דְּאָגָה בְלֶב אִישׁ יַשְׁחֶנָּה, וְאָמְרוּ רַזַ"ל שְׁנֵי פֵּרוּשִׁים: יַסִּיחֶנָּה מִדַּעְתּוֹ, יְשִׂיחֶנָּה לַאֲחֵרִים. וּפֵרֵשׁ הַצֶּמַח צֶדֶק: לַאֲחֵרִים רַק בְּגוּף, אֲבָל מְאוּחָדִים אִתּוֹ עִמּוֹ, שֶׁמַרְגִּישִׁים אֶת עִנְיָנוֹ.

It is written:1 “If there is worry in a man’s heart, he should minimize it2 (yashchenah).” Our Sages interpret this in two ways:3 (a) he should take his mind off it (yasichenah, spelled with the letter samech), or (b) he should relate it to others (yesichenah, spelled with the letter sin). On this the Tzemach Tzedek commented that “others” refers to people who are only physically separate from the speaker, but are united with him in spirit, sensitive to his concerns.4

A Faithful Shepherd

The Rebbe often told people to seek advice from yedidim meivinim (“friends who are knowledgeable [about the situation]”) or, in the case of medical questions, from a rofeh yedid (“a doctor who is a friend”). Why a “friend”? Because before one can give good advice, he has to first identify with the questioner and his pain.

Once, when the Rebbe Rashab was a young child, he and his brother, R. Zalman Aharon,5 who was a year older, were playing “Rebbe and chassid.” The Rebbe Rashab, who played the role of chassid, told his brother, the “Rebbe,” about a spiritual difficulty he was facing, and asked him how to correct it. His brother dulyprescribed for him a certain course of action.

Their mother, Rebbitzin Rivkah, had observed her children playing, and she noticed that the Rebbe Rashab did not follow his brother’s advice.

When she queried him about this, he replied: “My brother will never be a Rebbe. When a person comes to a Rebbe with a spiritual difficulty, the Rebbe first sighs in understanding and only then offers advice. It’s not the advice that helps; it’s the sigh. My brotherdidn’t sigh; he just answered.”6