“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you figure out why.” –Mark Twain
One morning in the early spring of 1988, a group of Chasidim gathered at the Rebbe’s home in Brooklyn to pray. This was a day of particular sorrow because it marked what would have been the eighty-seventh birthday of the Rebbe’s beloved wife, Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka Schneerson, who had passed away just a month prior.
The Rebbe had only recently returned from the traditional period of mourning to resume his communal responsibilities. At the conclusion of the day’s Shacharit, the Rebbe surprised all who had gathered by delivering a spontaneous discourse.
With a voice both commanding and tender, the Rebbe began to explicate the idea of V’hachai yiten el libo—And the living shall take to heart1 —a verse that urges the living to take heart and take action in the face of great loss. The Rebbe then introduced a novel way to honor the Rebbetzin’s memory and help elevate her precious soul. He announced that in honor of his wife’s passing, he was proposing a new, life-affirming custom: From now on, each and every Jew would be encouraged to celebrate their birthday in a spiritually uplifting fashion.
The Birthday Campaign, as it became known, would bring full circle the Baal Shem Tov’s foundational teaching that the birth of each individual is uniquely momentous and blessed with consecrated purpose.
Following in that spirit, the Rebbe offered a new way to think about and mark birthdays—not merely as a day of celebration, but also as a day of catalytic reflection and introspection.
“This, then, is the suggestion: From now on, it would be most appropriate…on the occasion of one’s birthday… [to] reflect on one’s past year’s accomplishment(s). This [inner reflection] should become the basis and foundation of new growth and continual ascent from one level to the next without any limits in all matters of goodness and holiness… [On one’s birthday,] one must take time for sincere introspection that he has become a year older, so that he must become a year wiser and a year more connected to G‑d.”2
After his announcement and call for every Jew to honor their birthdays, the Rebbe proceeded to introduce practical steps that anyone can take to honor this personal milestone in a way that optimizes their potential for growth and refinement.3
Additionally, a short while later, the Rebbe was involved in the publishing of a newspaper advertisement that called for everyone to celebrate their birthdays with the profound significance it deserves, with the headline: “Do not miss out on observing the most important day of your life!” The Rebbe also edited a special message that appeared in a full-page ad in The New York Times with the headline “Birthdays Matter.” Taken altogether, it was clear that the Rebbe was investing a great deal of attention and energy into what seemed like the most secular of all holidays.
The question for many was “Why?”
Why Do Birthdays Matter?
Until the launch of the Birthday Campaign, the significance of birthdays was historically downplayed in Jewish tradition, with widespread celebrations reserved for select Jewish sages and luminaries. Indeed, birthdays were mentioned only a few times by Talmudic Sages.
In fact, the only mention of a birthday in the Torah is a passage in which the Pharaoh uses his birthday to display his own power by rewarding and punishing his many servants.4
The Rebbe saw birthdays differently.5 In line with the teaching of the Baal Shem Tov cited above, he encouraged everyone to view their birthdays as the day on which they received their distinct, Divine calling and indispensable purpose.
From this perspective, rather than just being a day marking the passage of yet another year alive, the anniversary of your birth beckons you to celebrate your unique, Divine purpose and the tremendous power to impact the world that comes with it. Thus, your birthday is not just a day to simply sit back, relax, and receive your due; rather, it is a day to reflect on where you are at this moment of your journey of purpose and rededicate yourself to its ultimate fulfillment.
Indeed, the Rebbe went so far as to compare one’s birthday to a personal Rosh Hashanah. In much the same way that Rosh Hashanah marks the birthday of humankind and the day humanity was given its unique purpose and cosmic importance, one’s birthday is the day on which one receives their personally-tailored purpose, which is vital to the cosmic story of creation. Put differently, the day you were born is the day on which G‑d decided that the world cannot exist without you.
A Celebration of Your Purpose
Nowadays, birthdays often mark little more than a fleeting celebration of the day you arrived in this world, or perhaps a notable moment on the march toward the end of life. There may be fanfare, indulgence, and festive celebration, but the deeper meaning and spiritual significance of the average birthday is often lacking.
With the launch of the Birthday Campaign, the Rebbe elevated birthdays, insisting that one’s birthday resounds with the proclamation that you are not a product of mere chance or evolution. When it comes to the miracle of life, there are no mistakes. In a world with billions of people, G‑d decided that your soul could make a difference that no one else could make. The mere fact of your birth means there is a unique gift that you have to offer the world that no one who has ever lived, or will ever live, can provide. Hence, your birthday marks the momentous day you received the mandate and power to transform the world for the good.
