I. Preparing the Body and Making the Funeral Arrangements:
The Jewish Way--Interment in the Earth. Jewish law is unequivocal in its insistence that the body, in its entirety, be returned to the earth, in a way that allows for the natural process of its decomposition and re-integration with its primordial source--the soil of which it was formed. It also insists that in the interim between death and interment, the integrity and dignity of the body be respected and preserved. Thus Torah law forbids embalming the body (which involves disposing much of the body's innards and "re-making" its hollowed-out shell), displaying it (a vulgar affront to its dignity and privacy) or cremating it (which prematurely and violently destroys it). Autopsies, which violate the body's integrity and almost always result in parts of it not achieving proper burial, are likewise forbidden, except in extreme circumstances (a qualified rabbi should be consulted in such cases).
The Chevra Kadisha. Every Jewish community has a Chevra Kadishah--lit., "Holy Society"--of dedicated men and women who are committed to ensuring that every Jew who passes on is accorded a proper Jewish burial. The preparation and interment of the body should be entrusted to the local Chevra Kadishah. They will conduct the Taharah (cleansing of the body), dress the deceased in the tachrichim, and otherwise ensure that the burial is conducted in accordance with Jewish tradition.
Jewish Burial. A Jew should be buried only among fellow Jews, in a Jewish cemetery. Jewish tradition regards it as a matter of great importance that only fellow Jews should handle the body of a deceased Jew, carry (or wheel) the casket, place the casket in the earth and fill in the grave. Every possible effort should be made that this indeed be the case.
II. Basic Components of the Funeral Service:
Rending of the Garments ("Keriah"). First-degree relatives (i.e., the children, siblings, spouse and parents of the deceased) are obligated to express their pain and sorrow by tearing their clothes over their hearts. This
is usually done at the beginning of the funeral service. (Alternatively, some communities have the custom to perform the keriah immediately following the death, or upon the interment in the grave.)
The Eulogy ("Hesped") involves: a) speaking of the good that the deceased was and did, so we should feel the extent of our loss; and b) "let the living take to heart" (Ecclesiastes 7:2)--the lessons we should learn from the deceased and emulate in our lives. These words may be spoken by the officiating rabbi and/or anyone who knew the person.
Escorting the Deceased ("Lavayah"). Traditionally the
coffin or bier was carried on the shoulders all the way to the cemetery. The
family and community would follow in a procession to accord honor and comfort
to the deceased. Nowadays, the long distance to burial places usually
precludes this, but it is still important to walk behind the coffin some
distance--either before the hearse leaves for the cemetery, or at the cemetery
when the coffin is carried from the hearse to the gravesite--thereby fulfilling the important mitzvah of halvayat ha-met, "escorting the deceased."
The Burial ("Kevurah"). We return the body to the earth that is its source. This is our final act of caring, and it is considered a great mitzvah to physically participate in the burial. Ideally, the whole grave should be filled in, by hand, by fellow Jews. Where this is not possible, at least the coffin should be completely covered with earth. At this point, Tzidduk Hadin is recited--a series of verses acknowledging G-d's just ways even as we confront tragedy. We then recite the Kaddish and the El Malei Rachamim memorial prayer. (Click here for the texts of Tzidduk Hadin, the Kaddish and El Malei Rachamim)
Comforting the Mourners. We begin the mourning process and the extending of comfort to the mourners immediately after the burial, while still in the cemetery. Those attending the burial form two parallel lines, and the mourners, who by now have removed their leather shoes, pass through this embracing community. Those standing in the lines speak the traditional words of comfort: Hamakom yenacheim etchem betoch shaar avelei tziyon v'yerushalayim--"May the Almighty comfort you among all the other mourners of Zion and Jerusalem." The mourning then moves to the locale that is chosen for the seven day Shivah mourning period. (The further stages of mourning are discussed in the following section, Shivah and Mourning)