בִּרְכַּת שֶׁפְּטָרַנִי מְבָרְכִים בְּלֹא שֵׁם וּמַלְכוּת, וּמְבָרְכִים אוֹתָהּ גַּם בְּיוֹם ב', ה', בְּרֹאשׁ חֹדֶשׁ, וְלַאו דַּוְקָא בְּשַׁבָּת.

The blessing Baruch ShePtarani1 should be recited without mentioning G‑d’s Name or Kingship.2 It is customarily recited also on Monday, Thursday, or Rosh Chodesh, and not only on Shabbos.3

מְקוּבָּל בְּיָדֵינוּ בְּשֵׁם מוֹרֵנוּ הַבַּעַל שֵׁם טוֹב: כְּשֶׁשּׁוֹמְעִים דָּבָר לֹא טוֹב עַל אֶחָד מִיִּשְׂרָאֵל, גַּם אִם אֵין מַכִּירִים אוֹתוֹ, צָרִיךְ לְהִצְטַעֵר צַעַר רַב, כִּי אֶחָד מֵהֶם הוּא בְּוַדַּאי לֹא טוֹב: אִם אֱמֶת הַדָּבָר שֶׁמְּסַפְּרִים עַל פְּלוֹנִי, הֲלֹא הוּא לֹא טוֹב, וְאִם אֵינוֹ אֱמֶת הֲלֹא הַמְּסַפֵּר נִמְצָא בְּמַצָּב לֹא טוֹב.

We have received the following tradition from the Baal Shem Tov: If one hears an unfavorable report about another Jew, even a stranger, one should be deeply distressed, for either of two undesirable factors is true: If the unfavorable report is true, that is undesirable. And if it is untrue, the person conveying it is in an undesirable situation.4

Living as a Chassid

The venerable Talmudic sage, R. Nechuniah ben HaKanah, was once asked by his disciples: “By virtue of what have you been blessed with such longevity?” His first answer was, “Never in my life did I seek to exalt myself by belittling another.”5

A truly secure individual, whose self-esteem is neither tottering nor inflated, feels no need to muster strength by pointing out the faults of others. On the contrary, that kind of talk distresses him, because it makes him aware that a fellow Jew — either the speaker or his prey — is in a position of weakness.

Moreover, that same inner security will motivate him to respond with care and compassion. His thoughtful regard will then hopefully empower the speaker to uncover his own resources of confidence and strength, and to perceive the object of his comments in a positive light.

This is by no means a cut-and-dried issue. In his Shulchan Aruch,6 the Alter Rebbe defines not only the classic forms of undesirable speech, such as slander and gossip, but also gives examples of their subtler guises — small talk that is seemingly innocent, or ostensibly complimentary, or suggestively ambiguous.