With that dynamic in mind, birthdays become less of a blind procession of years and more of a holy cycle wed to the sacred spiral of time.
Mazal Tov!
In Jewish cosmology, the anniversary of a momentous event allows us to tap into the same spiritual energy that catalyzed the original occurrence, mirroring a concept inherent in Jewish festivals, which consist of layer upon layer of cycles dedicated to infusing life with renewed permutations of a historic day’s original power. Shabbat each week; Rosh Chodesh, the celebration of the new moon, each month; Rosh Hashanah and numerous Jewish festivals each year.
In this way, on the holy day of your birth, G‑d endowed you with a soul replete with unique talents and qualities, all radiating through your mazal—a personalized channel of Divine energy that flows into your life and this world from G‑d via the portion of His Divine essence that each of us receives at birth. The same potent energy present at our birth renews itself every year on our birthday, granting us the capacity to achieve more on that auspicious day than might be possible on other days.
In the Rebbe’s words:
“...On one’s birthday, he receives greater strength, because his mazal, his ‘fortune,’ radiates with extra strength [mazalo gover]. It is called mazal, from the Hebrew word for flow. It is the conduit through which Divine vitality descends upon the person, and which he uses to accomplish his mission below.”6
Based on the above, some have adopted the custom of offering blessings to family and friends on their birthday, thus harnessing their strengthened mazal in order to make optimum, sacred use of the extra spiritual potency present and available on their birthdays for the benefit of others.
This is just one example of the many ways we can celebrate and utilize the immense spiritual power of our birthdays. Below we will explore a number of other ways the Rebbe suggested we mark and elevate the anniversary of our birth.
How to Celebrate Birthdays
Along with proclaiming the general significance of birthdays, the Rebbe introduced a ten-point spiritual regimen to help infuse every birthday with spiritual significance. The Rebbe designed these powerful practices to help actualize the spiritual vitality of one’s birthday. The components of the Rebbe’s plan are briefly outlined below.
1. Aliyah: On the Shabbat preceding the birthdays of all males who are past bar mitzvah (older than thirteen), or on the actual birthday (if it is on a day when the Torah is read), they should be called to the Torah as a form of spiritual elevation.
2. Tzedakah: One is encouraged to give charity in an amount equal to the number of years they are celebrating, plus one.7 When a birthday occurs on Shabbat or Yom Tov, which precludes the handling of money, a double portion should be given on Friday.
3. Tefillah: During prayer, one should deeply contemplate the greatness of G‑d and infuse each prayer with special heart and intention. Remember, one’s spiritual strength is especially manifest on your birthday, so prayers should be chosen thoughtfully.
4. Tehillim: One should recite as much of the Book of Psalms as possible. In particular, in accordance with the instruction of the Baal Shem Tov, one should recite the chapter corresponding with their age plus one. One should learn the new chapter with special thoroughness and recite it with special emphasis throughout the year.
5. Torah: One should increase their Torah study by adding an extra lesson in addition to one’s regular study schedule.
6. Chazarat Dach: One should study teachings of Chasidut and share it with a group of friends on one’s birthday, or at the earliest opportunity.
7. Hafatzah: One should reach out and seek to spiritually inspire others, in the spirit of true ahavat Yisrael. Make a special effort to encourage others to do the same, exponentially amplifying the impact.8
8. Hitbonenut: Spend some time alone to reflect on the past, identify character flaws that need to be corrected, celebrate the ways you have lived up to your sacred purpose, and make special birthday resolutions for the coming year.
9. Hiddur Mitzvah: Make a special effort to enhance and vigorously perform a particular Divine commandment, as is customarily done on Rosh Hashanah.
10. Farbrengen: Host a farbrengen gathering with family and friends to give thanks to G‑d for your special day and the gift of your life and your purpose. Part of this celebration can involve eating a new seasonal fruit so you can recite the traditional Shehecheyanu blessing and thank G‑d for bringing you to this day.
Regardless of how you decide to honor the day of your birth, remember that all of your observances, blessings, prayers, and celebrations are supercharged with the spiritual energy that flows to and through you on your birthday. Every birthday is an auspicious opportunity to rededicate yourself to the unique and holy purpose for which you were born. When your birthday arrives, remember that there is nothing passing or frivolous about it. As the Rebbe often emphasized: Birth is G‑d’s way of saying you matter. The day of your birth marks an extraordinary opportunity to recognize and rededicate yourself anew to the singular, irreplaceable purpose for which you were created.
Quiz Yourself
Do the Thought Exercise
Think about how you’ve celebrated your birthday previously. What can you change, now, taking into account the Rebbe’s view and spiritual importance of the day?
