A noted Rabbi had come to the Rebbe for yechidus before his eldest daughter was to be married. “Forgive me for mixing into your personal life,” the Rebbe told him at the conclusion of their meeting, “but I have a request of you. Let your beard grow. It’s appropriate for a man of your position.

“And,” the Rebbe added with a smile, “it’s appropriate for the new phase that will begin in your personal life. After all, soon you’re going to become a zeide (a grandfather), and you should look like a zeide !”

The Rabbi happily agreed to the Rebbe’s request, and asked: “Perhaps I should also change my style of hat (the Rabbi would wear a round hat) to that worn by the Rebbe?”

“No,” the Rebbe replied with a wave of his hand, “that’s a superficial matter. I have followers who think that by putting on the same hat I do, and having it dented exactly as I do, they’ll establish a connection with me. That isn’t the way.

“The way to establish a connection is to invest energy in the same areas in which I invest my energy.”