תּוֹרַת הַחֲסִידוּת דּוֹרֶשֶׁת, כִּי תְחִלָּה לְהוֹכָחָה צְרִיכִים לְהָסִיר אֶת הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם, נִיט שְׁטעֶכעֶן זִיךְ, כִּי בְּטוּפְרְהָא אֲחִידָן, יעֶדעֶר שְׁטאָך אִיז קְלִיפָּה וְסִטְרָא אַחֲרָא, וְאַחַר נְטִילַת הַצִּפָּרְנַיִם צָרִיךְ לִהְיוֹת נְטִילַת יָדַיִם, כִּמְבוֹאָר עִנְיָנָהּ בְּדִבְרֵי אֱלֹקִים חַיִּים, הַמְשָׁכַת הַמּוֹחִין לְמִדּוֹת.

The1 teachings of Chassidus demand that before rebuking one’s fellowman, one should “cut one’s nails,” so that people will not scratch each other — for [the forces of kelipah2 ] cling to the nails.3 Every prick [unleashes] kelipah and sitra achra.4

Then, after cutting the nails, one must perform a ritual washing of the hands.5 In [the metaphorical language of] Chassidus,6 this signifies the drawing down of intellectual influence into the emotions.7

Probing Beneath the Surface

The Mishnah states:8 “Who is mighty? He who subdues his [evil] inclination.” On this the Baal Shem Tov comments: “His [evil] inclination, not his fellow’s.”

A common tendency is to project our own faults onto others. But not only our faults; it is also easy to project our desire for self-improvement onto another. “He’s got to work on himself.” In this way, we express our genuine desire for growth, but at no cost to ourselves. We do not feel the need to make any sacrifices or efforts, because this is his problem, and not our own. And if our own pangs of conscience are particularly severe, we can even be aggressive in our demand that our fellowman change, because we need a catharsis for the energy we feel.

The first step in “cutting one’s nails” is to look at the person we seek to rebuke with his benefit in mind. The sole goal of offering reproof should be his self-improvement. This will help us find creative ways to administer it, so that our words will appeal to him and stir his conscience, and not merely satisfy our own itch to criticize.9