How Do I Choose a Rabbi?
By Tzvi Freeman
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Question:
I've got a few choices here in town of different styles and flavors of rabbis
and congregations. How do I choose? Is there a simple test to determine who is fit to be
my rabbi?
--Choosing Jew
Answer:
Dear Choosing,
Here are two litmus tests you can administer to any rabbi. You'll need a
stopwatch:
Test #1:
- Ask the rabbi, "Rabbi, do you believe in G-d?"
- Start the stopwatch.
- When you hear the word, "yes", stop the watch and record the time.
Test #2:
- Ask the rabbi, "Okay, let's say they tie you to a post on a pile of kerosene-soaked wood and these guys in black hoods standing around with torches who look like they've done this before tell you, "Just say that this Judaism stuff is a bunch of nonsense and we'll let you go." Your answer is...?
- Start the stopwatch.
- When you hear the words Shma Yisrael... ("Hear O Israel, G-d is our G-d, G-d is one") or some other convincing show of absolute commitment, stop the watch and record the time.
Results:
- 0-2 seconds: That's why we are still here today.
- 3-10 seconds: Okay, maybe he was just shocked by the question.
- 11 seconds to never: If he doesn't really believe in it, why should we?
Sources: Test #1 is the invention of Dr. Judah Landes, a psychologist who used it to determine his rabbi when he was a senior researcher at Stanford. Test #2 was also used many times, but for less honorable purposes and not by psychologists.
Send in your results!
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Not obvious unless she knows the laws of modesty etc
Many? What are the others?
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Dear Suzanne,
It seems from your comment that you're may be unfamiliar with Chabad. Although a Rabbi won't come to your house to study with you alone (for many obvious reasons), he may visit your home with his Rebbetzin (wife), invite you to a class with others or invite you to their own home! Also, you can approach the Rabbi's wife to study. Typically Chabad Rebbetzins are as knowledgeable as their husbands and since they see the world from a feminine perspective they may be more sensitive and understanding.
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Yes, when I teach a class, I encourage questions, but only because most students are shy and fear looking foolish. I do not allow one person to monopolize the session. But if I am tutoring only one individual, in person, s/he can ask questions constantly, as many as s/he needs.
Do you think a Hasidic rabbi will come to my home to learn with me even if I have questions about every single line we learn? And can we learn Talmud? That is difficult material and evokes many many questions. When I learned Talmud in a class, I had to restrict the number of questions I could ask or we would never have gotten through even one paragraph!!! That is the nature of learning in groups of more than three.
Thank you, Mindy. But what do I do to receive this one-on-one tutoring where I can ask all of my questions?
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