Yom Kippur: At-One-Ment
My family recently celebrated the marriage of my youngest sister. The music played, the wine flowed, and we laughed, danced and cried.
But there was a moment that went somewhat unnoticed. Just after the glass was shattered and mazal tovs rang out, the bride and groom spent ten minutes in a private room—the wedding planner didn’t allow them any more than that—before coming back to the hall for dinner (and more pictures, of course).
Known as yichud, these moments of privacy are the most unceremonious part of the ceremony. Neither the rabbi, the parents, the caterers, or even the photographers were there. According to Jewish law, it is precisely this private moment that defines them as a married couple. They are now exclusively each other’s in a relationship that is theirs to forge. I’d venture to say that their pre-wedding single selves are not invited in into the yichud room either.
If the holiday month of Tishrei is a wedding, Yom Kippur is the yichud room. The other holidays involve external rituals: blowing shofars, shaking lulavs. On Yom Kippur, there is just us, fasting and talking to G‑d. For twenty-five hours we are all alone with our spouse. Our relationship will not be defined by the caterer (maybe that is why we fast), the rabbi’s speech or the cantor’s singing. We set the tone for the beginning of an intimate relationship with G‑d, where the neighbors, the angels, and even our last year’s selves aren’t welcome.
Mazal tov and an easy fast!
Baruch Shalom Davidson
Responder for the Ask the Rabbi team @ Chabad.org
P.S. For times, insights and lots of great Yom Kippur info, check out our Yom Kippur minisite.
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