Can This Marriage Be Saved?

My husband never does anything around the house unless I nag him. If I nag him, he complains that all I ever do is nag. I feel like I just can't win.

The most stable unions are among couples who have found ways to air differences without escalating into personal attacks or retreating into stony silence. They have mastered these eight elements...

There is a human tendency to look around and see what's better. So it's perfectly understandable that we look at other's marriages or spouses and compare them to our own.

I have become more ritually observant and my wife is not. I understand that this is not what she "signed up for." My question is how to get past my daily frustration especially when it comes to our being role models for our three daughters.

In the pre-marital phase we are focused on "what am I getting." In the post-marital state our focus shifts from to "what am I giving."

My husband and I were Shabbat guests in the home of a couple whom we later learned had decided to get divorced. I can't reconcile the warm and friendly atmosphere in their home with a couple on the verge of divorce...

"I'm really sorry. I was totally wrong." Ahhh. The words we love to hear. Just say them and I'll stop sulking, snarling and glaring...

She speaks strong words, "control," "power," and yet when she speaks of her husband there's no sense of a man who is controlling or unrelenting. Something is there that frightens her, but it's not, I feel, this man.

My mother and my grandmother both say that a married woman needs to know how to keep a few secrets. Do spouses in healthy marriages still have secrets from each other? Is there such a thing as too much honesty?

Those who live harmoniously with a spouse usually have a couple of good tricks up their sleeves. One strategy that is lauded by the Talmud is keeping one's mouth closed when feeling provoked...

A while back I attended a marital enrichment workshop which presented many ideas of how to foster the "perfect" relationship.These recipes can be useful as springboards to discussions but can also sometimes lead to more relationship problems...

Many people feel frustrated because they have "nothing in common" with their spouses. But lack of commonality is not an aberration in marriage--it is marriage

In any relationship – husband/wife, teacher/student, parent/child – one of the best ways to diffuse a tense or difficult situation is simply to think in terms of asking a question rather than preaching, nagging, begging, ordering, threatening, shaming, commanding.

If you are married to a "bachelor" type, you soon learn that you cannot force another person to grow up. No amount of nagging, hounding, threatening and moralizing helps. The most important thing you can do is focus on your choices...

After work, all my husband wants to do is relax, watch a movie and have a beer. I am interested in learning, growing, and trying new things. It makes it hard for me to respect him when I see him wasting his time, and his life like this.

Ephraim left the house in a tiff, slamming the door hard to make a statement. This was the end. She'd gone too far

Several months ago, my wife gave birth pre-maturely to a stillborn. It was horrible and shocking. Yet now that some time has passed, I can't understand why my wife is still grieving like it just happened yesterday...

The Relationship Rule puts it simply: "I only give and I only accept respectful communication." Living by this rule goes a long way to ensure that one's relationships will be healthy and harmonious.

If I am happily married, and I believe that I am, why am I still lonely? Shouldn't a good marriage "cure" all these feelings of loneliness?

When difficulties arise, it is only human nature to focus on what's not working, what's not perfect, rather than what could possibly be workable. Because the pain and darkness are so pervasive – it feels as if "it's all wrong" or "there's nothing good anymore."

Criticism hurts. It hurts so much it can destroy any relationship. Yet, despite the cost of criticism, most spouses use this communication tool liberally. They think it's their "right" to honestly show their feelings...

Therapists are tormented at times with the question of the hopelessness or hopefulness of a marriage. Yes, anyone can change. However, before change takes place, these four conditions must be met...

I have seen the worst marriages--marriages characterized by many years of dysfunctional and abusive behaviors--change. Here are eight key steps necessary for positive change....

My husband wants to get away without the kids for a few nights. He says we need a break from playing Mommy and Daddy. I don't understand why he thinks this is so important. Is it so bad to take the kids with us when we go away?

H=QR means that Happiness (H) is directly proportional to the Quality of Relationship (QR) one develops with one's spouse. The more that a couple works on deepening both the quality and quantity of their relationship, the greater likelihood they have for success.

Asking for change causes pain, because it implies that what we're doing right now isn't good or good enough. Here are some steps in how to offer more productive criticism...

My wife is totally and madly in love with our new baby, and every conversation revolves around the baby. I feel shut out by the intensity of their relationship. Will I ever get my wife back?

When we speak about the beauty of marriage, we speak of deep commitment and selfless, unconditional love. But what does that really mean? Are we ever really selfless? And "unconditional commitment"--what if someone feels betrayed?

No one likes being criticized, blamed, or belittled for their behavior, especially in marriage, where close daily contact necessitates a high level of sensitivity and understanding.

My wife decided to see a psychologist about her fears and anxieties, and I supported her decision. Yet now that she has been seeing her therapist for a few months, she has a lot of complaints about our marriage that she never had before. Is the therapy ruining our relationship?

When you make your spouse the #1 person in your life, this is the very act of loving a fellow Jew. Their needs and wellbeing come first, before your own...

When marriage is neglected, it dies – just like a plant that isn't watered. Very few ever ask themselves: "what have I done to create this mess? And what have I done to prevent it?"

Of course, the way to build emotional equity in marriage is to make as many deposits as possible. Every time you tell your spouse that you appreciate them, and their actions, you are building more emotional wealth...

"Don't tell me how to raise my children!" he shouts at her. Clearly, she hasn't yet cured him of his tendency to raise his voice. He's now yelling at her, as well as the children...

I badger my husband for everything, from the tie he chooses to wear, to the way he talks to me, to the odd hours he keeps. Of course, my criticism doesn't help anyone. How can I learn to bite my tongue?

When a spouse expresses anger, a peace-seeker can learn not to catch the emotion. An excellent strategy is to respond to someone's rage with sincere interest and curiosity...

My heart skipped a beat as I grasped that this child had already internalized a harsh reality, i.e. "To feel is to fail." To be a "man" means to be tough, in full control of one's emotions and immunized against fear, pain and sadness.

It is depressing to look across the table and see a large lump of inconsideration, sloppiness, indifference, impatience, selfishness, irritability or whatever...

Left unchecked, a fantasy can breed widespread dissatisfaction, and eat away at the roots of your relationship. Therefore, it is important to recognize and respect your instinct to avoid interacting with this couple...

Though it may appear that love engenders a giving attitude, actually, giving is what brings about love. A person comes to love the one to whom he gives...

When people first choose a marriage partner, they perceive differences with tolerance. However, once a couple lives together in marriage, those differences take on a new, less favorable, appearance...

Whenever I would meet a long-married couple who appeared to have a good relationship, I would interview them about their marriage and listen to their stories. I began to recognize recurring principles...

"He has to grow up! I need a husband who is a real partner, not a lazy good-for-nothing who won't take responsibility and is totally clueless about my needs!" Her husband sat hunched in his chair, looking like a hapless cat...

After many years, however, a truly loving marriage becomes a rarer commodity. Along the way, things sour romantic and caring feelings. And yet, it doesn't have to be this way at all...

My husband got a Blackberry for work purposes. The problem is that now his co-workers expect him to be on-call 24/7. He is always opening emails in the middle of dinner, while reading the kids a bedtime story, or even while we are taking a walk...

In reality, the seed of pain becomes the seed for growth. When you discard the pain, you throw away the information it can give you...

Couples who conduct Marriage Meetings report a twenty to eighty percent increase in happiness with their relationship, as these meetings foster a loving connection, a sense of teamwork, and a respectful resolution of conflicts...

When we feel understood, honored and loved, we are more likely to listen to others' concerns about changing an aspect of our personalities.

The big three refers to the three sources of conflict for married couples: who does the housework, how to divide up the childcare, and how to manage money.