Nichum Aveilim - The Traditional Text for Consoling the Mourner

Translation:
May the Almighty comfort you among the mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

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A source of comfort and practical guidance for family and friends, this book will guide you through the difficult times of illness and death, presenting Jewish tradition in a way that is both sensitive and instructive.

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Jim Burrows Drexel Hill, PA September 22, 2020

I have a legitimate question. For disclosure, I am not Jewish, but I want to be respectful at a funeral or sending condolences.
Someone said that the phrase “Rest in Peace” is not appropriate for Jewish members families as it implies a “Christian theology.”
Is this accurate?
Is it because you should say Ale-ha Ha-Shalom instead of Rest In Peace?
I hope my ignorance on this point is no offense. Reply

Liora Be'er Sheva September 22, 2020

in response to Jim Burrows:

There are several traditional sayings, which I actually found on Wikipedia by googling the abbreviation z"l (Anglicized from corresponding Hebrew letters).

Alternatively, you could say "May you know no more sadness." Having lost my own mother last year, this seems to me a good thing to say. I learned it in Israel, from an orthodox friend who made aliyah from England over 50 years ago. I trust her to know right things to say. I also am uncomfortable with platitudes, prefering things which seem heartfelt. This simple statement strikes a good balance. Reply

Jim Burrows Drexel Hill PA September 25, 2020

in response to Liora:

Thank you Liora. It seems that I could be more conscious of the phraseology. I will remember this moving forward. Reply

Liora Be'er Sheva September 30, 2020

in response to Jim Burrows:

You're welcome, Jim, though I don't understand what phraseology you could be more conscious of. You are trying to do the right thing, to show respect and caring, elevated to something culturally appropriate, and this, alone, means a lot. I sense that, whatever words you do speak, the family of the bereaved will appreciate and find comforting. Reply

Jude Comber Stonehouse, Glos. September 5, 2018

My foster mother passed away last night. She was not Jewish & due to my health & the distance 88 cannot attend her funeral. However, she was my mother for 6 wonderful years teaching me about G-d, love acts of kindness and above all she loved me. I have spent the past 24 hours in silence trying to come to terms with not just her passing but the fact I will never see her again. I aim to complete Shiva but until she has been buried what can I do other than gather the happy thoughts of my life with my foster family. Reply

Emese Oseni Scarborough October 1, 2018

in response to Jude Comber:

B'H,

That's all that matters. Hashem knows what is in your heart. May he bless you for being such a loving son just the same.

Think about the wonderful memories that you have of her. G-d bless you and your family. Reply

Liora Be'er Sheva November 28, 2017

When my older cousin was inconsolable at shiva for her husband, I told her that he loved her very much and did not want to leave her, and that he only left because he had to. That worked. It was what she needed to hear. She missed him so much... Reply

Yehudah WV September 7, 2017

please accept my condolences. Sorry for your loss. May Hashem strengthen you and yours. Reply

Adam Gorny Thornhill April 20, 2017

I am very sorry to hear of Your loss. Reply

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