We read in the portion of Ki Teitzei: “If there is a quarrel between [two] men, who come to court to be judged, the innocent one will be acquitted and the guilty one will be condemned.”

In the Torah, there is nothing extra. Here, however, there seems to be extra words. The verse starts: “If there is a quarrel … ” It could have started: “When men come to court ... ” Isn’t it obvious that there is a dispute? Why else would they come to court?

The verse then continues: “ … the innocent one will be acquitted and the guilty one will be condemned.” What other option is there? Isn’t that what a court ought to do?

This is a special case. First, the two men were quarreling, from the fighting a more serious dispute arose. When they come to court, the judges recognize that this case started as a mere quarrel. They might be tempted to get involved in the underlying issue instead of judging the case at hand. The Torah tells the court to judge the case properly.

There is a message here for us all. Don’t think that quarreling with a friend is OK. Ultimately, it will escalate, and you will end up in court. Your case will not be judged according to your feelings, but by the law.

We each need to think about our relationships. Is it really worth fighting with friends and family? How many of us haven’t spoken to a friend or, even worse, a family member for a long time because of some petty matter?

Don’t let it come to that. Whether you feel innocent or guilty in the situation, it’s not worth the fighting, bickering and hurting.

Sometimes, we lose focus, forgetting that G‑d puts us in our situation. We start to feel negative about ourselves and everyone around us. Then the quarreling begins.

Practice recognizing His hand in all that happens. It will keep you positive.

Life is short. Be positive and easy to get along with. Be a good friend and good family member. Let the petty stuff slide. Be friendly; smile a lot. You will positively change the world for the good, and you will bring out the best in those around you.

(I would like to thank my wife Dina for her input in writing this post.)