Healthy love must always include an element of discipline. A degree of distance and respect for the other. An assessment of the persons capacity to contain your love. Love must be tempered and directed properly. Ask a parent who in the name of love has spoiled his child; or someone who suffocates their spouse with love and doesn't allow her any space of her own. Love with discretion is necessary to avoid giving to those that don't deserve it.
Is my love disciplined enough? Do others take advantage of my giving nature? Am I hurting anyone by becoming their crutch in the name of love? Am I hurting my children by forcing upon them my value system because I love them so? Do I respect the one I love or is it a selfish love? Am I sensitive to his feelings and attitudes? Do I see my beloved as an extension of myself and my needs? In my love is there as much emphasis on the one I love and his ability to contain my love as there is on me and my giving? Rain is a blessing only because it falls in drops that don't flood the fields.
Exercise for the day: Help someone on their terms not on yours. Apply yourself to their specific needs even if it takes effort.
I really appreciate the daily individual encouragements that come with counting the Omer.
However, there seems to be a conflict between day two - ‘Gevurah of Chesed’ which states the need to be ‘discretionary’ so as not to extend love to the ‘undeserving’ - ‘Love with discretion is necessary to avoid giving to those that ‘don't deserve it.’
And day three - ‘Tiferet of Chesed’ which states the value of love extended when not deserved - ‘Real love is expressed even when one gets nothing in return; even when the other ‘doesn't deserve love.’
This is an interesting thought you pointed out. Thank you for mentioning it. I guess at the end of the day, everyone deserves love. However, we can love from a distant because loving some individuals is just too painful.
Another translation of “Chesed”
Is “Kindness “. Which I prefer rather than the English word “love” because “love” is abused in English.
But “kindness “ gives a perspective that can be given to people outside of a family. And “love” needs boundaries. But HaShem is kind to all His creations. And in Hebrew giving kindnesses can be plural. Chasadim. One can do little kindnesses and many of them •••
Hello Karen Stewart From Houston -
My name also is Karen! The reply you shared to Anonymous was actually me.
Loving from a distance - when determined to be wise, and or, needful - is often subjective and a very sad reality created when needful relationship balances are consistently absent. Humility before the L-rd, growing in and practicing His terms for relationships with others is a journey for sure.
The L-rd, imho, doesn't ask or require we engage to the point of consistent harm be it emotional, spiritual, or otherwise when in the end result unhealthy and negative en-ablements are expected - albeit it blindly, and or, prevail.
I understand it as - gevurah =strength and discipline. So the way it would work is, give love to all, but have gevurah. do not keep giving untill your cup is empty. Leave some for you. You need you too. Ultimately love for all, but within that love we must have boundaries. Love everything with tiferet, but also gevurah. Like the tree of life. They work together to create reality and harmony.