Take the Challenge
Save the list of 10 birthday practices above, and set yourself a calendar alert, now, while it’s fresh in your mind, for your upcoming birthday.
My birthday was always special because I was born on my father's birthday. But it became more so when I learned it was also on Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the whole world; another day of reflection. My birthday falls on all the Feasts of Tabernacles at one time or another for 80 yrs. I was also born in the same year as the Equal Rights [for women] Amendment, was ratified. Through Chabad's beautiful commentary of the "Inner Woman" I learned that Woman was also equal to Man, becoming equal to man in wholeness; the way it was intended "In The Beginning"
Women are not exactly 'equal' to men, not are they meant to be, nor do they need to be. What is important is that women are valued by Hashem blessed be He. Due to the merit of women many positive things are recorded in the Torah and many more will happen rested to the coming of Moshiach and the World to Come. Men have roles and women have roles within the mitzvahs in the Torah. Each valued ad necessary for the world to be improved for G-d. That, is what matters. Besides if you watch any videos with the Rebbe of righteous memory you would see the respectful interactions he had with women and girls. Respect is necessary for anyone to feel that their contributions to our world are vital to G-d.
Regarding men and women not being equal- Recall that in Genesis it states:
“And G‑d created Man in His own image, in the image of G‑d He created him; male and female He created them....”
That is only one example illustrating the concept of male + female = 1 Whole. Regardless of differences in historical and societal roles, the equal importance and necessity of both man and woman cannot be denied.
Yes. The first person Adam was actually Chava also though they were back to back. G-d separated them so that they could face each other and marry.
The concept of 'equality' is not necessary in a Torah life. 'Equality' is a construct of modern society. For what purpose?
Did not deny the importance of both men or women. You seem to have missed what was said by me.
Sociologically children that have grown up in households where their mother working, "finding herself", serving her own needs and desires, proving she has "value", etc, has proven to be problematic. Children have no support system, no "soft place to land" when they get home from the challenges of school, are not learning and being guided since their mother's needs drain her attention to the children's issues of navigating our world. Their value in the family, and as future adults, is inconsequential. That is the result of women having to prove their "equality" via a paycheck. Children grow up on their own.
I am proof that you are absolutely incorrect with your assumptions about mothers that need to “ prove that they have value “ Your antiquated notion of what is best for a child shows a lack of understanding on how fathers can be just as nurturing as mothers. There are plenty of working mothers that are able to work as well as handle the responsibilities of a family, especially if they are married to men that are willing to take a more active parenting role. In fact, the only place there really is inequality between men and women is with regard to how much women get paid, and some of the more patriarchal laws of the Torah. Also, I don’t know where you got your facts from, but there are always studies that will give you the answers you are looking for even if they’re not entirely correct.
The Torah is G-d's Torah not man's so there is no patrilineal nonsense in it. G-d tells us how He wants His world to be. Those ideas are not 'antiquated'. They are timeless.
You had a man nurture children good for you. It is not the way G-d wants His world to run. He created mother's to nurture not fathers. It is and never will be the same. Studies by secular people, again, has no reference for G-d's world, which most could care less about.
Will not be communicating further with you since by your own words you are more concerned about yourself than G-d. Not my idea about how this world is to be perfected for G-d. Yet here you are on a Chabad site focused on G-d more than people. Fascinating.
There are people who think everything they work out, no matter how much it is counter to G-d's Torah, is acceptable for G-d's world. It is sad and disappointing. The coming of Moshiach is being pushed back due to these people. He will be here soon as it is G-d's will for him to be.
There are women I know that have raised 7 and 10 children and have a career. Their husbands certainly know how to be nurturing, despite your claim to know G-d’s will (I would like to know where in the Torah it says that men can’t be nurturing). Both of the women I refer to are orthodox rebbitzen.
As for “antiquated”, do you live in a tent? How many animals do you have? Did you have someone search for a wife for you and then see a 3yr old at a well and think “If it’s good enough for Isaac it’s good enough for me”?
I’m very happy you won’t be communicating with me further since your responses to me and others here illustrate that you are too fond of conflict and less concerned about open communication.
Lastly, with regard to “being concerned about people” rather than focusing on G-d… there’s no comparison. However as Jews we are supposed to be concerned about other Jews. I’m wondering what you are doing to help make this world a better place.
Your self righteousness nis disturbing. You don't want open communication except with people who agree with you. That is sad. Have been commenting on this site for years. People are not usually as hard hearted as you.
G-d made men not to be the primary nurturer. Ask Him why? Can fathers nurture? Of course. It is not their main quality as fathers.