The Three Weeks, beginning on the 17th of Tammuz and concluding with the 9th of Av (Tisha B’Av), are a solemn period of mourning that commemorates a series of tragic events in Jewish history, primarily the destruction of the First and Second Temples in Jerusalem.

During the Three Weeks, we express our mourning in various ways, including refraining from joyful activities this entire time and fasting on both 17 Tammuz and 9 Av.

During the last nine days of the Three Weeks, starting from Rosh Chodesh Av (the first day of the month of Av) and culminating on the 9th of Av, there is another period called the Nine Days, when the mourning is heightened.

What is not allowed during the Three Weeks? In general, we avoid activities that bring us joy. This includes hosting or participating in certain celebrations, enjoying music, purchasing new garments, and some elements of personal grooming.

Let’s discuss each of those categories in detail.

Weddings and Engagements

Can I get married during the Three Weeks?

Ashkenazim don’t get married during the Three Weeks.1 Some Sephardim don’t get married during the entirety of the Three Weeks,2 while some only refrain for the last Nine Days.3

Can an Ashkenazi Jew attend a Sephardic wedding during the Three Weeks?

Opinions vary on this matter.4 If you’re facing this decision, consult with a competent Orthodox rabbi.

What about Sheva Brachot, which are celebrated for a week after a wedding?

You are permitted to conduct and attend Sheva Brachot during the Three Weeks. According to most opinions, you should not have music or dancing.5

Can I get engaged during the Three Weeks?

Yes, you can get engaged throughout the Three Weeks, including the Nine Days (and even the Ninth of Av itself if need be).6

During the first part of the Three Weeks, you can celebrate the engagement with a festive meal but without music and dancing.7

During the Nine Days, you can celebrate with light refreshments but not a sit-down meal, and certainly without music and dancing.8

Listening to Music

Playing or listening9 to music (live or recorded) brings us joy and is therefore prohibited during the Three Weeks.10

Can I listen to a capella or other music made without actual instruments?

There are differences of opinion regarding listening to vocals. Some permit listening to it,11 while others are strict.12 Some differentiate between a capella that is meant to simulate actual joyous music, and other vocals.

There is room to be lenient and listen to slow songs (aka nigunim) that are recorded primarily with vocals, even if some musical accompaniment can be discerned in the background.13

Can I listen to elevator music?

Generally, you don’t need to worry about music that is playing in the background, so it’s permitted to hear music while shopping or being put on hold.14

I’m a musician. Can I play during the Three Weeks?

If you play professionally and your livelihood is dependent upon it, you may continue to play until the Nine Days.15 If you must play then as well, consult a qualified rabbi.

Can a child take music lessons?

Some permit a child to take music lessons if it's not for pleasure and if they may lose some of their skills if they don’t take the lessons. However, they should try to practice with non-joyous music.16

Can I listen to music to help keep me up while I drive?

Yes. In fact, if you need it, not only would you be allowed to listen, but you may be obligated to do so.17

Can I listen to music for therapeutic reasons?

If you suffer from a mental health condition and music helps you maintain your mental health, it is generally permitted to listen to music (consult a qualified rabbi if you’re unsure whether you’re included). However, if possible, it is best to pick music that some would allow in any case, such as a capella or slow music.18

The Joyous Shehecheyanu Blessing

The Shehecheyanu blessing is traditionally recited when experiencing something new or special, such as tasting fruit that just came into season or wearing new clothing. We generally try to avoid things that would warrant making this blessing during the Three Weeks.19

Can I eat new fruit or wear new clothing on Shabbat during the Three Weeks?

Some are lenient20 regarding making a Shehecheyanu on Shabbat (and Rosh Chodesh Av), while others are of the opinion that one should refrain from making a Shehecheyanu even on Shabbat.21 The Chabad custom, however, is to refrain from eating new fruit or wearing new clothing on Shabbat and Rosh Chodesh.22

Does the restriction apply to all clothing?

