Joseph taught us to repay evil with goodness, just as he did with his brothers, sustaining them for the rest of his life. He was able to forgive his brothers not only because he was a master of self-control, but chiefly because he understood the nature of human evil. As we have seen, the brothers’ evil act of selling him into slavery served G‑d’s plan that Joseph eventually become viceroy of Egypt. Joseph focused on the positive outcome of his brothers’ acts rather than on their evil essence.
Similarly, we ask G‑d to treat us like Joseph treated his brothers, perceiving our misdeeds as being ultimately for the good and responding to them with kindness. In order to “inspire” G‑d to see our misdeeds as being ultimately for the good, we must first do the same ourselves, by utilizing our misdeeds as motivation for self-improvement. The misdeed that fuels this transformation thus becomes a merit, retroactively serving a good purpose.
We can further enhance our ability to transform our own misdeeds into merits by training ourselves to see other people’s offenses as potential merits, as well.1


I find it very hard to forgive those who have harmed you and yours through horrible actions that should had been stopped long ago. Does that make me a bad person myself? I shall state that my first two miracles (children) were badly abused by their father's parents. Today they are adults but one has been having a tough time moving onwards and cannot leave the house nor find a husband due to what she suffered when very young from her grandfather. Her brother has married and has determined never to have children. This hurts me but I know what it is from.
Hello Hinda,
Though I am just seeing this now in Jan 2025, I have prayed for you and your children, and will continue to do so