


Aleph:
Nothing worth what You just showed me.


G‑d:
How will the human soul rise above? Without you, My world will always remain dark!


Aleph:
Oh, I think you can make a pretty nice world without me. A neat, orderly, bureaucratic world. Tidy rows of plants and an impressive order of wildlife. Physics, rules of nature — it will work out just fine. As for the human, You could just make him into some sort of intelligent, obedient robot. Or even a super-bright monkey. In fact, I can recommend just the right letter to get involved in all this. Her name is Beit and she's right over there waiting. As for me, I'll just climb back up into this snuggly place here on Your Holy Crown where I came from…


G‑d:
Not quite.


Aleph:
And why not?


G‑d:
Because if you're not part of the show, you've forfeited your place on the Crown. In fact, you no longer exist. Because the sole reason for your existence is this world I am about to make.


Aleph:
Now this is getting really nuts. What on earth do You need that sick world for?!


G‑d:
It's not a sick world. Okay, sometimes it gets a little under the weather, like for about the first six millennia or so after the Garden Affair. But it's a very amazing place with lots of cool stuff happening.


Aleph:
Cool stuff. Here You've got Infinite Light, Ultimate Transcendence, Perfect Unity — all the highest and coolest stuff there could be. And now You're telling me that You're ready to trash all that if You can't get a finite, lowly, fragmented, horrifying, painful, meaningless world out of it?


G‑d:
All that infinite transcendent unity stuff — I only came up with those ideas for the sake of creating that world. Same with the Ten Luminous Spheres, the entire set of Aleph-Beit, and even the Holy Crown itself. You don't get involved in this world project and they all go down the shredder.


And don't go calling My world meaningless. There's meaning there, even if you can't see it.


Aleph:
I can't see it.


G‑d:
And that's exactly why I can't build a world with you! Or with the Transcendent Light. It will have to enter initially as Darkness. The Absolute Darkness of the First Tzimtzum, the Primordial Constriction, where not even a trace of the Infinite Light remains. And then it will stay beyond and encompassing, while the Pervasive Light of Beit will enter in a fine and narrow line.


But you, dear Aleph, you cannot break through to enter this world, because you are too high to see any meaning in it all.


Aleph:
So zap me. And zap the whole thing.


Silence. A vacuum.

5. Aleph in Edenland

G‑d could have cried.

But then, He stared thoughtfully at little Aleph standing there with her arms folded in cute defiance, her eyes still holding back the tears of trauma, and He saw a certain beauty, the same beauty that had inspired Him to this whole world idea in the first place.

So, instead, He smiled. Once again, He raised the Aleph close to Him and spoke to her gently and intimately.

"My little Aleph," He said, "I see you have changed. You are not the aloof Aleph that your name implies. I see you care about my world."

"Not true," Aleph replied. "In fact, I don't want anything to do with it."

"And that," G‑d answered, "is just the proof I need that you care. That good and evil are not the same to you. Perhaps you are beginning to understand why I, too, care. Perhaps you are beginning to feel your essence that lies locked inside."

Aleph was puzzled.

"I'm going to show you something," G‑d continued. "My secret chamber."

"Close your eyes."

Once again, Aleph closed her eyes and once again she rose higher, swallowed within the darkness of the Crown. But this time, she continued to ascend, penetrating deeper and deeper within the inner chambers of the Holy Crown as locked doors opened before her in endless procession for endless time, and then she rose above the endlessness to come to a place that stands at the beginning of infinity.

Aleph:
What is this place? This is awesome.


G‑d:
This is Eden. You've learned about it as the source of the river that waters the Garden. It is also know as Oneg. Delight. Pleasure. Nothing is higher than Oneg.


Aleph:
And what are these toys lying around?


G‑d:
Those are the games I play that give Me pleasure. See this one? It is the game of Infinite and Finite, where those two opposites fit one within another. And here is Dark and Light, where both become the same. Oh, and look at this one — Space and NoSpace. And then there's Time and NoTime. Many and One. Or sometimes I play real simple — but lot's of fun — Existence and Non-existence both at once.


Aleph:
This one looks neat.


G‑d:
It certainly is. That's the human life.


Aleph:
And what is so special about that?


G‑d:
It's a combo. Because in the human life all these games are played together as one.


But there's something even more special about it. This is the observer. It is the eyes through which I make these discoveries, the consciousness that experiences these games, the hands that play and touch them as real, solid objects.


Aleph:
So, where does Oneg fit in? Which one of all these opposites is it?


G‑d:
It is none of them, and it is the essence of them all. It is the essence of the Crown, of Wisdom, of all the Ten Luminous Spheres and each of the Holy Letters.


Aleph:
Even of me?


G‑d:
Even of you. And of Beit. And all the others. Of all these opposites and every idea I have ever had. All begin with Oneg as it radiates into the formlessness of Will and then contracts into the delicious taste within Wisdom and the ecstasy of profound Understanding. It is the spark of Consciousness that gives birth to Kindness and to Might; it is the mystery of Beauty and of Compassion, the glory of Victory and the victory of Glory. The glue behind All That Is and the Unknowable Secret of My Dominion that generates existence out of the void.