No, it only applies to wearing new clothing of significant worth that would (in theory) warrant the Shehechayanu blessing. Thus, you may wear new underwear or socks.23

Does this restriction apply to wearing or purchasing new garments?

Since nowadays the custom is not to recite the Shehecheyanu blessing over clothing, technically, one can purchase new clothing until the Nine Days. (This is because the restrictions on new clothing during the Three Weeks are primarily due to the Shehechayanu blessing. During the Nine Days, there is an additional issue of “decreasing in joy,” independent of Shehecheyanu.24 ) In practice, however, many are of the opinion that you should refrain from doing so since it still brings a measure of joy. This is especially true regarding expensive clothing like suits or gowns. However, as mentioned, items such as shoes and undergarments may be purchased until the Nine Days. Furthermore, some even permit the purchase of inexpensive weekday attire.25

Can I buy clothing if they are heavily discounted now?

If there is a big sale and you would be unable to purchase the clothing at the same price after the Three Weeks, you may purchase it and refrain from wearing it until after the Ninth of Av.26

Does this apply to big-ticket items such as a refrigerator or a car?

Since the custom is generally not to make a Shehecheyanu on these items, you may purchase them during the Three Weeks. Some, however, refrain from doing so, since these purchases tend to bring a measure of joy. If the item is needed or significantly discounted, one is permitted to purchase it during the Three Weeks.27

May I buy or move into a new home during the Three Weeks?

You may sign a contract on a new home during the Three Weeks, especially if you do not want to lose out on a good deal.28 However, the custom is to try to delay moving in until after this period, which is considered an “inauspicious time.”29

Regardless of when you move in, you should not hold a Chanukat Habayit (housewarming feast) until after the Three Weeks.

Haircuts and Beauty

Cutting your hair during the Three Weeks is prohibited. This includes all facial hair and hair on any part of the body (see footnote regarding women30 ).31 Most Sephardic communities have the custom of only refraining from cutting hair during the week of the Ninth of Av.32

Are there any exceptions?

If a man’s mustache interferes with eating, he may trim it.33 A married woman may cut her hair if she is having difficulty keeping it all covered or for mikvah purposes.34

Can I cut my nails during the Three Weeks?

You can cut your nails until the week of the Ninth of Av.35

Can I cut or style my wig during the Three Weeks?

Until the Nine Days, you can cut, wash and style your wig, as it is considered clothing, not hair.36

Can I cut the hair of a boy who turned three during the Three Weeks?

When a boy turns three years old during the Three Weeks, the traditional first haircut (upshernish) is delayed until after midday on 10 Av. However, other customs associated with the upshernish, such as wearing a kippah and tzitzit, saying blessings, etc., should begin on the actual day of the boy's birthday.37

Miscellaneous

Are there restrictions on dangerous activities during the Three Weeks?

Since the Three Weeks are generally considered an especially ominous time, we try to avoid needlessly doing dangerous activities. This especially applies during the Nine Days.

Read: Avoiding Danger During the 9 Days

Can I go swimming during the Three Weeks?

One is permitted to go swimming up until Rosh Chodesh Av. One should, however, exercise caution during these days and not swim in dangerous waters.38

Focus on Rebuilding the Temple

During the Three Weeks, in addition to observing the mentioned rules and restrictions, reflect on the imperfect state of the world and consider how you can contribute to its improvement through acts of goodness and kindness. The Rebbe emphasized the importance of increased Torah study and charity during this period, as expressed in the verse "Zion shall be redeemed by law, and her returnees by charity."

Specifically, the Rebbe39 emphasized the study of Torah portions related to the construction of the Holy Temple. These practices are based on a dialogue found in the Midrash,40 in which G‑d told Ezekiel that when we learn about the Holy Temple, it is as if it is being rebuilt. May it be speedily in our days!

Note: The above are the laws for the Three Weeks until Rosh Chodesh Av. During the last nine days of the Three Weeks, starting from Rosh Chodesh Av and culminating on the 9th of Av, there is another period called the Nine Days, which includes even more stringent practices of mourning.See: The Nine Days—Laws and Customs