In parshat Vayeshev we read about Joseph, the future viceroy of Egypt. We read how, when living in Egypt, he became a slave to Potiphar and became successful. Potiphar then put him in charge of his entire estate. The Torah tells us that Joseph was "of beautiful build and beautiful appearance."1 Rashi2 explains that this means that he started to curl his hair. In other words, once he was put in charge of Potiphar's estate, he started to indulge in delicacies and pay attention to his looks. Because of this, Potiphar's wife began to take a particular interest in him.3 This led to him to being thrown into prison. And even in prison, the Torah tells us that "whatever he did, G‑d made successful."4

Every story in the Torah is meant to be a lesson to us, especially in our service to G‑d.

What are some of the lessons hidden in this story?

This article will focus on several details of the story. First, that Joseph was "of beautiful build and beautiful appearance." Second, that Potiphar's wife began to take an interest in him. And how G‑d made him successful throughout.

Joseph's Beauty

When Joseph was born, his mother, Rachel, named him Joseph, as if to say, "yosef Hashem li ben acheir,"5 which translates as, "G‑d should add to me another son." Alternatively, there is a Chasidic teaching6 that translates it, “Joseph should make for Me (G‑d) a son out of an acheir (a foreigner).” His main purpose was to bring people who didn't know G‑d into a relationship with Him.

What was the key to his success in this area? That he was "of beautiful build and beautiful appearance." That he was beautiful in all areas, both in keeping the positive and negative commandments. It is explained7 that "build" refers to the positive commandments and "appearance" refers to the negative commandments.

His success with other people was because of his own character was in order.

The lesson to us is that we are all obligated to have an effect on the people we meet, having a positive influence on them, bringing them closer to G‑d. In order to do this, we first have to get ourselves in order.8 First work on correcting yourself and then have an influence on others.

This doesn't mean that you have to be perfect in order to have an influence on others. If that were the case, then very few people would be able to influence others, and it is certain that G‑d wants us to bring our brothers and sisters closer to Him.

However, one should be working on bettering himself, to become the way G‑d wants. If not, he will not be able to affect another positively, because people are intuitive and they can sense when someone is not genuine. And this can have the opposite effect, G‑d forbid, taking him or her further away from G‑d.

In other words, working on yourself is not only a personal endeavor, but it also has its effect on your surroundings and acquaintances. Therefore, working on yourself takes on a whole new significance. By working on yourself, you positively influence the world around you. And if you don't work on yourself, it is not just hurting you, but the world around you as well.

Potiphar's Wife

Our sages9 tell us that "the intentions of Potiphar’s wife were for the sake of Heaven." She saw through astrology that she was supposed to have children through Joseph, but it was really meant to be through her daughter, Osnat, whom Joseph later married.

We see from this story that it is possible that something that is totally inappropriate, even sinful to the extreme, is for the sake of Heaven.

The Alter Rebbe says in Tanya10 that if a Jew is praying and a heathen starts to bother him, not only should it not bother him, but it should motivate him and strengthen him to pray more intensely, coming from the depths of his heart.

If the whole purpose was to get him to pray more intensely, then why send a person to bother him? Why not send someone who will inspire him?

The truth is that everything that is in the world has its source in G‑dliness. Everything is meant to add holiness, it is just that when it comes down here, in this lowly physical world, it comes through an unholy interface, and it gets transformed into a negative action. He senses that because of his G‑dly source, he must add in holiness. He wants to do an action, but it comes out the wrong way. When you have this understanding, you will realize that he is really there to add in holiness.

This is true for anything that stands in the way of our service to G‑d. It might seem on the outside that it is in the way, but in its essence, it is there to help you.

And when you see the truth, that "nothing bad comes down from above,"11 then you are strengthened and nothing will be in the way of your service to G‑d.

When you accept this truth with all your heart, you will have the truth on your side, and nothing stands in the way of truth. Then, not only will your challenges not be a hindrance to you, but they will become a help.

There are two approaches to this. First of all, when you are faced with one of these situations, you can fight it with all you have, with every fiber in your being. Or you can take the abovementioned approach. You can see it for what it is, there to help you. And without any fight at all, you will be lifted higher and higher in holiness.

My wife, Dina, is always wondering how I can be so positive while I have ALS, not being able to do anything, locked inside my body. "Maybe he just doesn't get it."

I have my moments of frustration—not that often, but I have them.First of all, I have my moments of frustration—not that often, but I have them. Second, I know with all my heart that G‑d has a reason for putting me in this position, and it is a positive reason, so I try my best to make a difference. Third, my wife is always right. I don't get it. That is my nature, and it has served me well. I think the best of people, and many times when someone was trying to stick it to me, my nature is that I let it go right over my head. It turns out that it is disarming, and they usually end up being friends, sometimes good friends.

If we work on ourselves, and we start to see everything as good and there to help us, we will surely be successful in our personal service to G‑d, and we will have a tremendous effect on the people around us. We will uncover the G‑dliness that is the essence of everything, and they will help us serve G‑d. And that by definition is the time of Moshiach, when the G‑dly essence of every part of existence will be revealed, and therefore, "the world will be filled with the knowledge of G‑d like the waters cover the sea."12 May it happen soon.13