I was anxious to have the marriage solemnized in Crown Heights with the chupah outside 770, with the Rebbe being messader kiddushin (officiating). I did realize that the Rebbe had officially stopped being messader kiddushin about three years before; but, as the Rebbe had himself sponsored this shidduch, I hoped that the Rebbe would make an exception and consent to officiate at Hindy and Shmuel's wedding.

I wrote to the Rebbe and explained how I could foresee that these two young people would be a tremendous asset to Lubavitch in general and to the Rebbe in particular. If the Rebbe would only give them his grand “send-off” to their married life together, then their potentiality as extraordinary and exceptionally good Lubavitch workers would be that much more fulfilled and realized.

Of course, if the Rebbe were to agree to be messader kiddushin then the wedding would need to take place in Crown Heights and not in England. I therefore decided to ask the Rebbe - not just when but also - where we should have the wedding.

On the 28th Menachem Av 5722 (August 28, 1962), I received a reply from the Rebbe:

...With reference to the time and place of your daughter's marriage in a happy and auspicious hour, surely this is a matter for both sides to determine. In general, it is the Jewish custom to arrange the wedding in the place of the kallah. As for the question of the date, and your mentioning that if the place is Manchester then it could be arranged during the winter months, I do not quite understand why this haste. Originally you and Mrs. Jaffe seemed to be against an early wedding or even תנאים [engagement], and now you seem to want to rush it in a few months' time? But you do not even mention any reasons for this haste.

If you desire to know my opinion, I would suggest considering the summer, which would enable the choson to end the year of learning without much distraction, and would enable your daughter too to complete her studies. What is no less important is the fact that it is necessary to have ample time to discuss and arrange for the couple's plans after the wedding. In view of all this, you should have an open mind about the date of the wedding and begin discussion on the above-mentioned points.

In view of the note of urgency in your letter, I have replied to your letter ahead of turn.

The Rebbe wished to know the reason for haste. As far as we were concerned, there was nothing to prevent the marriage taking place as soon as possible. Shmuel was in New York and Hindy in Manchester. The telephone bills were such that it would be cheaper for me to get them married at once!

The Rebbe had suggested that it should take place - in almost one year's time - during the summer. This confirmed what he told us at our last yechidus. We were now hoping that if we were to wait until the summer and have the wedding in New York, there was the very good chance the Rebbe may agree to being the messader kiddushin. I conveyed this understanding to the Rebbe. Then, in a letter to me dated 27th Elul 5722 (September 26, 1962), the Rebbe had added a postscript which read:

...With regard to my position relating to siddur chupah and kiddushin, you can gather it from the fact that in about two weeks a cousin of mine will be married in New York to a talmid of the Lubavitcher Yeshiva, but the messader Kiddushin will be one of the Anash Rabbonim.

This was a big blow to our ambitions of the Rebbe officiating at the ceremony. I discussed the matter with Rabbi Shemtov. He concurred with my viewpoint that although the Rebbe had hinted that he would not be messader kiddushin, nevertheless he had not expressed an unequivocal “no.” If the marriage took place in Manchester, then there was no chance at all of achieving our objective, whereas, if the location was Crown Heights, then there was still a possibility that the Rebbe would bestow upon us this great honor.

The Rebbe had also explained that being that I was a man holding a prominent position in the Manchester community, I could not transfer this simcha to another country. Ultimately, after much correspondence, the Rebbe permitted the wedding to be held in Crown Heights as long as I compensate Manchester by providing some large function connected to the wedding for my Manchester friends, relatives and colleagues. I therefore suggested that I would arrange to hold an elaborate sheva brochos in Manchester, within the week of the wedding. We intended to invite 450 guests.

On the third light of Chanukah 5723 (December 24, 1962), the Rebbe confirmed that this was in order by writing:

...You are right in assuming that there is no objection on my part as to the time and place of the wedding, in a happy and auspicious hour, as long as both sides agree on the time and place.

As for the young couple's plans after the wedding, there was here some discussion on this subject without final decision, as also in regard to their settling in general, for they had no definite suggestions to offer, not did I hear from them any suggestions that you or the choson's parents might have made.

From time to time I see the clippings which your son Avrohom submits to me; and, of course, I follow your communal activities with keen interest.

In these days of Chanukah, May G‑d grant that all matters of Torah and Mitzvos and the material blessings coming through them advance in a growing measure, as taught by the Chanukah candles, and that all your affairs, personal and communal, likewise flourish in a steadily increasing manner.

We hoped the Rebbe would indeed bestow upon us the tremendous and exceptional honor of officiating at the wedding. With that in mind, we made plans to indeed have the wedding in New York.