כָּל הַקָּדוֹשׁ בְּעַם אֱלֹקֵי אַבְרָהָם וִיְסוֹד בֵּית יִשְׂרָאֵל, בְּהַעֲמָדַת דּוֹר יְשָׁרִים וְחִנוּכָם, בְּכַשְׁרוּת הָאוֹכֶל, וַאֲצִילוּת טוֹהַר קְדוּשַׁת הַשַּׁבָּת, מָסַר וְנָתַן הַשֵּׁם הַנִּכְבָּד וְהַנּוֹרָא עַל יְדֵי נְשֵׁי יִשְׂרָאֵל לְשָׁמְרָם וּלְעָבְדָם.

הָאִשָּׁה אֲשֶׁר תְּמַלֵּא חוֹבָתָהּ וּתְעוּדָתָהּ בְּחַיֵּי הַמִּשְׁפָּחָה, בְּהַנְהָגַת הַבַּיִת וּבְחִנוּךְ עַל פִּי הַתּוֹרָה, עָלֶיהָ הַכָּתוּב אוֹמֵר חָכְמוֹת נָשִׁים בָּנְתָה בֵּיתָהּ.

All that is holy in the nation of the G‑d of Avraham and fundamental for the House of Israel, in raising and educating an upright generation regarding the kashrus of food and the lofty purity of the holiness of Shabbos, was entrusted and endowed by the revered and awesome G‑d to Jewish women to guard and to cultivate.

To a woman who fulfills her obligation and her calling in the area of family life, directing her household and educating [her children] according to the Torah, the following verse can be applied:1 “The wisdom of a woman builds her home.”2

Living in This World

A well-known Lubavitcher rabbi was addressing a student audience on women’s issues. In the middle of the discussion, one lively young woman confronted him sharply: “Tell us, Rabbi, what does your wife do?”

True, it may not have been an appropriate question to have asked. They had been talking in the abstract about how women and men should live their lives. There was no need to touch on the personal affairs of the rabbi or of anyone else. On the other hand, what the woman was really saying was, “Rabbi, if your ideals are not reflected in your personal life, I’m not interested!”

The rabbi answered: “My wife manages a home for eight children. No one else wants them. For them she is everything — mother, counselor, teacher, social worker. She even teaches them how to manage the housework and the cooking.”

His listeners glowed. Here, at last, was a rabbi whose wife was liberated. She was not shackled to her home; she had a career. But as they continued talking, they realized that those eight little souls were the rabbi’s own children, and the home his wife managed was her own.

At first, they protested: the rabbi had misled them. His wife was a typical rabbi’s wife, stuck at home with nothing to do but care for the children.

The rabbi listened and smiled: “When you thought that my wife ran a home for others, it was okay. But when she runs her own home, it’s no longer good enough?”

Homemaking is a career, and mothering is a career. Both — or either — can contribute to a woman’s sense of fulfillment at least as much as anything she can do elsewhere.