Bikur Cholim: Visiting and Praying for the Sick

Bikur Cholim, visiting the sick, is a very great mitzvah. The Torah relates how G‑d Himself visited our forefather Abraham during his time of illness through three angels. When visiting the sick, one offers prayers for a speedy recovery, material assistance if possible, and of course, moral encouragement.

In cities around the world, there are special Jewish societies dedicated to this mitzvah. Many individuals spend time every week and even every day, visiting total strangers in the hospital or those convalescing at home. Depending on the circumstances, these visitors may be the only ones in touch with the patient on a regular basis.

The Torah Way

• The mitzvah of visiting the sick consists of three elements: 1) Seeing to the material needs of the patient; 2) Praying for him or her; 3) Spending time with the patient and offering words of encouragement, and so on.

• It is best to visit with others; but one should not forgo the chance to visit if others cannot come along.

• One should not suddenly enter into the patient’s room. One should first make sure that the patient is prepared and able to receive visitors, either by first visiting the nurse’s station or by knocking on the door before entering.

• The visitor should speak to the patient in a positive manner, engaging the patient with light, yet meaningful talk.

• The visitor should help the patient give tzedakah (charity), for we are taught “great is charity for it saves from death.” The visitor can give the patient a few coins to place in a charity box, or the patient can make a pledge to do so on his own.

• The visitor should assist the patient with observing certain mitzvot (i.e., donning tefillin for males, lighting Shabbat and holiday candles, hearing the blowing of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah, making the blessing on and shaking the lulav and etrog on Sukkot, hearing the reading of the Megillah on Purim, eating matzah on Passover, etc.).

• If one feels close to the patient, he should encourage the patient to do a spiritual self-evaluation and to pray. The visitor should also remind the patient of the great power of repentance and the benefit of dedicating oneself to Torah observance. Some have the custom to recite the following short prayer in the presence of the patient:

May the Almighty have mercy on you, among all the sick of Israel.

• One should limit the amount of time spent with the patient, keeping in mind the patient’s condition, doctors’ orders, and other factors.

• One should not overstay to the point of becoming a burden.

• If it appears that the patient’s days are numbered, a family member, or in the case where there is no family available, a close friend or caregiver, should gently remind the patient to put his or her affairs in order (i.e. take care of debts, decide how to dispose of property, recite the Viduy, Confession, etc.).

Other Things One May Do

• On days when the Torah is read in synagogues (Mondays, Thursdays, Shabbat and Jewish holidays), one may request a special prayer for the sick, known as “Mi Shebairach,” to be recited at the Torah. In this prayer, one pledges to give charity in the merit of the ill. It is preferable to provide the reader with the patient’s Hebrew name, and that of his or her mother.

• Some people seek a blessing from a tzaddik (great Torah sage; righteous person) and/or ask the tzaddik to pray for them. Similarly, some people may send a note to the resting place (gravesite) of great Torah leaders, and ask them to beseech G‑d on behalf of the ill person. Friends can certainly travel to the resting place and petition the Torah leader on behalf of the patient.

• Kabbalah teaches us that a person’s name exerts an influence on one’s well-being. Therefore, in some severe cases, some have the custom to add an additional Hebrew name to the person’s existing name. This is done only by a competent rabbi. Some common names that are added are Chaim, Baruch or Refael (for a man), or Chaya, Bracha or Refaelah (for a woman). Chaim and Chaya mean “life” in Hebrew; Baruch and Bracha, mean “blessing”; and Refael and Refaelah mean “G‑d will heal.”

Psalms 20 and 119