I Want a Kosher Kitchen, My Husband Wants Shrimp!

This seems to be disrespectful to treat one's husband in this way,( i.e. Designate an area for him, Set them aside aside for your husband, giving him his space, etc) as though he were only a guest to "your" kitchen, or a small child. After all, it is his kitchen too. Wouldn't a better way be to take the second portion of this advice first? Cook delicious Kosher foods he can't resist, no nagging, etc. Reply

Wonderful! I love everyone's comments, so positive, helpful, and empathic! It's comforting to know that others have worked through this so smoothly and with good humour! Thanks for all your posts. Reply

The best is for the spouse to show that they are a better spouse as a result of being religious, then the other will prefer this change and have no problem cooperating.

I doubt the Rebbe would suggest a way to eat not kosher, that's not an orthodox rabbi or rebbetzins place. The family can figure a way to make a seperation, instead focus on not the "what" but the "why".

Apologetics won't work. Reply

Wife Wants Kosher Kitchen, but Husband Doesn't You can't force your husband against his will to keep kosher just because YOU want to, but you can tell him how important it is to you, and suggest a healthy compromise.

As for shrimp, your husband can go out to restaurants to eat it, but not bring it into the house. Some people keep kosher at home, but not outside the home. Would you consider that? Reply

Wow - same here! We also have a divided kitchen, and we keep our dishes and utensils separate. Thank G-d for self-cleaning ovens! When we moved into our present house, I had a row of cabinets added so as to accommodate my dairy and my meat dishes. I also had a stainless-steel sink put in. Year-round, my part of the kitchen looks like Pesach because of all the aluminum foil! You have to do the best you can, and do it with humor. Reply

kosher in non-kosher kitchen To address the concerns of "too optimistic" above:
I keep kosher, my husband doesn't, guests and visitors don't. So I keep my own pots and knife in a separate storage place, use disposable plates and forks etc, cover the kitchen counter with newspaper when preparing food, and I have my own microwave and counter-top over for my use only. If I want to use the "big oven" I double-wrap (or triple!) in aluminum foil. When I freeze extra portions, I mark the ziplock bag with a "K" with a Sharpee marker, to avoid confusion. It might not work for a large family, but for us it works fine. Reply

too optimistic You have to look at the reality too: is it possible that a few drops of shrimp juice will splatter onto a counter? Of course. Is it possible that someone cooking shrimp will rub their juicy shrimp hands momentarily on their pants which will rub on the doorframe which will get touched by the hands of a child who you'll pick up and kiss? Why not. The reality is that a kitchen where shrimp or pork is cooked is not a kosher kitchen. Accept this reality and take every precaution. Reply

Wash the dishes seperately an important point to remember especially when having a split kitchen, is that the treif dishes need to be washed separately from the kosher ones, just as the milk and meat dishes get washed separately. Reply

Kitchen We do something similar .... I was raised conservative and don't eat pork or shellfish, and don't mix milk and meat. My husband was rasied in a small town up north and they only had a visiting rabbi once a month.

My hubby did not grow up keeping kosher. When we moved to our first house, we had some extra dishes and utensils, and typically did not use the back burners on the stove. We used a similar system.

I did the grocery shopping and would not buy pork or shellfish. But if he had leftovers from a meal out, we have these extra dishes and utensils that are available for his use. We took the idea from a college friend who kept kosher but had apartment mates who were not Jewish. It's worked great! Reply

Kosher Kompromise That's a great idea! I would have never thought of setting aside some kitchen space for the preparation of non-kosher foods. I want to kosher our kitchen and my husband does not; however, the majority of food items we buy, even beef and chicken, are kosher so it makes sense to cook it in a kosher kitchen. I'll run this by him. How can he object? Reply

Koshering up shared space Thank you so much for these good tips. I have a flatmate and have had to color code the kitchen, which is shared. Even my own grandparents, who were observant, had a color coded kitchen. It makes it easier for all who use the shared space, especially for children.

My flatmate has her own cutting board and set of knives and cooking utensils. She knows which pans are for certain foods but prefers to make a sandwich or heat up leftovers in the microwave, anyway. Thankfully she is also sensitive to my needs as far as keeping a kosher kitchen goes and she also reaps the benefits when I am the one doing the cooking.

I have heard of some kitchens having even two dishwashers or two sets of sinks. That is not always possible, especially when one does not own the home or is on a budget as many of us are. Keeping it as simple as you did in your answer gives me hope. Reply