Every creature, above and below, that comes to be, every event and every nuance, its very fabric and life is this Oneg, tightly focused and concentrated to become a being. (More)


"Wait," G‑d said, "I will show you the details, step by step."

And Aleph saw a cosmos come into being out of nothing, and although it was a something, its sum whole remained nothingness. And it had laws and limitations to run by, a system of cause and effect, but by those same laws it should not exist. And it was made of a material that was both mass and energy, both at once. And so its very existence was wondrous.

And then Aleph saw the earth sprout forth flora and fauna, as death became life and then life death in an endless circle. She felt the pulse of being and not-being that powered each creature as the infinite life of creation became the finite soul of even a tiny bug crawling upon the ground and a single amoeba amongst trillions in a mud puddle. She heard the harmony of song, the elegance of design within every galaxy, every star, every planet, every system, every creature, every cell, every atom, as the same infinite wisdom condensed itself into each package in an infinite spectrum of packages.

And in each thing glistened Oneg, for that was the fabric of each thing.

Aleph:
So this is the beginning of each thing, this Oneg you have in Your world?


G‑d:
No. It begins deeper. It begins with this delight, the drama of the human soul. Watch and see…


And so it was that Aleph was allowed to see the saga of the human soul below, as seen by the Knower of All Things above.

She watched as Adam appeared and he contained all this spectrum and all these perfections of impossible paradox, all in a single being — for he, too, began with the Aleph. And the Aleph watched as the Adam harmonized a counterpoint of spirit and body as though they were one. As the opposites of male and female, self and other, merged into a mystic whole. She saw the Adam become many, many Adams, and she saw them work together and play together — in games very much like the games of Adam's Creator — making many into one and one into many. She watched as Adam found beauty there below, as he created beauty out of the mud and music out of tears.

Aleph:
I'm impressed. Oneg is cool.


G‑d:
So how about I start my world with Oneg?


Aleph:
No. Can't do that. Against the rules: Oneg isn't a letter.


G‑d:
So I'll make it into a letter.


Aleph:
Oh.


G‑d:
But I won't.


Aleph:
Why?


G‑d:
Because letters are messengers sent by me to carry things below. Oneg is not meant to work that way. Oneg must be called, not sent. Something down there has to happen and that will awaken my Oneg. Until then, it will lie dormant, quietly concealed within each thing.


Aleph:
So how will it awaken?


G‑d:
Watch again.


Aleph saw as a man named Abraham and his wife Sarah appeared. Abraham looked beyond the shell of this dark world and realized there was a G‑d inside. And they walked up to each man and woman and flicked a switch, and a person became and the person began to shine. And Aleph watched as Abraham argued with G‑d on behalf of these people, and G‑d delighted in Abraham's consternation, like a father delighting in his child's inventions.

And their children, Isaac and Rebecca, dug deeper into those people and into this world and discovered a deeper light, and so on for seven generations. And then,

Aleph watched as a great, transcendent light hurtled down from Above, spearheaded by Aleph herself. She gasped to see herself in that light, for she saw there an entirely new Aleph. Not the Aleph that stood beyond the world, a hazard because she was too great for the world to absorb. But an Aleph filled with the glow of G‑d's delight in each thing in this world. Now she was the ultimate tool in the hands of these people, the tool to transform physical into spiritual, earth into heaven.

She watched as they used her power to transform the gold and silver of the idolaters of Egypt into lucid vessels of G‑dly light in a Holy Tabernacle. As the hide of a sheep became a Divine scroll. As the light of a simple oil lamp became the emanations of Supreme Wisdom and ink made from ashes became a channel for the Supreme Mind.

And the people, too, each one became a sanctuary of Divine Light. For now, even the lowliest slave was granted rights and privileges, for all life had become holy since G‑d's delight in this world had begun to shine. The mundane became transcendent, and transcendence soaked the earth.

And then G‑d showed her the struggle within the human heart, a heart formed from the mud, a heart the world had filled with anger, with spite and with jealousy, and within it a spark of the G‑dly soul fighting for its very life. And this human being sat there, in struggle.

"What is it doing?" she asked. "And why so much Oneg in this?"

G‑d smiled. "He is doing something very amazing, something only this being can do."

"Which is?"

"He is not sinning."

"That's it?"

"For him, that is a very great thing. Greater than the angels, greater than the holy deeds of the righteous."

"And that is where it ends?"

"No, he will begin to return to Me, with all his heart, schlepping along all the darkness he has gathered and transforming it to light. Until, very soon, all darkness will be light, the wickedness will fall away for no place will be left for it, and all my world will be a place of open delight, for him to know as well. It is only fair, isn't it, that he should know my delight as well?

And then, it seems, speaking to Himself:

"Why does he return? Because I am him, and yet he is not Me. This is what it means to have a child. To be there and not there. Nothing could be more delicious."

"And for this…" Aleph spoke.

"And for this I emanated all thoughts and created all things."

Sources: Midrash Rabbah, Braishit 1:14; Zohar, beginning of Parshat Vayigash; Maamar V'HaBriach Hatichon 5658, Rabbi Sholom DovBer of Lubavitch; Maamar Chayav Inish 5718, the Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem M. Schneerson, published by Vaad Hanochos Blahak, 5762; and reams of other neat places.