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Lieba Rudolph

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Lieba Rudolph lives in Pittsburgh, PA, and writes a weekly blog about Jewish spirituality.
Two of my biggest fears as a teenager were dying young and getting old. Now that I have successfully beaten the first rap of dying young, I am doing everything I can to not get old.
He was standing with his huge prayer shawl, his tallis, draped over his head, with his tefillin strapped to his head and arm when a sweet-faced little girl skipped up to him and asked plainly: “What are you doing?”
When I was growing up, it seemed like I was the only one I knew who questioned the meaning of life. This lack of clarity caused me tremendous anxiety as a child, and even as a teenager.
Once I started learning about G‑dly behavior, I sometimes regretted my past, pondering how I would have “acted” had I been raised differently.
The spiritual scales operate differently, but they are very real, too, even if I don’t see them.
I feel like I’m on a scavenger hunt for myself. Maybe I can find some clues to help explain how I got this way.
Nothing about Jewish observance was "second nature" to me. I had to learn everything from scratch.
It felt strange to be ringing Mrs. Markovic's doorbell in broad daylight…
What kinds of memories are made when you take your family every summer to visit a cemetery?
Pictures don't lie, but they don't tell the whole truth either. They just capture a moment—no, a split-second—in time.
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