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Essays and Insights

More than 50 essays and readings on the practical and mystical meanings of marriage, marital harmony, and the Jewish wedding experience.

All You Need Is Love? Wrong!
Is it true that love is the best medicine?
10 Pieces of Advice for Husbands
Before you criticize, ask yourself if it really matters in the long run. Are you better off letting things slide?
Love her for who she is, and not for what she does for you.
Moses vs. Freud
In the 70's, people challenged the concepts of monogamy and fidelity, naively believing that they could be truly caring and faithful to multiple contemporaneous partners. That simplistic innocence has been replaced in the 90's by a hard cynicism...
What to Look for in Spouse
No other decision you will make in the course of your lifetime will affect you as deeply and as irrevocably
The Search for a Soul Mate
What are the first qualities one should look for in our search for their soul mate? A lesson from approach Eliezer, Abraham's messenger to search for a bride for Isaac
Finding Love
"I want someone who's kind but not the too-kind type that lets himself be walked on, smart but not haughty, assertive but not overbearing, handsome but not vain.." The Rebbe laughed. "It sounds like you want to marry more than one person"
Holy Matrimony?
If the Torah tells us that a particular union is not kosher, rather than resenting the interference we should consider it as if the Almighty Himself came down and whispered a word of loving advice in our ears: "Trust me; this one is not right for you..."
Human or Beast?
The Torah's views and safeguards against sexual abuse
To many, these laws appear extreme, over-reactive and unnecessary. A little 1st-grader can't hug her daddy's best friend? Two adult co-workers of the opposite sex can’t work alone in the office to finish an important project?
An Arranged Marriage
Had Isaac and Rebecca met in the modern age, their courtship might have looked something like this. Isaac would notice Rebecca at the well . . .
Marriage: Destiny or Chance
Who is the Ultimate Matchmaker?
Does everyone have a bashert? If yes, why is it so difficult to find one's mate, and why do many never succeed? Is bashert an inevitable absolute, or are there exceptions? To what extent a role does human effort and decision making play in the process?
From the Writings of Our Sages
Selected excerpts from the Midrash and Talmud
Stories and insights from the Talmudic sages which shed insight on marriage and specifically the search for a soulmate.
Yiddishe Nachas
The "singles" phenomenon is arguably the single biggest social problem in the Jewish world today. We could well take a cue from the first Jewish father who needed to find a shidduch for his son - Abraham
The Rebbe Speaks to College Students
The Lubavitcher Rebbe answers questions posed by a group of college students on dating and marriage, Jewish identity, religion and ethics, moshiach and the future
Split Your Sea
If you were given a glimpse of your subconscious personality, what would you find?
Secrets to a Successful Second Marriage
One would think that an individual who has gone through a divorce would have “learned his lesson” and will, therefore, not repeat the mistakes of the past. But often this isn’t the case.
The Wedding Jitters
You are engaged. You are definitely glowing, though you're not sure if it is from joy or sweat. Where is the fairytale that you pictured for so many years? What is wrong with you?
Did You Marry for Beauty or Money?
There's an old stereotype when it comes to marriage. Men marry women for their looks. Women marry men for their money. There are of course many exceptions to this rule. But there is some truth to it too.
Marriage and Family Life
A treasury of thoughts and aphorism gleaned from the wisdom of the Torah and the Jewish sages which will enrich your wedding and marriage.
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